I'm scheduled for surgery 10/15 and I'm so confused every day I start out excited and then by evening I change my mind! I live with my boyfriend and I'm not sure if I'm going to even let him know that I am having surgery because he has a hard time lying to people so I know that he would just give it away if someone asked him. So im not going to give him that burden.Not that I'm ashamed I just don't think it's anyone else's business. I'm 29yo nurse and student from NJ.

Try writing down the reasons for having the surgery: improved health, longer life, better quality of life, etc. When you start second-guessing yourself, pull out the list. Only you can decide whether to get the surgery, but that was what helped me decide and stick with it.

Think about your health and research the procedure....then if you are still on the fence, write a letter to yourself explaining why you desire to have this procedure....I actually went to therapy to help me....that along with the help of friends of mine who have had WLS in the past, helped me alot....

Glad I did it, and have no regrets!

I am a big advocate of the sleeve - it has been wonderful for me.

However, I think that a person should really think alot about it before having WLS. You DO need to change your lifestyle I know everybody says it, but do we all really know what that means? That isn't just a blah blah boilerplate, it is really true. Depending on where you are "at" with things, that might be really hard. You may find the first few months post op to be kinda bleck.... low energy, no appetite, really not feeling wonderful. I started out with so much to lose, that no one even noticed until I had lost about 50# - that can feel discouraging.

I had a lapband 11 years ago - had that cursed thing for 10 years, but I learned alot in that process including everything that I did wrong ultimately contributing to it's failure. When I read about people "sliming" and vomiting etc post sleeve I feel that they may not have really learned to eat alot less, to eat slower. To stop before you are "full", I sometimes wonder if people even realize to change the mindset. The goal is NOT "full" it is more like "not hungry."

Anyway, I suggest you don't rush into this. I think you DO need to tell your live in boyfriend as he will need to be a support person in those early weeks.

Even though i had a lapband, I anguished over the decision to try again with a revision to the sleeve for a very long time. As difficult as it was going through that back and forth - "should i or shouldn't I?" it really was a time when I worked alot of stuff out in my head. I think it made it easier for me to comply with the best practices post sleeve.

Good luck whatever you decide!

Thanks everybody!! The thing is I know all this stuff I have been researching for like 5 years!! Did all the pre op in 2009 and then punked out. I said I was going to do this naturally, but of course that never happened. I'm still exactly where I was two years ago.

Good luck in your ruminations. You will figure out the right thing for you.

Did you guys go through this also?

I'm a bit older than you and have experienced the weight loss roller coaster too many times. I too told myself I was going to do it "naturally," and committed to be below 250 by my 50th birthday, from 290. (My all-time high was 330; I reached that twice.) i failed. I told my GP I was interested in WLS and he told me to call Dr. Kim. I finally started in February of this year. My insurance has a 3-month supervised program that must be followed. I took all the lessons on nutrition and eating habits to heart, and lost 30 pounds "on my own" by June. I actually considered cancelling because I had done so well this time. I posted here about my thoughts and was reminded that STRESS is one big factor we cannot control. Looking back on the two previous times I had lost 60-70 pounds, I saw that it WAS a stress event that undid all my work. That sealed the deal for me. What I had done and learned prior to surgery plus my commitment to the goal of being normal weight for the first time IN MY LIFE, coupled with the "tool" of the sleeve has given me the confidence to know I WILL NOT FAIL.

I'm not saying "Yes! Go through with it!" only you can make that decision. You must ask yourself what is most important, and weigh the benefits versus the risks and the sacrifices you MUST make to make this work. Good luck, and I hope you make a decision you can live with. That is the most important thing.

I am having the same feelings that you are having right now. I decided that i was going to continue with my surgery. I think the biggest thing with me is that i don't want people to find out. Well i have decided that i'm doing this for my health FORGET what others have to say. i have tried many years to get the weight off myself and have been unsuccessful at keeping it off. My sister is still telling me what i don't need to do but my mind is made up. THIS IS FOR ME!

Did you guys go through this also?

Not exactly. I was given only nine days notice of the surgery date and went into a panic because I had expected to have a couple more months. The list of reasons to have the surgery was what calmed me down, though. I realized I had no real options.

I am so glad that this topic was brought up. I'm always on here lurking and reading everybody's story, but somewhat afraid to reply... I think a part of the reason is I too am still figuring all this out and am still weighing my options going back and forth... But at the end of the day I always feel like I have already made the decision to move forward .. This process can be so confusing...it took me 3 years to get to the point where I finished all of my appointments and seem more ready to follow through with it than anything. Some days I am totally excited and others I'm afraid.. Leary....I just really wish I had 1 decision and didn't flip flop back and forth I think it's more of a fear than anything.... My doctor/surgeon is actually preparing to submit to Insurance and I may actually be having my surgery done the last week of October or first week of November. This is quite the experience. I was so happy to see this thread because here lately I've been feeling like it's just me being indecisive. One of the things that drives me is the fact that I'm 30 years old but feel like I'm 80... Of course there are so many other reasons but I am probably rambling at this point lol. I haven't spoke up much on here but I am now ready to talk. Thank you all for your stories and I look forward to sharing mine.

Did you guys go through this also?

I can relate to you and you and I are basically the same age.... You sound exactly like me so I'm assuming that people go through this all of the time...this is a serious decision..I totally understand what you're going through that's why I appreciate this forum so much. Not one person on here went through something that someone else didn't. Like you I too need to continue to do some soul searching about what the final decision is going to be. At the end of the day it has to be the best decision for us and we have to make it for our own reasons. I sent Tabby Monroe a request on instagram and would like to follow you as well.... I just couldn't seem to find your name lol. Good luck with everything and I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you.

My surgery is scheduled for 10/5 and I totally get what your saying !! I am the same way but I keep telling myself .. Yes the surgery can be risky but being 31 with type 2 diabetes is too .. I just keep telling my self that the beniefit outweighs the risk ..

I am so glad that this topic was brought up. I'm always on here lurking and reading everybody's story, but somewhat afraid to reply... I think a part of the reason is I too am still figuring all this out and am still weighing my options going back and forth... But at the end of the day I always feel like I have already made the decision to move forward .. This process can be so confusing...it took me 3 years to get to the point where I finished all of my appointments and seem more ready to follow through with it than anything. Some days I am totally excited and others I'm afraid.. Leary....I just really wish I had 1 decision and didn't flip flop back and forth I think it's more of a fear than anything.... My doctor/surgeon is actually preparing to submit to Insurance and I may actually be having my surgery done the last week of October or first week of November. This is quite the experience. I was so happy to see this thread because here lately I've been feeling like it's just me being indecisive. One of the things that drives me is the fact that I'm 30 years old but feel like I'm 80... Of course there are so many other reasons but I am probably rambling at this point lol. I haven't spoke up much on here but I am now ready to talk. Thank you all for your stories and I look forward to sharing mine.

It does seem as though you have decided to do this. From what I have read on this board, for some people the deciding is worse than the surgery! You will do well.

I'm not sure the surgery is all that risky. It is certainly less risky than the severe complications and possible early death from obesity.

I guess my point is , we all chose to have this done for a reason that was important to us and when we start to get anxious we just have to remember what those reasons are