So, I got a text message from my DH last night (and that doesn't mean Dear anything!). Text message said, basically, "File our divorce papers now!"

We've been separated since June. I came home from the hospital June 3 on 3 kinds of oxygen. He got ticked because I didn't know what was for dinner that night @@ and broke every dish in our house. I moved out a few days later.

I've been doing everything I know how to a. get healthier mentally and physically and b. have even gone to marriage counseling with him, which was useless because he thinks everything is ALL my fault.

He's an alcoholic, which he hid from me till after we got married. Now he's in full bloom again.

I guess we just weren't meant to be. So, to keep this on topic, can I count this as losing 180 pounds of unnecessary crap in a hurry?

wow! i am sooooo very sorry that you have gone through this but this is more than a NSV! this is the chance for a whole new life and a healthier life. i too just got out of a long relationship very recent & i invested so much! maybe a good 75% of me & i lost it but atleast i have 25% of me left to possibly invest in someone who is worth it & ill be winning!

So, I got a text message from my DH last night (and that doesn't mean Dear anything!). Text message said, basically, "File our divorce papers now!"

We've been separated since June. I came home from the hospital June 3 on 3 kinds of oxygen. He got ticked because I didn't know what was for dinner that night @@ and broke every dish in our house. I moved out a few days later.

I've been doing everything I know how to a. get healthier mentally and physically and b. have even gone to marriage counseling with him, which was useless because he thinks everything is ALL my fault.

He's an alcoholic, which he hid from me till after we got married. Now he's in full bloom again.

I guess we just weren't meant to be. So, to keep this on topic, can I count this as losing 180 pounds of unnecessary crap in a hurry?

Wow I'm so sorry. I know you are probably hurting. But please realize that there is someone out there that will love and respect you. You took a stand and got sleeved, something to take better care of you. By the sounds of it, your husband wanted to only focus on him. I couldn't believe how selfish his actions were when you came home. He should have been making you broth and looking after you. You deserve better. I agree that this is your chance now to start completely new. He did you a favor! Take a deep breath and be strong. There is a reason this happened. You just wait and see. Happiness is the best revenge. I wish you happiness. Take care.

That sucks, Lissa. I'm sorry. No matter what, divorce is never easy. But it sounds like he wasn't very respectful of you OR your needs.

definatly lost a whole lot of dead weight. sorry this happened, but it sounds like you needed to get out of this bad relationship. NO ONE deserves to be treated like that.

I would avoid relationships for a while so that you may work on finding your new you.

good luck and ((hugs))

Well - I don't think this is a NSV yet. No divorce or breakup is until you are fully recovered. Sad to hear you are dealing with such drama while trying to get the new you down to goal size. Don't let this problem derail your weight loss journey. Easy now to slide into bad habits so be vigilant.

Firmly agree with sassygirl advice - find yourself before even considering a new relationship. When my marriage ended (over a decade of marriage) it took me over 3 years fully heal. Oh, I thought I was good and ended up getting used cause I did not believe in myself. Truly am crying for you.

Forge ahead but take time to mourn what was, plan ahead, seek a professional to reflect and learn for the bright future you know can make a reality.

Hugs.

Sorry you have to go through all this, at a time when you need to focus on your health and well being. The other ladies that posted really have great advice for you. Remember, many times what seems like the worst thing in the world,ends up being a big blessing. May God bless you, and remember there is support out here for you. Good luck.

You are a strong woman and certainly don't deserve to be treated that way! Thinking about you and praying for your strength! Time to take care of you my friend!!

"the end of a relationship is not necessarily the tragedy. staying in a relationship that is no longer working is the tragedy! living unhappily- thats the tragedy." -olivia wilde

Lissa, I "liked" your post - you are very brave and I know going through this is very hurtful. My Sister married an alcoholic after dating two alcoholics. They werent back-toback-to back but I can tell you you are much better off filing for a divorce. Reoccurence in alcoholics is high, and the chances of an enabler changing the situation for an alcoholic is slim. I dated an alcoholic for awhile and we were very serious, until they wrapped their graduation present around an oak tree. It may sound horrible but what if they hadn't? I would have probably spent years and years putting up with an escalating situation that could already get bad at times. I would have never met my wonderful Spouse, left the town I really needed to get out of...you are out, and you see it for what it is. Be brave.

Be prepared too. Do what you need to to be protected. Get your handgun license if you don't have it yet. Please don't take offense. I didn't say you needed to get a gun, i just said get the license. The license takes longer, and you don't want to be two or three months out from legally carrying one if you decide you need to.

This step, from what I observed with people I knew, can be really hard. This is the physical and spiritual representation of your marriage, and you are going to have to separate all of this out. Be really careful, get a lawyer and email me if you ever need to talk.

Praying for you.. I grew up w/ an alcoholic father... you know the rest!!.. Be strong and positive...

well, I agree with all the above.. I was married to an alcoholic and I enabled him to continue to be for 10 years. Finally broke free of that! Yours sounds a lot like mine... giving orders and such. If he wants a divorce, let him file it. Why should you take on all the stress of that, meeting with lawyers, paying for it and so on while he sits back and just signs his name when you are done doing ALL the work. Screw that. Let him do it and you sit back and sign when you agree to everything. Thats what I say... Dont let him keep ordering you around... you dont owe him sh*t.

Wow!!! You're the QUEEN!! Losing 180 Lbs overnight... CONGRATS LISSA!!

Really though, it doesn't sound like your "D"H was anything more than a mean headache. Happy trails to him AND to you.

Merry Christmas my dear friend.

ETA: I know I already said this but, if he wants a Divorce - he can file for it. Amen.

You all are great!! I needed some humor after that text! I may file, but it's going to be very different from what we had talked about before!! And I will file when I am ready!!

Lissa

Lissa,

I love reading your posts, and appreciate how you are always there for all of us. I'm sorry you've been in such a bad situation. You are a fantastic person and deserve much better than you've received. I wish you the best!

do whatever you feel is right for you! screw him! we all stand behind you!

You all are great!! I needed some humor after that text! I may file, but it's going to be very different from what we had talked about before!! And I will file when I am ready!!

Lissa