Feeling No Support

[mrsflyboybs 62]

I found that my "larger" friends didn't support my decision at all, saying it was too dangerous and why give up food and "suffer"? I chose to keep telling people and plaster my weight loss all over my Facebook. Not the pounds I lost but the little things that us "larger people" forget we can't do, like crossing our legs or tying our shoes without our tummies in the way. For me, I feel more empowered talking about it, it removes the stigma and hopefully people will see that its not the easy way out, w put a lot of work into it!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I found that my "larger" friends didn't support my decision at all' date=' saying it was too dangerous and why give up food and "suffer"? I chose to keep telling people and plaster my weight loss all over my Facebook. Not the pounds I lost but the little things that us "larger people" forget we can't do, like crossing our legs or tying our shoes without our tummies in the way. For me, I feel more empowered talking about it, it removes the stigma and hopefully people will see that its not the easy way out, w put a lot of work into it![/quote']

I feel the same as you. I'll tell anybody. I don't see any reason to live a lie. I want my friends to support me but if they don't then I know what kind of friends they are....or aren't. I'm not gonna keep secrets because other people may or may not be comfortable with the way I choose to live my life. I'm trying to get healthy and live longer. Would these people rather I die young from a heart attack? My friends and family know I'm gonna do what I think a right regardless of what they say. I don't need them to be my cheerleaders, i just need them to accept my decision.

And I think what you said about removing the stigma is right on. Hiding something magnifies the stigma. Putting it right out in the open and saying "live with it world" just makes it a non issue. Then everyone can get on with life.

[ladyarwenrose 14]

ChristyLove....it may just depend on the community your in? I have several african-american friends that know i'm going for this and they are supportive of it. not sure if that's because i'm white?

Ssilian....I agree, I have stopped telling people. although my best friend, my boyfriend, and the 8 co-workers that know are very supportive my entire family is not. Mom even told me that if she could come over and FORCE me not to do it she would. I'm 36 years old. it's my body, my decision, my health. Although it hurts to not have their support I am not going to let that stop me. If I do it will be me who suffers for it.

Basically I would recommend that you keep in mind why it is you are doing this in the first place. when people are negative to me I remind myself that i'm doing this for my health. I already have IBS, GERD, Swollen legs, Arthritis throughout my body, A hearniated disc and another that is bone on bone in my lower spine, and now my hips and both knees are starting to give me major problems. it's to the point that I cannot do any exercise and have an extremely hard time getting up the stairs to my apartment. And i'm pretty sure it's making my depression, anxiety, and even my bipolar worse. So long story short, i'm doing this for my health....before my body kills me! To me that is the strongest motivator and the best reason to be doing this.

Stay strong, you can do this! And you can always find the support you need here, i have

[viana1 16]

I was told that people who get wls look sickly and are less healthy than people who are fat (I don't agree). It made me sad to not be supported but what can I do. I gain more and more as each year passes. I don't want to see how much weight I can put on this body.

[Ready4success 380]

I was told that people who get wls look sickly and are less healthy than people who are fat (I don't agree). It made me sad to not be supported but what can I do. I gain more and more as each year passes. I don't want to see how much weight I can put on this body.

As a nurse, I've seen my share of both. I've seen healthy, thriving WLS post-op patients, and I've seen frail, sickly looking ones too. I don't know the why or the hows in the difference of appearances, but people have surgery everyday and sometimes don't bounce back as well as everybody else. I think of WLS as a chance at a better life, that comes with risks, but what's the alternative? There are healthy looking fat people (usually not for long) and there are sickly looking skinny people. I'd still rather be the sickly looking skinny person.

[JenniJune 79]

My response to "easy way out" is this: Undergoing major surgery, spending the rest of my life eating under 1000 calories a day, and STILL having to diet and exercise is easy?? I'd hate to see the hard way!!

In all seriousness, I've actually been pretty blessed with the support I've gotten. But there will always be ignorant haters out there. You're going to be healthy, and if they don't understand that, well, brush 'em off!

[jazzyjay 33]

Other than my husband and son' date=' I have only told my bestie and some long time close friends that have issues similar to me. We have all struggled together over the years, I am the first of my small group of friends to do this and will most likely not be the last! Other than that, it's not really anyone's business! My father is severely overweight- more so than me- I want him to see that it can be done, and maybe he will follow suit. I have chosen not to tell him at this time. I know he would be supportive, but we only really see each other a few times a year, and I want him to SEE the change first![/quote']

It's great that u can be an inspiration for your father's weight loss while u get healthy.

[jazzyjay 33]

I feel the same as you. I'll tell anybody. I don't see any reason to live a lie. I want my friends to support me but if they don't then I know what kind of friends they are....or aren't. I'm not gonna keep secrets because other people may or may not be comfortable with the way I choose to live my life. I'm trying to get healthy and live longer. Would these people rather I die young from a heart attack? My friends and family know I'm gonna do what I think a right regardless of what they say. I don't need them to be my cheerleaders' date=' i just need them to accept my decision.

And I think what you said about removing the stigma is right on. Hiding something magnifies the stigma. Putting it right out in the open and saying "live with it world" just makes it a non issue. Then everyone can get on with life.[/quote']

Amen

[jazzyjay 33]

ChristyLove....it may just depend on the community your in? I have several african-american friends that know i'm going for this and they are supportive of it. not sure if that's because i'm white?

Ssilian....I agree' date=' I have stopped telling people. although my best friend, my boyfriend, and the 8 co-workers that know are very supportive my entire family is not. Mom even told me that if she could come over and FORCE me not to do it she would. I'm 36 years old. it's my body, my decision, my health. Although it hurts to not have their support I am not going to let that stop me. If I do it will be me who suffers for it.

Basically I would recommend that you keep in mind why it is you are doing this in the first place. when people are negative to me I remind myself that i'm doing this for my health. I already have IBS, GERD, Swollen legs, Arthritis throughout my body, A hearniated disc and another that is bone on bone in my lower spine, and now my hips and both knees are starting to give me major problems. it's to the point that I cannot do any exercise and have an extremely hard time getting up the stairs to my apartment. And i'm pretty sure it's making my depression, anxiety, and even my bipolar worse. So long story short, i'm doing this for my health....before my body kills me! To me that is the strongest motivator and the best reason to be doing this.

Stay strong, you can do this! And you can always find the support you need here, i have [/quote']

Thanks, this definitely helps

[jazzyjay 33]

Everyones so kind and supportive here. I want to thank everyone for posted too. I just did my psych eval in fl.. live in atlanta ...yesterday. This am I got a call from Delta UHC ins that I am approved. I am elated!

Congrats! !

[jazzyjay 33]

I went to the WLS seminar yesterday. One of the surgeons in the group I have chosen did all the speaking. first thing out of his mouth' date=' "diets do not work!". then he said that for women, obesity shaves 9 years off their lives and 12 years for men. him saying that reassured me I was doing the right thing. you have to have some kind of support system in place to succeed, but those who are opposed to it are not very informed about it either. it's taken me over 3 yrs to come to the decision of having this done. I have done my research. until those people understand the process, do not let their lack of support deter you.....let it DRIVE you! good luck and God bless.

oh, I am also only telling a select few of loved ones know about my decision. it's no one's business. they are entitled to their opinion, but that is all it is....an opinion.[/quote']

Wow, i didnt know about those stats. That is very scary and motivating at the same time.

[jazzyjay 33]

Jazzplay

I had people 2 tell me not 2. I have Pcos. This surgery will be good for me. People always say ur not big. I don't care what people say about me. As long as I have my husbands support and Gods thats all I need. I stop telling people too. I only told those friends and family members who support me.

I would not listen 2 them. YOU deserve 2 take care of yourself.

I don't know you but Im happy for you.

Thank u !

[jazzyjay 33]

Hang in there girl! Everyone is telling me the same thing but I'm doin ME!! They don't know what we go through on a daily basis bein overweight. They are clueless to know how it feels inside to wanna be thin. Stay focused an always know that no one will ever love U more than U!! My surgery is in a week' date=' sooo excited![/quote']

Praying that all goes well with your surgery

[jazzyjay 33]

Hang in there girl! Everyone is telling me the same thing but I'm doin ME!! They don't know what we go through on a daily basis bein overweight. They are clueless to know how it feels inside to wanna be thin. Stay focused an always know that no one will ever love U more than U!! My surgery is in a week' date=' sooo excited![/quote']

Praying that all goes well with your surgery

[pooh 31]

Girl we all here they told me the same thing... If you feel like you need to do it do it for yourself..