Alright, It's A Little Catty, But...

[Boofster 159]

I am having my surgery on Monday. I know it's going to be a totaly lifestyle change but I am so excited (for me and for all the other sleevesters with me this month!!) I can't wait for better health, dropping those pesky diabetes & HBP meds, and feeling really good. And yes, if I do say so myself, I am looking forward to (EVENTUALLY) giving the hot girls at work a run for their money!!

[Jen35 283]

I am having my surgery on Monday. I know it's going to be a totaly lifestyle change but I am so excited (for me and for all the other sleevesters with me this month!!) I can't wait for better health, dropping those pesky diabetes & HBP meds, and feeling really good. And yes, if I do say so myself, I am looking forward to (EVENTUALLY) giving the hot girls at work a run for their money!!

Not catty at all. I've spent my entire adult life overweight. I'm looking forward to looking better and feeling more confident. (Even though this is not the only reason I'm getting WLS). I am planning a trip with my siblings to Mexico in September and I plan on rocking some skimpy clothes for the first time in almost 20 years!!!

[Piplula 709]

That's not catty....that's the truth!!!!!

[@DomLorenVSG 107]

I say this with a full heart and lots of warm and fuzzies- be careful. If the hot girls in your office are a problem now, they will be a bigger problem later. Make sure to really think about what you share and how you share this journey with them. I'm 13 weeks post op and doing fabulously, the problem is I did NOT get the positive feedback that everyone else in the forums have been getting. It's been a lot of back handed compliments, a lot of caddiness, and me having to cut a few "friendships" off. Two specifc girls were so comfortable wit me being the fat friend that they literally started every rumor imagineable about me and didn't hold back on humiliation or alienation. It hurt to my core. We want to visualize the end result in our head, that day we walk in looking amazing in heels and a nice pencil skirt and all eyes are on us and our huge smile.... but be weary, along with those stares and admiration comes jealousy in forms you've never seen or experienced before.

I chose to keep my wls private, and I am very thankful I did. The amount of judgement I've gotten thus far, is only a fraction of the flood of negativity had I been open about it. The only people I've opened up to about the surgery are my over weight friends that have noticed my substantial weight loss, and I tell them privately in an email or in person. I don't like when thin people who've never had weight problems pass judgment on obese people who chose surgery. It's counter productive and really just not useful since the deed is done. All I can say is, I'm healthy, and FABULOUS!

You will do great. You will lose this weight, keep it off, and start a whole new fabulous chapter to your life. You will love every minute of it, it will be a struggle but once it starts coming off- it will be allllll down hill. Get your game face on, but don't forget your helmet and padding because it's going to be a bumpy ride.

[Boofster 159]

The girls at work are in no way a problem now. I work in a company with a very conservative culture and although they are in my department, I do not work with them. So no issues now. It's just people here are very health conscious and while there has never been an outward word said, I am sure there is a bit of a hairy eyeball cast now and then at the big girl going bumba, bumba down the hall.

I have not told anyone except for 2 people (not in my department) the real reason for the surgery. They think I am having gallbladder surgery. I like a little bit of mystery...let them wonder what is happening. I mean, it's not like I am not coming back after two weeks weighing 120.

[Jen35 283]

Dlmeekie, I love your post. I'm pre-op and I can already see this happening with one of my friends. Fortunately, I could see the writting on the wall about our friendship a while ago and started making some distance. But it's sad to think that so many people judge us for being "fat" and then when we lose the weight we are judged by our own friends. This does seem to weed out those who really care about us for the right reasons.

[coolmamma73 129]

I want to keep it a secret just among my family a few choice friends.

My question is what do u say when your acquaintances and people u see in a daily basis notice your drastic weight loss?

I don't want to explain it to every person and justify my reasoning.

I think I will just say I have been watching what I eat and exercising (which is not a lie)

[TwinsMama 483]

I want to keep it a secret just among my family a few choice friends.

My question is what do u say when your acquaintances and people u see in a daily basis notice your drastic weight loss?

I don't want to explain it to every person and justify my reasoning.

I think I will just say I have been watching what I eat and exercising (which is not a lie)

Hey Cool, my good friend had RnY (best support system to me other than hubby). She yo-yo dieted for years even losing 100+ once. When she did Weight Watchers everyone held her up as a hero. After WLS, she got more than a few negative comments. Her go to response now is that she changed her lifestyle (diet and exercise).

If people ask she tells them but she doesn't broadcast. Also once someone we hadn't seen in years asked her what happened (shock of seeing her thin), her response I'm still the same X, just 100 lbs lighter...so cute and quick come back. We all laughed!

[@DomLorenVSG 107]

Dlmeekie, I love your post. I'm pre-op and I can already see this happening with one of my friends. Fortunately, I could see the writting on the wall about our friendship a while ago and started making some distance. But it's sad to think that so many people judge us for being "fat" and then when we lose the weight we are judged by our own friends. This does seem to weed out those who really care about us for the right reasons.

I thought for sure I'd get so much positive re-enforcement, etc, and when it didn't come I was upset and sad. Then again years of yo-yo dieting people pretty much assumed that I was on a fad diet again, I'm going to lose some weight but it will be back in a few months- why praise someone for being a yo-yo dieter. I get it, but it still gives no one the right to judge or cut someone else's attempts down. I encourage all my friends no matter what route they take to do what’s right for them.

For people I don't want to know how I lost the weight, I simply just tell them working out, high Protein diet, no crap food, and less than 1000 calories a day. I said that to one person, and they told me I'm terribly unhealthy and starving myself. I said no, i'm actually never hungry- I eat when I'm hungry- two bites of whatever, and I'm done. She snarled at me and insisted I was doing it all wrong. She's 100+ lbs over weight. I have to take criticism with a grain of salt, because people don't know I had wls. But again, mean commentary and back handed compliments come along with the territory.

I wrote an entire blog post talking about toxic people. I really had surrounded myself with toxic people before my surgery. It was no different from my friend who is having infertility problems surrounding herself with pregnant women and obsessing about their success and mourning her inability to conceive. I understand now exactly how she feels. I surrounded myself with skinny girls, who've never had dietary issues or weight loss complications. They frowned at my diet attempts and said just work out and it will happen- uummmmm NO. It won't just magically happen. I needed help, I needed surgery, just as my friend has to spend thousands on invetro and fertility docs and appointments I have to do the same with my weight loss. I needed help and rather than opening myself up for more criticism I did what I felt was necessary to lose this weight and get my life back on track. Is there a price tag on feeling good about yourself and being healthy? Looking back, my biggest regret wasn't doing this sooner, and not making my health a priority from get go.