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Distant Husband

Jessielynn

By Jessielynn, in The Gals' Room

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Jessielynn    112

Jessielynn
Posted

Ok so I've been sleeved a few weeks now and I feel i have been doing great! My husband on the other hand.......hmmmmm!

Ever since being sleeved we have been at each others throat! Anybody else going through this?

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mommybo    71

mommybo
Posted

i'm not where you are yet but i can see myself being there. i just found out i'm approved and my husband has flipped a switch and is now acting like he doesn't want me to have the surgery. ugh!! i know he is not going to be as supportive as i thought he would be. but i am doing this for me and not for him. hope things get better for you. :unsure:

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Jessielynn    112

Jessielynn
Posted

i'm not where you are yet but i can see myself being there. i just found out i'm approved and my husband has flipped a switch and is now acting like he doesn't want me to have the surgery. ugh!! i know he is not going to be as supportive as i thought he would be. but i am doing this for me and not for him. hope things get better for you. :unsure:

Hope things get better for you also, the difference is my husband is supportive of this!

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Tekara3927    265

Tekara3927
Posted

What do u think has changed?

Sent from my iPad using VST

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Jessielynn    112

Jessielynn
Posted

What do u think has changed?

Sent from my iPad using VST

????????????? I really don't know...him

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Tekara3927    265

Tekara3927
Posted

Like.. You're saying you don't know him.... Or it's him that's changed?

Sent from my iPad using VST

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dexter    205

dexter
Posted

Maybe hidden insecurity that is expressed by lashing out?

My husband and I have had tough times but he's remained supportive. But, in the hospital, he asked me something late that first night. It was hard for him to say. He just quietly asked "when you lose the weight, will you leave me?"

Of course not! But this was a real issue on his heart. Maybe an issue similar to this is going on?

Maybe he needs some reassurance you aren't going anywhere.

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Jessielynn    112

Jessielynn
Posted

I guess it's him that changed. I just wasn't sure if anyone else's husband acted weird after they got sleeved! He's very supportive of me getting it but now he's so moody he flies off the handle at everything!

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Jessielynn    112

Jessielynn
Posted

Maybe hidden insecurity that is expressed by lashing out?

My husband and I have had tough times but he's remained supportive. But' date=' in the hospital, he asked me something late that first night. It was hard for him to say. He just quietly asked "when you lose the weight, will you leave me?"

Of course not! But this was a real issue on his heart. Maybe an issue similar to this is going on?

Maybe he needs some reassurance you aren't going anywhere.[/quote']

He did say presleeve.....when you get skinny and get a boyfriend.......I thought he was just joking, we have always had a very strong relationship that this is so out of the ordinary!

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Tekara3927    265

Tekara3927
Posted

Mine says it every time. He is constantly smothering me, saying he sees the way men look at me and he's afraid I'm going to leave him. It's definetly him being insecure but I told him if he can love me at my worst, then he deserves me at my best. He tends to get a little snippy when we aren't intimate for a day or two, I think it's him being insecure. Maybe just talk to him and ask him why he's acting like that? He probably is scared you are going to leave him. Best wishes.

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CBT    450

CBT
Posted

I think also we become very self-focused for long periods of time. We change the dynamics of the relationship. That's tough for spouses and kids: "no I can't eat that. No lets not go to dinner it's such a waste. No, I'm recovering. Look how good I'm doing." It's change. Our change is dramatic change for all the people who love us.

life is a journey, not a destination; so, stop running -H.D. THEROUX

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takroom    192

takroom
Posted

Jessielynn- yes, I have experienced the same circstances. I am now almost 3 mos post-op. My husband & i have been together for 13 years now. Right after surgery I was a bit of a b@$#h because he would eat whatever he would want in front of me & I was still adjusting to my sleeve & felt he wasn't being supportive. He would say things like...when you get skinny, you'll leave me & get a boyfriend. We finally had to have a sit down, heart to heart talk. I explained that I didn't have the surgery so I could get skinny & leave him but that I had the surgery so I could live a happier, healthier life to give us more time together. Well, since our talk, he has become more supportive & now that I've lost 41 pounds, he is always complementing me on how great I look & how skinny I'm getting. He's even been on board with the healthier eating.... My suggestion, have a heart to heart talk with him. Ask him to express his concerns & be open with your feelings also. Best of luck to you & I hope everything works itself out :)

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twoolley    141

twoolley
Posted

He did say presleeve.....when you get skinny and get a boyfriend.......I thought he was just joking, we have always had a very strong relationship that this is so out of the ordinary!

He's worried that you will leave him. You two really need to talk about it and the lashing out and flying off the handle at little things will resolve.

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meinsasha    2

meinsasha
Posted

Sounds like the men in our lives are insecure. I go in for surgery on Monday and every day he gets grumpier and grumpier.... We have talked about it though, but his reactions to things have not changed yet

You really need to talk to him....it'll get better!

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valdostaGA    149

valdostaGA
Posted

Ok so I've been sleeved a few weeks now and I feel i have been doing great! My husband on the other hand.......hmmmmm!

Ever since being sleeved we have been at each others throat! Anybody else going through this?

Yes mam I'm getting divorced! Things weren't good before surgery but now it's worst!

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