I was raised to always take people as they come, and to think about a person's kindness or intelligence before I think about the way they look.

We've all encountered people out there who are prejudiced and bigoted against those who are big-bodied, but what happens when those same people all of a sudden fall all over themselves to talk to you, get to know you, hook up with you, etc., just because you're thin?

I dislike prejudice of any kind, even when I'm on the "positive" end of someone's prejudice.

Those of you who have lost weight, have you noticed a positive difference in the way you've been treated in public? By waiters and waitresses, by shop assistants in clothing shops, by people on the bus, people at school or work? How do you keep yourself from resenting them for it?

@butterthebean, I LOVE itLOL

I personally have not had self esteem issues.

I'm still the same me, whether Im a size 16 or a size 6. I'm the same confident, caring nurse you get every day! It other people's perception.

I'm keeping a mental note to who is naughty and nice, Ha. It's sad but true, that people do judge people on what they look like or what they wear etc. I was raised to see the good in folks, no matter what. I just thank all the " haters" and float by on my little cloud, just happy as heck to look AND feel good. It has nothing to do with them, after all

All you Sleevers are awesome, best group of folks ever!!

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How do I not hold resentment? Because I know that is their problem not mine. I wouldn't benefit being negative over a situation I can't control. I can only control how I respond, and I choose to respond in no way. I simply say thank you, smile and move on.

Excellent take on this. I hope I get to that place myself, because I have no desire to bring myself down with negative emotions over people's reaction to me that I can't control!

Let's get some shirts made that say "FORMER FATTY SO F*** OFF".

Or is that too strong?

I'm feeling my oates today.

I LOVE that!

Oh i so want one of those shirts!!!! lol

I am about 6 weeks out so can not really relate to this right now....but....9 years ago I lost 80 pounds (found 'em) and was treated differently....it hurt, having people "see" me when i was size 14 but never noticed me when size 26-28....i was the same person, but i guess some people think if a person is obese, they must also be dumb. Sad but true, people can be cruel, ignorant and insensitive.

The thing that I notice most is when I go to get on the train to commute home. A year ago, I would say I had about a 25% chance of having to wait for the next train because the train was packed. The doors would open and people would look at me like, "Yeah, right ... you're not getting on this train." So, at least once a week I would have to wait. Now, that I am "thin", even when the train is packed, people step aside or squish together to make room for me. I haven't had to wait for the next train in months. Not once. This isn't a sign of attitude adjustment on my behalf ... there isn't enough time. That door flies open and I start to move on. Before, I was met with a solid wall of people. Now, they smile at me and perhaps make a joke as they make room.

But I do agree there are things that are definitely attitude related. As I walk down the street women smile back at me and even initiate a, "Hello". I know that I am carrying myself more confidently and have a smile on my face. I am more approachable, I am sure. Plus ... maybe a little cuter, too. Who knows. Bottom line is things are different. For whatever reason, I am treated better "thin" than I was "thick".

Oh, and put me down for a size medium when you print out those shirts.

Let's get some shirts made that say "FORMER FATTY SO F*** OFF".

Or is that too strong?

I'm feeling my oates today.

Love it!!!! I will buy a couple!

Love it!!!! I will buy a couple!

I'm only 5 weeks post op and not yet a former fatty. Somebody remind me this time next year and I'll get some for sure, if no one beats me to it.

I have noticed a profound difference from the ladies. I guess being a former typical fat sweaty guy dressed sort of sloppily in loose crappy clothes to a slim thin guy dressed somehwat better.

The other day I was biking on our city trail and stopped to discuss a problem with some people, one gal in particular kept standing near me as I prattled on about the issue, her eyes kept wandering over my frame especially on my legs, which are now a tad muscular looking now. She wasn't listening to a word I was saying and was obviously letting her mind "wander" It was a novel feeling.

I've noticed that waitresses now seem more interested in me too, and always have a comment about how little I eat, especially as they bring a to-go box to pack up my extras. They seem more willing to chat with me now rather than take my order and leave as soon as they can.

I've seen womens eyes wander over my frame and the little lift of their brows a few times. It kinda - feels good and yet seems kind of creepy at the same time. It's definatly something I am not used to. Strangly it comes mostly from younger women, some of which I could be a father too, if not a grand-dad. The fact is that we are all creatures chained to our basic biological imperitives and sex is one of the strongest drives.

I'm sorry Rootman- what did you say?

I was too busy staring at your picture. :wub:

Hey Marty, my eyes are up HERE

Just remember, you are probably acting different too.

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I know from experience that we (overweight people) are treated differently. And I can say that I actually purposefully put on 150+lbs so that I would be ignored!...how crazy ass backwards is that!?! I made such horrible decisions in choosing men....so when the last one broke my heart and nearly destroyed me, I put on my "fat suit" so I would be ignored by men and that way it wouldn't have to be my decision anymore. I absolutely succeed 100% in that men especially do not give eye contact...I feel the pity smiles from women but for the most part feel ignored. I have been on both sides and now that I trust myself I can't wait to get back to people paying attention and being noticed. However I do feel it's human nature - our minds make assumption/decisions in a blink, before we even know why we reacted the way we did....we are all "programmed", especially in this society to associate attractive/ thin with positive and fat/overweight with negative.

Yes, some people will treat you differently when you're thin. I decided not to waste time or energy worrying about that--in fact, when it happens to me, I go out of my way to say "hello" to someone who is "invisible" like I used to be in society. Just a simple smile or quick "hello" or "how's it going?"--no big deal, but I know how it feels to not be taken seriously or not be really thought about at all--and yes, that was by my choice, exactly as cantwaittolose above said, but it is still hurtful.

I think in the end that's about all we can really do that's a positive response--just try to treat everyone the way we would want to be treated, no matter what our size, like we are there, we matter, our opinions and thoughts and feelings matter, and we're all in it together. Doesn't require anything huge or earth-shaking, and we can maybe be the agents of the change we want to see.

I've definitely noticed it. Cashiers, salespeople, people in general are more friendly now. I think that people can be uncomfortable around a really heavy person so they don't make eye contact or talk any more than they have to. Sort of like how some people are uncomfortable around a disabled person maybe. They don't know how to act or where to look or what to say. Now I'm more "normal" in appearance they seem more at ease around me.