Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Anyone Ever Lost Friends After Knowing You Were Getting The Surgery?



Recommended Posts

The fallout keeps coming for me. My (almost) sister in law has been mad at me for over a month. Apparently when I invited my brother to the family reunion that was held in July, I didn't invite SIL and her kids separately. We live in FL and the reunion was held in KY. I assumed that my brother would invite her himself if he wanted her to go to the reunion with him. Turns out he didnt' come anyway, but she texted me a few days before the reunion to tell me how angry she was at me over my "not inviting" her to the reunion. After rolling my eyes, I told her what was stated above. She told me that I didn't have to be rude about it and I just said Oh Well to the whole deal, figuring it was neurotic crap.

Fast forward to tonight, over a month later, and she sent me another text message about how rude and nasty I am and how no one wants to read my WLS updates, or about my diet or exercise, so she's deleted me on Facebook. Honestly, I hadn't even noticed that she deleted me. I simply asked her if her eyes were green and tried to end the convo. It's been several hours of nasty messages from her today, with my replies being an occasional "I'm sorry you're jealous. Have a good day."

The last message was a voicemail telling me how I'm so nasty and ugly that, even with weight loss, I'll need a pork chop around my neck to get any male attention.

I guess that sometimes you can't win, no matter what you do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The fallout keeps coming for me. My (almost) sister in law has been mad at me for over a month. Apparently when I invited my brother to the family reunion that was held in July, I didn't invite SIL and her kids separately. We live in FL and the reunion was held in KY. I assumed that my brother would invite her himself if he wanted her to go to the reunion with him. Turns out he didnt' come anyway, but she texted me a few days before the reunion to tell me how angry she was at me over my "not inviting" her to the reunion. After rolling my eyes, I told her what was stated above. She told me that I didn't have to be rude about it and I just said Oh Well to the whole deal, figuring it was neurotic crap.

Fast forward to tonight, over a month later, and she sent me another text message about how rude and nasty I am and how no one wants to read my WLS updates, or about my diet or exercise, so she's deleted me on Facebook. Honestly, I hadn't even noticed that she deleted me. I simply asked her if her eyes were green and tried to end the convo. It's been several hours of nasty messages from her today, with my replies being an occasional "I'm sorry you're jealous. Have a good day."

The last message was a voicemail telling me how I'm so nasty and ugly that, even with weight loss, I'll need a pork chop around my neck to get any male attention.

I guess that sometimes you can't win, no matter what you do.

WOW Weee, congrats on handling that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow Lissa, she sounds extremely immature also. What is it about us changing ourselves for our own betterment (is that a word?) that affects other people? Last I checked, I did this for me, not anyone else, so why do they act so ugly towards us about it, as though we did this to THEM or to piss them off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow Lissa' date=' your SIL is a B**ch, point blank.[/quote']

AGREED! With family like that, who needs enemies?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks, ladies! I was leaning towards thinking she is immature and bi*#$y, but she's the second defector in the last few months. Isn't it strange that they get insecure and act dumb, yet I'm the one who is mean, nasty and stupid. @@ It's good to know I'm not the only one who thinks this petty stuff is just dumb. :)

I'm seeing signs that one more "good friend" is going to follow this same pattern and I've tried to head it off at the pass. We'll see if it helps. If not, I'll be working out alone. My workout partner, who has not had WLS, is constantly making comments about how she's having to "work harder for (her) goals" because I have had WLS.

As far as I can tell, I sweat just as much on the elliptical as she does and I spend as much, or more, time in the gym than she does. My only advantage is that I'm able to turn down second helpings of things much easier than she can.

I need a workout partner who has had WLS! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Besides finding a workout partner that has had weightloss surgery you need true people on your side that won't hate on you or have anything negative to say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

KiKi, I will be having my surgery on the 30th also. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have 2 friends from high school. We are 55 yrs. old. We just go to eat together oh every couple of weeks and have vacationed together. I told them I was thinking of being sleeved and said to them that they probably won't want hang out with me anymore once i have it done. Guess what they said? NOTHING! They just looked at each other as if they already discussed it and said nothing. I was very disappointed to say the least. They are also heavy and want nothing to do with this at all for themselves. I'm just sorry and know what will happen. I know this will be the best for me. Just wish I could get my family gun Ho about this. Got to do this for me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope that you won't experience it as well, Song bird. It's sad, but it's not our fault. :(

Littlebits

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×