Yesterday food as anything more than nutrition. The opportunity cost, the trade-off of having my stomach reduced in order to lose weight, is that I can no longer satisfy the void(s) in my life with food.

I should rejoice, yes? This is what I wanted so desperately, right? Now I finally have a tool to help me lose weight. So why should I even consider a loss of anything other than pounds??

For anyone who does not struggle with food addiction and over-eating, this is probably incomprehensible. But to anyone who can relate, to anyone considering taking the so-called easy way out (i.e., weight loss surgery), this is definitely something to consider.Mexico for weight loss surgery, and counseling was not offered.

Psst!!! I didn't really think I needed it anyway.

But now, as the days go by and I continue to heal and get back to living life, I find that the thing that used to provide a source of comfort/peace/familiarity/companionship is gone. I mentioned before that it's kind of like mourning the loss of something or someone, and it is so true! I find that now I have a lot of free time, because what I used to do just doesn't work anymore. I can't watch TV and really plug into it like I used to. I didn't know the food I was eating while watching TV was such a huge factor.

Don't get me wrong. I am so glad I had the surgery. I don't regret it at all, because with it I can change my life. But that doesn't change the fact that, without food, I feel a little lost. I'm out here on my own now. My old friend Food, is gone. And while that is most certainly what I wanted, I didn't consider the opportunity cost of not having that scapegoat.

So what do I do now?? I ask myself. Living a Redux Life is about more than lip service. Now that I don't have my food crutch to lean on, I have to stand on my own two feet. And that's...scary. I now have to face my life, rather than be numb to it.

And I want to! Yet at the same time, I don't want to...

The opportunity cost of having weight loss surgery is that if food has meaning in your life other than nutrition--and let's face it, if we only used food for nutrition we wouldn't be in this situation--then you MUST do the work of evaluating how you will navigate your world once you don't have that source of comfort.

What will you do when you are uneasy with your surroundings? Eat slider foods? Start consuming more alcohol? Or will you finally get your head and heart in the game and do the work to resolve your issues?

If you can answer those questions BEFORE surgery, then perhaps the opportunity cost won't be so high. And maybe this "tool" won't feel so much like a hammer, but more like a massage.

Impressive. I never thought of things this way. Thank you.

Very thoughtful and well written! I totally agree...it is easy to only look at the exciting aspects of getting our new tool without slowing down to think about how we will cope with the negative aspects of it.

Thanks for re-posting, definitely "food" for thought. I have not had my surgery yet but it makes me think what will I do when my "friend" is not in my life as it was before. It is a reality check. I will see the impact of my food addiction. Wow. Enlightening. I have a higher awareness. I love this site, I always take away something good each time I am on it. It is like I read the right thing for me at the right time. Thanks!!!!

Wonderful post and very true! I can't wait to see you progress! God Bless and God Speed with your weight loss journey!

I have read about substituting addictions and how some who have had bariatric surgery are prone to this. I don't anticipate turning to alchol because it was never a big part of my life before. I have given some thought to refocus my activities and revel in a better quality of life. I admit that I am a workoholic, so there are projects I can throw myself into. I do need to come to terms with becoming more active physically. I have told myself this will be easier once my knees and ankles don't hurt anymore and I can move without losing breath.

Excellent post, Carla!

At two years out, though, I can say that I'm now in a healthy relationship with my food. It is possible to eat for pleasure, without overeating or overindulging. I can now walk that line without the temptation to tip over into the danger zone. For at least a year, food was merely sustenance. I hated eating. But as I healed, lost weight and most importantly, dealt with my emotional baggage and the bad habits that caused the fat in the first place, I found that it's okay to like food and enjoy eating without lusting after food.

I had a very sinful relationship with food prior to surgery, for sure! Lust is exactly the right word for my old food relationship. A lust-hate relationship, quite the passionate thing!

In any case, thank you for addressing the need for counseling. You are currently mourning the loss of your best coping mechanism, your constant friend and something you really enjoyed doing. Feeling a bit lost while you find a new way to cope is completely normal.

You might enjoy reading Hungry by Allen Zadoff. He didn't have surgery, but he was an emotional overeater. I enjoyed the read, mostly because it took less than an hour of my time and pointed out some of my own behaviors that I was completely in denial about prior to surgery.

You are doing a fantastic job. Not just on your loss but on the head work. When you reach goal, you will not feel that void any longer. You will be a happier and healthier person, physically and mentally.

Thanks for a great post, I really enjoyed this one.

~Cheri

Macroeconomics for WLS folks- should be a course in WLS 101 lol! Excellent post! I think a lot of us who have this surgery may not consider how much we use food as a crutch in our lives. This surgery is done on our stomachs not our brains. I'm still pre op and I honestly do fear this. Food has been my best friend for 23 years, and I know it's going to be hard to 'break up' with it. It's the longest and most toxic relationship I've ever had in my life and it's going to be hard to break. Food needs to be fuel not fun. It's something I've always had a problem with. But is the cost worth it? I think it's something we all need to ask ourselves. Thank you for this post!

I just had my psych eval yesterday and almost ready to submit to insurance. The bariatric coordinator told they usually get an answer in three days. At first, I was internally elated, then fearful and sad.

Could I be afraid of loosing food as a friend and the only unhealthy me I have known so long? Why would I want to hang on to the old me that has caused me physical pain and emotional embarrassment?

This was just yesterday.... I am still thinking...

Loved your post thanks!

Excellent piece Carla. Prior to surgery I only thought about all of the good results that WLS would bring. I had never even thought about the intense food mourning that I would experience - and am still experiencing now. Anyone who says that WLS is an easy way out is wayyyyy wrong. They have no idea! This is by far the hardest thing I have done in my entire life.

CLK thank you so much for this post - and all of your posts for that matter. You give me hope!

Good luck to everyone!

Macroeconomics for WLS folks- should be a course in WLS 101 lol! Excellent post! I think a lot of us who have this surgery may not consider how much we use food as a crutch in our lives. This surgery is done on our stomachs not our brains. I'm still pre op and I honestly do fear this. Food has been my best friend for 23 years' date=' and I know it's going to be hard to 'break up' with it. It's the longest and most toxic relationship I've ever had in my life and it's going to be hard to break. Food needs to be fuel not fun. It's something I've always had a problem with. But is the cost worth it? I think it's something we all need to ask ourselves. Thank you for this post![/quote']

Right there with u.

Thanks for re-posting, definitely "food" for thought. I have not had my surgery yet but it makes me think what will I do when my "friend" is not in my life as it was before. It is a reality check. I will see the impact of my food addiction. Wow. Enlightening. I have a higher awareness. I love this site, I always take away something good each time I am on it. It is like I read the right thing for me at the right time. Thanks!!!!

Thank you. The preop-er's are why I wrote this.

I have read about substituting addictions and how some who have had bariatric surgery are prone to this. I don't anticipate turning to alchol because it was never a big part of my life before. I have given some thought to refocus my activities and revel in a better quality of life. I admit that I am a workoholic, so there are projects I can throw myself into. I do need to come to terms with becoming more active physically. I have told myself this will be easier once my knees and ankles don't hurt anymore and I can move without losing breath.

I said the same thing. Only now I can move better and I still find excuses not to hit the gym. Not saying you will, just saying. It's a lot of work to change. Period.

Excellent post, Carla!

At two years out, though, I can say that I'm now in a healthy relationship with my food. It is possible to eat for pleasure, without overeating or overindulging. I can now walk that line without the temptation to tip over into the danger zone. For at least a year, food was merely sustenance. I hated eating. But as I healed, lost weight and most importantly, dealt with my emotional baggage and the bad habits that caused the fat in the first place, I found that it's okay to like food and enjoy eating without lusting after food.

I had a very sinful relationship with food prior to surgery, for sure! Lust is exactly the right word for my old food relationship. A lust-hate relationship, quite the passionate thing!

In any case, thank you for addressing the need for counseling. You are currently mourning the loss of your best coping mechanism, your constant friend and something you really enjoyed doing. Feeling a bit lost while you find a new way to cope is completely normal.

You might enjoy reading Hungry by Allen Zadoff. He didn't have surgery, but he was an emotional overeater. I enjoyed the read, mostly because it took less than an hour of my time and pointed out some of my own behaviors that I was completely in denial about prior to surgery.

You are doing a fantastic job. Not just on your loss but on the head work. When you reach goal, you will not feel that void any longer. You will be a happier and healthier person, physically and mentally.

Thanks for a great post, I really enjoyed this one.

~Cheri

Thank you for posting. I need to see that there is hope and that I will adjust. Every day gets better...but it is a struggle.

I just had my psych eval yesterday and almost ready to submit to insurance. The bariatric coordinator told they usually get an answer in three days. At first, I was internally elated, then fearful and sad.

Could I be afraid of loosing food as a friend and the only unhealthy me I have known so long? Why would I want to hang on to the old me that has caused me physical pain and emotional embarrassment?

This was just yesterday.... I am still thinking...

Loved your post thanks!

You're asking the questions. Questions I didn't ask myself beforehand. You'll be find, and now you are more aware.

Excellent piece Carla. Prior to surgery I only thought about all of the good results that WLS would bring. I had never even thought about the intense food mourning that I would experience - and am still experiencing now. Anyone who says that WLS is an easy way out is wayyyyy wrong. They have no idea! This is by far the hardest thing I have done in my entire life.

CLK thank you so much for this post - and all of your posts for that matter. You give me hope!

Good luck to everyone!

Ditto!