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Sex... Oh My God... Sex!



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Why are there so many women in the guys room?

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@@Stevehud right??? they will see this post and still comment on the thread too..... I respect their room and have never gone and posted in their respective area. one of the issues with the forum...

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Why are there so many women in the guys room?

They are just sneakin a peak..

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This is fabulous. I shouldn't share too much but neither my husband nor I have wanted to do anything like that recently. We love each other very much. We cuddle and kiss and show so much affection, but THAT takes a lot out of two big people who work all the time. I was sleeved on 8/10, and he is eating what I eat. He's not doing the shakes and liquids, but he consumes the same calories and the same grams of Protein. He's lost 10lbs since I started the pre-op diet two weeks ago. Reading this made me feel good not because of the sex but because it solidified what I already knew - sex is hard work, and can be embarassing for a bigger guy. It's not just me. It's both of us. Now he says he wants to be as sexy for me as I will be for him. We've become closer. So, the sleeve can do as much good for healthy relationships as it can tear apart the unhealthy ones.

I really wanted to reply to this. Yes, sex is a LOT of work for a big guy. Ladies, all due respect, but most of the time, sex is all about US doing the work -- abs and core, legs, arms. If you're out of shape, as a guy, sex can absolutely destroy your stamina, and let's face it -- collapsing like a pile of Jello halfway through just ain't sexy. So we try REALLY hard to please y'all, but when you're that heavy, it just ain't going to happen!

Add to this the fact that fat converts testosterone to estrogen (yes, estrogen. Look up lipid aromatization for proof...) and you see a real "double whammy" for us guys emerging; not only are we expected to be nearly machine-like in our movements, with no reaction to the sheer strain and stress of moving 250, 300, 400 pounds of flesh around (not counting the lady!), but our testosterone can dip so low that we have a hard time keeping an erection (and what THAT means, ladies, is that ANY distraction can make "it" go away -- slowing the rhythm, changing position, even just worrying that "oh god, I'm gonna lose it!" And when you're panting and wheezing and worried about having a heart attack (yes, contrary to urban legend, people can and do regularly have heart attacks or strokes during sex), that's a pretty serious distraction. So, for a heavy guy, sex really ain't much FUN! We want to do it to keep our lady friends happy, and sure, it FEELS good, but it also feels like we're gonna die, it's a race against the clock with whether Mr. Happy will keep playing along, and a lot of times those negatives outweigh (heh) the positives.

Now, switch to skinny sex. My muscles are MORE than capable of hauling my carcass around and doing ALL sorts of interesting positional things. Sure, I sweat and breathe hard in the throes of passion, but my heart and lungs are healthy and I have a ton of stamina, so I'm not worried some artery is going to explode. And best of all, because my testosterone MORE THAN DOUBLED without drugs, just by losing the weight, my libido is crazy -- that one hormone makes ALL the difference between just being caught up in my head and worrying about how I'm going to "perform" and getting utterly, absolutely lost in the moment. And that is so insanely sexy. Apparently for both of us!

So yes, ladies, if you want a better love life, definitely lose weight, but get your guy to lose weight too. You will NOT regret it!

How much weight did you lose before this stuff kicked in?

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@@Mulepick - It varies, but as you start losing quickly many hormones are dumped out of the fat and flood your system...see http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/343777-guys-room-is-everyone-else-overly-emotional-or-am-i-just-an-ae/

Strangely I was feeling it the first week with a vegence

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This could have gone here or You know you lost weight when ...But I'll keep in the guys room

When you can have sex in the back of your car at 52, just because you can...yes!!!!

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Where's the guy's room?

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Down 173lbs since January, sleeved 7/13. Can not wait to take this new chassis out to the test track! Best thread ever lol!

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OK guys, I know up until now you have been reading thread thinking how awesome it is or will be. It's not. I'm tired. Just tired... I'm only a man, not a machine. I literally have lied to my wife and said that I had to get up early the next day, or I have a headache, or my back is spasming... anything to get some sleep at night.

I feel like a piece a meat. Sometimes I just want to be held, is that so wrong?!

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@@BigViffer - Umm, sounds like a hormone dump. Are you crying watching chick flicks?

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No. Well, not anymore. But that did happen in the beginning!

What I am referring to however is that my wife cannot keep her hands off me. At all. My god man, I'm chafing!

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No. Well, not anymore. But that did happen in the beginning!

What I am referring to however is that my wife cannot keep her hands off me. At all. My god man, I'm chafing!

I feel your pain. I'm in love with a woman who does marathons for fun and is planning on doing the Kona Tri. Oh well, pass the lube and soldier on my friend. A man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do. Lie back, think of England and all that. ;-)

Edited by OKCPirate

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I'm slowly getting back into a somewhat normal for me sex routine. I have had sex twice within the last 6 days which isn't bad, but I would honestly like to have had it 6 times within the last 6 days. But yeah what I have learned is that my stamina has indeed returned to pre-surgery form. Before the surgery, sex was the only physical activity I could do for very long periods of time and be happy about it. Now I can easily do about 35 to 40 minutes of intense cardio and feel good. Would rather be having sex, but hey a work out is a work out.

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How many men have routinely checked their testosterone levels checked throughout their weight loss? I ask because I was on TRT before surgery and have worked with my urologist to helped maintain levels to help me keep the most lean muscle possible. I'm 42 (almost 43) and almost a month post VSG.

I include this in this post because of it's inextricable effects on libido and sex life.

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