Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

When to tell new boyfriend I had Sleeve surgery?



Recommended Posts

Been dating a guy for over 2 months now. He didn't know me when I weighed 270 pounds or before WLS. Wondering when/if should tell him. We've ate out at restaurants so he's seen the small amounts I've eaten and always take home the leftovers too. I told him I'm watching what I'm eating & have mentioned to him I've lost weight but haven't told him how much or how.

Opinions???

Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Been dating a guy for over 2 months now. He didn't know me when I weighed 270 pounds or before WLS. Wondering when/if should tell him. We've ate out at restaurants so he's seen the small amounts I've eaten and always take home the leftovers too. I told him I'm watching what I'm eating & have mentioned to him I've lost weight but haven't told him how much or how.

Opinions???

Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Have you guys had monkey sex yet? Does the weight loss show on your body? If it does, you probably should tell him. If it doesn't....then my suggestion is to use your instinct. I think it depends on how the guy may/may not react. I will be very curious to see what others say about this. Good question! I think you are going to get passionate answers from both sides. Good luck! And remember to stay true to yourself, not what others push you to do. :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whenever you're ready to share that. I was following a gal on Youtube that didn't tell her man until he'd proposed. He didn't seem surprised.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes the weight loss does show on my body, I do have loose skin and saggy boobs. I am very self concious about that too, more so than when I weighed 270. Yes we have had sex and I wondered what he was thinking when he saw me naked. I have thought about telling him but wondered what his reaction would be.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Have you guys had monkey sex yet? Does the weight loss show on your body? If it does, you probably should tell him. If it doesn't....then my suggestion is to use your instinct. I think it depends on how the guy may/may not react. I will be very curious to see what others say about this. Good question! I think you are going to get passionate answers from both sides. Good luck! And remember to stay true to yourself, not what others push you to do. :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would do what you feel is in right at the time. Eventually probably,

but why not enjoy the moment til you're ready!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm in a similar situation, although I'm not quite as close to goal. We've been dating 3 months and I always think about telling him but I worry after this long he's suspected or figured it out. I mention often losing weight, working out, low carb, hoping he will ask questions but he doesn't. He has seen old pictures of me too. I've lost 30-35 lbs since I've met him but he hasn't said anything. He's a nurse and he has seen me naked so I'm sure the scars tipped him off. To me, my weight loss shows on my body but since I still have a lot to lose he may not realize it. I am also more insecure now than I was 135 pounds ago, which was one of my biggest fears with VSG. I also think it's because I worry he's a little out of my league. He's so much hotter than any guy I've ever dated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is a really personal decision and depends on your relationship. I had been dating a guy for 5 months that I really, really liked (still with him). He is a former pro soccer player and very fit. He and I started dating at my highest weight. He didn't know about my surgery until the day of and he went to the hospital with me. He didn't find out the nature of the surgery until a week after. As a middle aged person with a few controlling relationships under her belt, I did not want or need one more man telling me what I could or couldn't do. I never lied or deceived, I just didn't disclose until I was ready. He was really shocked at first, and somewhat hurt. Then he started cooking nourishing broths for me and has been my biggest supporter since.

Not that this would be what might happen in your case. Just sharing my particular story.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well this is a good question. I am single also and since losing weight have very loose skin. I will definitely have to disclose that I have lost weight BUT not necessarily the surgery. I think that I will play it as it happens; if he asks about my scars I guess I will have to spill it all...............

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just had my surgery and my bf new but four months into us going to the dating! He couldn't figure out why I was going to the dr monthly! He has been nothing but supportive. Tell him when your ready! Always remember you deserve that hot hot guy! I found mine and people tell me he is hot all the time!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      I changed my profile image to a molecule of protein. Why? Because I am certain that it saved my life.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • eclarke

      Two years out. Lost 120 , regained 5 lbs. Recently has a bout of Norovirus, lost 7 pounds in two days. Now my stomach feels like it did right after my surgery. Sore, sensitive to even water.  Anyone out there have a similar experience?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×