Self Destructive Behaviors

[aleach0003 12]

Over the past two weeks I have all but stopped going to the gym and I've been eating crap. I went to the dollar general this morning and bought chips, dip, and mini candy bars. Why am I doing this to myself?

I feel like crap afterward but the compulsion to buy the stuff and eat it was more powerful than my willpower to overcome.

It makes me wonder if I'll even be successful post sleeve.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I really like that your looking at this behavior. If you have a compulsion to buy that crap, then when you get home, throw it in the trash and have a healthy snack like fresh fruit or a Protein Drink. You can do this. It is really important that you seek therapy to help with this compulsion. In therapy, you can learn new coping skills to deal with your triggers to eat crap! BTW, go through your house and trash all unhealthy food ASAP. Get on a path of healthy eating and become compulsive about that. you can do this, you just need some extra help from a professional.

[aleach0003 12]

Thank you. . I actually am seeing a therapist. I try not to get too upset with myself when I make mistakes because this is a journey on so many levels. I guess I'm just frustrated with myself because instead really buckling down and getting everything in order the month before surgery, I'm going in the complete opposite direction.

[Bigdogkc 53]

Thank you. . I actually am seeing a therapist. I try not to get too upset with myself when I make mistakes because this is a journey on so many levels. I guess I'm just frustrated with myself because instead really buckling down and getting everything in order the month before surgery, I'm going in the complete opposite direction.

The head doc i met with said that most over weight people are "all or nothing" type people. I know that resonated with me, because in the past when I cheated on a diet, I just said, the heck with this, and kept eating poorly. He said that I need to forget about the times I slip up, and concentrate on making the good decision 80-90% of the time. That way the 10-20% that I chose badly will not hurt me. Not sure if that will be helpfull for you, but it hits home with me.

Don't forget that we are all human and none of us are perfect, nor will we ever be. If you make the right choice the majority of the time, then you will come out on top!!

Good luck!

[Pookeyism 1,143]

You have done something to trigger an old habit. We are all about the "cue", which is then the activity, and the reward...

Read "The Power of Habit". I am so not kidding. I knew all of this stuff, I was familiar wit who "E" was - and yet this book is hitting me like a ton of bricks...A ton of old, bad behaviors....

[Wheetsin 714]

In your therapy, have you ever focused on the reward of being fat? (I understand that might be a private question, so please consider it rhetorical).

Most of us who are fat enough to really need WLS get something out of being fat. People hate it when I say that because they misinterpret it as "You want to be fat" but it's not a conscious want so much as a subconcious need. If we had no reason to be fat, we wouldn't be fat. What we're getting out of being fat is still ranking higher in our consciousness than what we get out of being thin, or this wouldn't be the truggle that it is. What most fat people get out of being fat is control. And a really common trigger to a reversion of behavior is something that makes you feel out of control.

[aleach0003 12]

Thanks to everyone for their words. It means a lot.

Therapy is covering everything from issues with me trying to live up to others standards to the relationship I have with my mom. I'm sure I will bring this up at my next appointment.

After a day of reflection, I've realized I have got to be more prepared. I am not a cook and I go for convenience. Lack of available food in my house set me up to stop and justify getting crap to eat-- it was quick and simple.

Weight loss is a journey. And With any trip, you're bound to take a few wrong turns. But if you keep reading the map (or listening to the gps) you'll eventually get to your destination. That's what I've got to keep telling myself.

[adrimc26 7]

Thanks to everyone for their words. It means a lot.

Therapy is covering everything from issues with me trying to live up to others standards to the relationship I have with my mom. I'm sure I will bring this up at my next appointment.

After a day of reflection' date=' I've realized I have got to be more prepared. I am not a cook and I go for convenience. Lack of available food in my house set me up to stop and justify getting crap to eat-- it was quick and simple.

Weight loss is a journey. And With any trip, you're bound to take a few wrong turns. But if you keep reading the map (or listening to the gps) you'll eventually get to your destination. That's what I've got to keep telling myself.[/quote']

As I tell everybody who see me eat a cookie once in a while and roll their eyes at me " I had stomach surgery NOT brain surgery" I have those moments too. As an advise I'm on the go most of the time so I know how hard it is or sometimes I just don't feel like cooking so I buy lean cuisine or smart ones. They have good portions and fill u up, whatever works just don't give up on yourself. Because its easier to deal with weight issues than emotional ones and pailling them up might not be a good idea. Good luck

[weight_no_longer 64]

Over the past two weeks I have all but stopped going to the gym and I've been eating crap. I went to the dollar general this morning and bought chips' date=' dip, and mini candy bars. Why am I doing this to myself?

I feel like crap afterward but the compulsion to buy the stuff and eat it was more powerful than my willpower to overcome.

It makes me wonder if I'll even be successful post sleeve.[/quote']

Im doing this also... why cant I be more in control? grrrrr! angry at myself!

[former_vbg 198]

Something else I would like to bring up. What everyone else has said is important, but several people pre-surgery go through what they call "food funerals". The idea being that in our head we have this perception "I will never be able to eat this food ever again.... so I'm going to indulge while I can...".

I did this in a big and bad way and because I had no pre-op diet and no pre-surgery diet other than 12 hrs before surgery, I gained 20# before I had my surgery once I had my surgery date. Do I regret it? Yes and No.... Would it mean 20# less to lose once I had the surgery, yes. But, I feel like I got it out of my system enough that once I crossed the line over (having surgery), that I was ready to focus on the next chapter of my life. Now, that worked for me.

The more healthier approach is to get your head straight before you go into surgery. But, bottomline I would bet that part of what you are going through is the food funeral stage. You are working with a therapist and I'm sure you will do just fine.

[likedemapples 0]

You have done something to trigger an old habit. We are all about the "cue", which is then the activity, and the reward...

Read "The Power of Habit". I am so not kidding. I knew all of this stuff, I was familiar wit who "E" was - and yet this book is hitting me like a ton of bricks...A ton of old, bad behaviors....

Thanks for the suggestion. I seem to have a bit of a habit forming personality. I was able to quite smoking using The Easy Way to Stop Smoking book by Allen Carr. This book could be exactly what I need to kick some other bad habits and form some new good ones.

[canidothis? 16]

I found THE EMOTIONAL FIRST+AID KIT: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery to be very helpful. The author is Cynthia Alexander.

[likedemapples 0]

I found THE EMOTIONAL FIRST+AID KIT: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery to be very helpful. The author is Cynthia Alexander.

Thanks to you as well. I will try to find that one too.