I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we met when I was at my biggest (288lbs) I have since lost almost 90 pounds. He was always jealous since the day I met him, and was insecure as he always thought he would lose me (I dont know why) He's been supportive with my weight loss and I know he loves me whether im big or small. Only issue is that hes insecure and jealous. He does not like to party or go out. Hes boring! We always argue about this. When I was bigger, I would go out sometimes but didnt go out much just to make him happy and it didnt bother me as much as I didnt have much outfits. But now, sexy clothes fit me. I want to go out more, I want to live life, im 24! Im not trying to buy beautiful dresses so they can hang in my closet! lol...He doesnt like to go out so I go out with my girls. All of a sudden its a big issue. He claims that I have changed and that I think that Im all that, and thats why im going out. And I feared this the most as I dont want to come across as a person who changes after weight loss surgury. I havent changed, im still the same person just look better and have more confidence.I enjoy all the compliments I get, I know he hatesss seeing other men comment or like my pictures on facebook. He always tries to make a point like "They didnt like you back then, but now they do. I was there when nobody wanted you". He will say stupid stuff like that and my response would be "You act like I was ugly or something lol I dated before you, men always liked me. Just so happened I dated you for the longest, and yeah most men do find me more attractive now, but that does not mean that Im going to leave u for them!" We fight almost every damn day. To the point where I ask myself what the hell am I still doing with him??? He makes me want to date other men.One time he just completely ignored me for 2 weeks. I kept calling and texting him but he wouldnt respond. So I said screw him, by the 4th day I went out to party. Within a week I started meeting new people trying to move on. I never took anyone serious but I def loved going out on dates. Then he just magically shows up after 2 weeks crying because Im having a great time. what does he think would happen when u ignore me without letting me know what i did wrong or even to verbally tell me that ur breaking up with me. And how do I know what hes doing? He just wants me to sit home and cry for 2 weeks like I dont have a life...

I do love him, he's my best friend, but damn, hes immature and he's making it seem like im the issue, when clearly he is.(Hes 23) If he would just go out with me, this wouldnt be an issue. He does dinner, movies, parks those type of things. But sometimes I just want to go to a lounge or a party and wear a dress, u know? I've spoken to him about this many times, We actually just went to dinner 2 hours ago and spoke about things. I invited him to a party on sat bc I brought a black dress that I want to wear as I am going to hit 199 in a few days!!! Im very excited about this, he is too but he still does not want to party! I suggested we go to the city to do something else then, anything just as long as I wear my dress. But in his head, he thinks that I have some sort of plan. He cursed me out and told me to go do what I want to do and that hes tired of this. This is sooo frustraing. Has anybody dealt with annoying bf/husband/gf/wife who cant handle your weightloss? And please give me ur opinions..thanks

Girl. Leave his butt and go do you. Any man that would say that to you is wrong. You are young and have so much to look forward too. You dont need a man to hold you back and you dont know who is out there waiting to find you. Go have fun and live your life without regrets. Plus if he's been jealous the whole time then he has some major issues going on with HIM and it's probably something he wont ever get over. just my opinion.

thanks...I may give him 1 more chance, then if that dont work then oh well..ill even suggest counseling again...n then I wont try anymore...cuz u cant change anyone

Thanks guys!

The truth be known, u have changed and there's nothing wrong with that.....u need to get out and enjoy life or U will regret it. Ur boyfriend needs to put on his big boy pants and shake off his anxiety an go out and have fun with u. This is a perfect time to go get some counseling.

Kick him to the curb. He is a child. Go find yourself a man that will treat you right.

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thanks...I may give him 1 more chance' date=' then if that dont work then oh well..ill even suggest counseling again...n then I wont try anymore...cuz u cant change anyone

Thanks guys![/quote']

Sounds to me you've already tried. Trouble with one more chance is it's simply a way of avoiding dealing with what you know deep down has to happen.

Theres always 3 sides of the story. Your side, his side, and the truth. But at the end of the day when it is all said and done you gotta do what's gonna make you happy.. best of luck to you.

R.U.N!

Like your life depended on it. This is not how best friends treat each other. This is not supportive. Honey you are WAY too young to be dealing with drama! This is not about you changing and becoming one of those "skinny b**ches" he should live that you feel good about yourself, not tear you down! "Remember I wanted you when no one else would"????? HELL NO! Remind him that you put up with his B.S. when no one else will but that your patience has about run out! Tell him if he needs to be with someone whos insecure about themselves to make himself feel better, you are not the girl for him. You deserve someone that is crazy about you not someone's who's just crazy.

I know this is a hard situation. I was in a relationship that was similar but different. My ex of 3 years was my best friend. I loved him so much, would do anything for him, support him and was a mother to his kids when there real mom was nowhere to be found. But behind closed doors he was what they call a "feeder" and he was trying to control me and force me into gaining weight. I've struggled with weight my whole life and having someone that loved the fat me was wonderful. But I knew it wasn't healthy and I couldn't continue to be with this person that was 85% perfect for me. Leaving him was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I did it. One year later I was sleeved and I've now lost a total of 115lbs. And only have 10 more lbs to lose to be under 200lbs!!!!! I feel so much better. Do I miss him? Every damn day. But I'm now in a relationship with a man that supports me and loves me and wants me to be happy and succeed, no matter what.

My point is that even if you can't see it now... There is a whole world out there for you. He is not it. You need a partner... Not an anchor.

Best of luck to you sweetie.

You need a partner... Not an anchor.

I love how you pretty much sum it all up in those words and it gives a very distinct mental image.

MsFab......

I am so sorry this is happening, but when someone shows you who they are believe them! You can't always believe what they "tell" you, believe what they "show" you. If he is showing you that he is not a "go out and party person" then he probably won't change, if he is showing you that he is jealous, then he is. Love is not jealous. If he really was into you and the relationship he would be willing to do more of the things you want to do. Shouldn't have to get cussed out, because he don't want to grow up. Please, you are a pretty girl, you are young, don't waste your time. RUN!!!!!!!! -Missymellie33

Also, when you break from him, don't go back...seriously the jealous ones are the crazy ones..if you know what I mean. I'm just saying, be careful!

thanks...I may give him 1 more chance, then if that dont work then oh well..ill even suggest counseling again...n then I wont try anymore...cuz u cant change anyone

Thanks guys!

MsFab.....

Does he really deserve another chance? One more chance to do what? Hurt you, curse you, falsely accuse you, be jealous of you? Emotionally abuse you? Which one? I am just saying....

Kick him to the curb. He is a child. Go find yourself a man that will treat you right.

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That's it, T3.

From the viewpoint of a father of a girl that married an emotionally stunted, self-centered, girly man who put her through hours and hours of verbal abuse before she finally was rid of him...it is so not worth it. Unless you want to be his therapist for the rest of your life find a MAN.

Why wait for him to hurt you again? He will do it repeatedly. You posted this for a reason and you are looking for answers. Everyone here has given you the answer you wanted to hear, so now it's time to take care of you. Get out before you get hurt again. A wise woman takes care of them self. Of course I mean no harm, but this is a reality check. I hope you make a healthy decision.

I'm going to take a slightly different approach and say that it IS in fact YOU that has changed. You're getting healthy and learning to live with the new you. Let's be honest, that is going to change anyone. Embrace the fact that you are different, it's not a bad thing. He may be trying to guilt you into feeling you should be ashamed of what you have accomplished. That is more about him than you.

What I am hearing is that you like the person you are becoming and that is great!! You deserve a chance to allow yourself to become the person you really want to be. It's rare in life that someone can reinvent themselves at our ages and yet we're doing it. You said that you were a homebody just like he is and now you want to go out. That is a change on your part. He still wants to stay in and that's fine. But it's not what you want anymore!

Accept that your personality types just don't mesh anymore. You have gone through surgery to become the person you want to be for the rest of your life. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who wishes to experience life differently than you do?

Sounds like a hold back!!! Congrats on your weight loss, don't pretty him hold you back your time is now... This if what you worked so hard for!!! I can't wait to be there to sister!!! Keep on keepin on =)