female only Distant Husband

[rev.meckenzie 18]

If I may, as a man, husband, & counselor, ALOT of men are nervous about the attention you will get because of weight loss. It's not that he doesn't want you to lose weight, but what if there was a Bbd (bigger better deal). You are his and he is afraid that he will not be able to compete. This may not be true for all but this is for some. Seek a professional and be honest this can be a great situation for both of you.

[Ballermom 803]

My hubby is supportive now. But that wasn't the case when I first brought up the subject of getting sleeved. I went to all my appointments by myself. But he got on board when I took him to my psych appointment. Before that, I was too having these same concerns. Because of hearing some previous stories that some people do divorce. Well what changed is me. I decided to keep going. I m praying for myself to be healthy and more actively involve in my kids lives and not just be a spectator.

To not always be in pain. To at least not use my kids as my remote. As parents and mothers we hardly ever put put selves first!

Your getting healthy for your family as well.

You are a role model too. But, yea counseling for me, if I and when I need it.

Blessings to all!

[AFox 2]

My husband has been very supportive and so sweet. I think he really just wants to see me happy again and I'm sure he wouldn't mind the slender body lol! But he has said that a lot of guys at work have had their wives cheat and leave them after weight-loss surgery. I've assured him that would'nt happen to us. I teared up when I read someone say "you loved me at my worst, you deserve me at my best". That is so beautiful! I think our poor men are just scared of change. Changing our bodies, getting a degree, promotion or anything that makes us "need" them less can make them insecure. I guess trying to involve them more into our new lives or even getting a little counseling would be beneficial.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

I was kinda hoping that a lady would have addressed this, but looks like I get to set myself up for a lynching again.

You are rapidly losing weight. All that fat that is being burned off your body has stores of estrogen in it. As it burns off, all that estrogen is dumped into your blood stream. At this point you are chemically imbalanced.

*ducks for cover*

I thought that I was immune to this being a guy, but after asking my wife, I was informed that I was very short tempered for a couple months after surgery. She said I would get upset about little things that haven't bothered me in years, & she felt like she was walking on egg shells to keep from annoying me.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it probably not him. In all reality he is probably sitting there wondering where his wife went, & when or if she's gonna come back.

My advice is to sit down and ask him why he thinks the 2 of you are arguing? I bet his response will be something like "because you are not happy with anything I do anymore.". Then explain to him that you just learned about the chemical imbalance this surgery creates & you make a concerted effort to curtail it. But you will be a bit on the sensitive side till the weight loss slows.

So the price he pays for getting a thin hottie for a wife. Is he has to deal with the b!tch for a few months.

[Ballermom 803]

I was kinda hoping that a lady would have addressed this' date=' but looks like I get to set myself up for a lynching again.

You are rapidly losing weight. All that fat that is being burned off your body has stores of estrogen in it. As it burns off, all that estrogen is dumped into. Your blood stream. At this point you are chemically imbalanced.

*ducks for cover*

I thought that I was immune to this being a guy, but after asking my wife, I was informed tgat I was very short tempered for a couple months after surgery. She said I would get upset about little things that haven't bothered me in years, & she felt like she was walking on egg shells to keep from annoying me.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it probably not him. In all reality he is probably sitting there wondering where his wife went, & when or if she's gonna come back.

My advice is to sit down and ask him why he thinks the 2 of you are arguing? I bet his response will be something like "because you are not happy with anything I do anymore.". Then explain to him that you just learned about the chemical imbalance this surgery creates & you make a concerted effort to curtail it. But you will be a bit on the sensitive side till the weight loss slows.

So the price he pays for getting a thin hottie for a wife. Is he has to deal with the b!tch for a few months.[/quote']

Thanks

I'm not sleeved yet but can see that this can occur on my part alone.

Thanks for your honesty.

Blessings to all.

[RobbiesGirl 14]

Thanks for the info on Estrogen. I am perimenapausal and take an estrogen supplement. I get sleeved this week, 12/5 and one of my biggest concerns is not bring able to take my supplement. This actually puts my mind at rest.

[Jessielynn 112]

I was kinda hoping that a lady would have addressed this' date=' but looks like I get to set myself up for a lynching again.

You are rapidly losing weight. All that fat that is being burned off your body has stores of estrogen in it. As it burns off, all that estrogen is dumped into your blood stream. At this point you are chemically imbalanced.

*ducks for cover*

I thought that I was immune to this being a guy, but after asking my wife, I was informed that I was very short tempered for a couple months after surgery. She said I would get upset about little things that haven't bothered me in years, & she felt like she was walking on egg shells to keep from annoying me.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it probably not him. In all reality he is probably sitting there wondering where his wife went, & when or if she's gonna come back.

My advice is to sit down and ask him why he thinks the 2 of you are arguing? I bet his response will be something like "because you are not happy with anything I do anymore.". Then explain to him that you just learned about the chemical imbalance this surgery creates & you make a concerted effort to curtail it. But you will be a bit on the sensitive side till the weight loss slows.

So the price he pays for getting a thin hottie for a wife. Is he has to deal with the b!tch for a few months.[/quote']

No lynching here;) I actually sat down with him and apologized for being a b$)@& and he apologized for being an a...hole;)

It was him being very afraid of what would happen and me being wrapped up in the moment! We then had some awesome nooky;)

This whole experience is such a roller coaster in so many ways, that being said because of the sleeve we will have so many more full filling years together!

Thank you all for the support and replies..I don't usually air my dirty laundrey but as o.t.r. Said it was probably the estrogen...lol

[Kelsan 117]

He probably is feeling insecure and thinks you're going to change and not want him anymore. I've heard this a lot when people loose weight and they trade their spouse in. Maybe you should extend an olive branch when he's not moody.

Also, I remember a post you did after getting sleeved. Are you feeling better and did you ever find out what the cause for the fever was?

[cnunez77 29]

I am almost three weeks post op and still in pain so haven't been wanting to go out as much just been wanting to stay home and this is making my hubby a little upset I keep asking him to be patient with me and the intimate dept too not so good I am just in pain so if he loves me he will wait it will get better i am certain

[Jessielynn 112]

He probably is feeling insecure and thinks you're going to change and not want him anymore. I've heard this a lot when people loose weight and they trade their spouse in. Maybe you should extend an olive branch when he's not moody.

Also' date=' I remember a post you did after getting sleeved. Are you feeling better and did you ever find out what the cause for the fever was?[/quote']

I did and we are good now;)

And yes they figured out that my lung collapsed after the first surgery and pneumonia set in, plus I was extremely dehydrate!

I am all good now and loving my sleeve;)

[asherje 81]

Had a girl friend have bypass, she was 300+ married to a stick (nice guy, very thin) he loved her unconditionally, but unfortunately looked like she settled for him because she "couldn't do better" after being together for around 7+ yrs. soon as the weight started comin off shed leave him home with the baby (1-2yr old can't remember) to go party and drink at bars.

Soon as she got down to around 180lbs she divorced him for a guy she meet in a bar.

Statistically the spouses arent crazy for being insecure that the party that had surgery will leave, because they normally do. It's a sad truth.