I read at least two posts this morning, including this one by member charchar that mention not really telling people you know about going through this process of surgery. I can count on one hand how many people I know who know about my decision. It's an interesting dynamic. I'm usually overly forthcoming, but not with this. I realize I'm eventually going to have to tell people right? When I drop ~100 lbs in ~6 months, surely people will start asking questions.

What are my reasons not to tell them? There's a slim chance I'll back out. I don't need nay-sayers (like my brother already is). I guess the more I think about it is, it's a little embarrassing that I can't lose the weight - and keep it off - any other way.

So, which direction have you chosen and why?

I've told 2 people about my upcoming surgery on the 30th...my husband and best friend. Both of which promised not to say anything to anyone else until I'm ready. I'm sure I'll tell after the surgery, but I just don't want to deal with any negativity before surgery. I just took vacation time from work, so I didn't tell anyone at work.

I am the opposite, I blab at work; probably because I work in a hospital and will be having my surgery at our "sister" hospital which HIPPA aside, everyone knows what is going on and I will have to take the time off anyways. But my Mom; Sister and children who live out of town? I am going to wait until my recovery time is over and I am off any liquid diet, and feeling better. I also do not want to have to justify myself to others that think I am taking the "easy" way out! Let them try to live on protein drinks for 2 weeks and call it easy!!!!! If this is selfish, I will apologize later!! I agree though, this will be hard enough without the "Naysayers"!!

To know about my operation is a priviledge I grant to those I deem worthy. I am under no obligation to tell. I run my own mouth and my own life and form my own self image which, by the way, in no way hinges on anyone's opinion but mine and God's.

I did my research, said my prayers, and took my chances. It turned out good.

If someone expresses opposition to how I lost weight they can expect my respectful attention but they need not expect me to express shame.

There is no shame.

I am proud of my decisive action and for taking responsibility for my life.

I told my immediate family and a few closest friends. My reason is that I know that I am sensitive to negative comments, being fat sure doesn't mean "thick skinned"! I did the research regarding wls and was 100% confident in my decision. I really didn't want to sell my reasons to anybody. If anyone were to ask me if I had wls, I would be honest. I just don't feel the need to tell the world.

VST addict; I love your "looking forward to" list!!!

I told my friends and fam that im doing it. Its going to be that extra push if i think about backing out. Im doing this for me if they dont like it to bad. I have been lucky that every1 has been supportive about doing it but i also welcome the negitive. I have gotten alot of questions though. I guess telling them was like having more people in my corner.

Dont be embarrased u tried it didnt work they dont understand or know what u have done thus far.

I don't think there is anyone I haven't told, relatives, coworkers, everybody on my facebook, waitresses, etc. I didn't want to cook for a while after surgery, couldn't swim til my tummy healed up, don't allow krispy kreme doughnuts in my office, or when I do go into restaurants, I wanna order off the kids menu, a la carte, pretty good explanation for all the above . Also, some people have asked me questions regarding themselves and surgery or high protein diet and they wouldn't know to ask if I didn't share. I'm proud I had the guts (haha) to do it and have nothing to hide. It certainly isn't the easy road.

I totally understand your decision! I have only told my family and a couple close friends and the reactions I've gotten have not been great or encouraging. I've decided to keep it to myself. My family is slowly coming on board after explaining to them my reasons why and the sleeve being safer than the RNY, as far as complications. Best of luck to you!

For me, it's been hit or miss on who I tell. It's not that I'm ashamed of what I am going to do. It's more the reaction of what I'm going to when I tell people that maybe keeps me from telling certain people.

Of course, my family was first to know. My husband is my best friend, and his opinion and support means everything to me. Next was telling my parents and children. Which they too were very supportive. Of course I heard the comments "can't you do this without surgery?" And my reaction is "I haven't been able to thus far and until you lived in my shoes and deal with all the emotions I deal with daily, you'll probably NEVER truly understand". Usually, that puts it into perspective for them.

I have told some VERY close friends and they've all been very supportive. I've even learned of many other people in friends families that have had similar WLS and to hear their success with it was very comforting. Had I not told those people I would have never known their similar "family/friends" stories.

However, there are certainly people I chose not to tell and won't tell unless asked. If I'm asked "how did you lose it?" I'll simply be honest: DEDICATION and HARD WORK! I am all about paying it forward and helping others. If my story can help someone else, than that's WONDERFUL!

It's our life, and we are chosing to make it a better one.

They think I am on a medically supervised weight loss diet ( which I am) My Brother...well, he will probably think I'm nuts. Didn't want to worry my Older boys, and the 4 youngers at home thought I was at a nursing conference. my work thinks I had gall bladder surgery (out years ago). I am a super private person and only need a cheering section of 3. If the others notice my weight loss I will tell them I decided to go on a medically supervised diet, and leave it at that. My journey, my struggle, my business. I like the anonymity of this site, and I have made friends I met in person on my same journey, so that's a plus.

Done Did It!

They think I am on a medically supervised weight loss diet ( which I am) My Brother...well' date=' he will probably think I'm nuts. Didn't want to worry my Older boys, and the 4 youngers at home thought I was at a nursing conference. my work thinks I had gall bladder surgery (out years ago). I am a super private person and only need a cheering section of 3. If the others notice my weight loss I will tell them I decided to go on a medically supervised diet, and leave it at that. My journey, my struggle, my business. I like the anonymity of this site, and I have made friends I met in person on my same journey, so that's a plus.

Done Did It![/quote']

Lost the first sentence. This app is nuts. I didn't tell my parents, they are judgmental and opinionated

Done Did It!

I've blabbed it to everyone. Family and Facebook. I'm not a very private person and I think the reason for that is I don't care about other people's opinions. I made this decision and I'm comfortable with it. If someone has a bad opinion of it I'd tell them to not have the surgery. Bam, problem solved.

Before the surgery, very few: close family and a couple of good friends. After the surgery: I put it on facebook.

I don't need/want "feedback" that's anything but positive. I'm too old and too sure to waste time with naysayers. I saw the chance for a better life, and I chose it.

I told hubby of course, my brother, and two besties that live 1500 mi away. I'm nervous about what i'll say as the wt drops. Normally i tell everything!!! Too much!! But this is different. Reasons....what if i chg my mind, what if i fail, dont want to answer a bunch of questions, dnt want to explain i have battled a lifetime of obesity...maybe later i'll chg my mind but right now not planning on telling anyone else.

This is a very good question and one I put a lot of thought into, pre-op and now post-op as well.

I chose to tell noone one at work. Just said I was going on vaca. I work with a lot of mean women. Of my 12 coworkers only one is a man. I probably don't have to tell you how bad it can get when anyone works with a bunch of women. The mean ones get the others going. It's sad actually. I just felt it was right. Maybe a bit ashamed I can't do it on my own. I went so far as to block ANYONE I know from my office building from seeing posts on my FB wall. So I had made my decision on the subject and that was that.

Well, postop (16days) its a completely different story. About a week ago it just came over me how proud I am of myself and my choice to do this. I go back to work tomorrow. I am not telling the world about it but if someone asks, I will tell them. Shoot, all I have to do is tell one woman and the whole office will know. And I am fine with it. I am proud of this choice. I live in my body and I am going to be more comfortable and healthy in it because of the decision I made to take control of a bit of my destiny.

This is not the easy way out, we all know this. Anyone who says so is just ignorant. Ignorant of the whole process. My family has come around. They have seen and witnessed my journey so far. They were skeptical at first but now see how much healthier I am going to be.

It's a completely personal decision only you can make. And don't be surprised if what you THINK you have decided preop changes postop.

You will be proud of yourself too. You just wait and see!!

Best of luck to you. Prayers for a successful procedure and painfree, quick recovery!