Unexpected Response From Co-worker

[goldenraisin214 142]

Sorry for the length of this post--this just happened and I had to get it out:

So, I mentioned my plans for WLS to a co worker who has been very supportive of me and kind to me in the past (why I felt ok telling her before I even have a surgery date). But when I said it, her eyes bugged out for about half a second, then she launched into this 5 minute infomercial about some nutritional supplement that she'd given to another person who works in my office and how that person has lost 20 lbs. She told me all about it, and asked something like how soon was I planning the surgery and wouldn't I like to just try this Vitamin for 3 months and see what happens? Um, nope. I've been thinking about this for months, and trying everything under the sun for years--I'm done. I told her that I've already started the process and don't want to wait 3 more months, but she could feel free to send me whatever info she had, or that I could just google it. It was SO awkward (for me, at least)! Then some other people walked over and the conversation sort of faded away. I don't know, it left me with a bad taste in my mouth, I mean, it's not like I just woke up one day 20lbs overweight and decided to have this surgery. I need to lose more like 100. And she did say something about maybe it'd be better if I could lose without their being "stapling of [my] insides" involved. She's about 20 yrs older than me, and maybe it was some maternal reaction on her part, so I get the concern part, but ugh, I just really needed some support (and I also know she's never had a weight problem). I've also shared with another co-worker whom I consider a friend, as well as with my boss, and they've both been awesome, so maybe it's just a fluke, but it's giving me pause about telling other people. And for whatever reason, it's making me want to cry. Ok, thanks for reading all of this

[SippNSotaGirl 1]

Hugs, hon!! Only one person knows I'm having the surgery. Part of mine is because it's a revision from lapband. I know ppl are going to think if lapband didn't work, what makes me think the sleeve will. Admittedly, I think I have some of those same thoughts, too.

Bottom line, not everyone will understand, and not everyone will be part of your support system. As you mentioned, you are convinced that you're doing the right thing because you know your struggles, and you have done your research. You have some ppl at work to support you, and you have this forum. You'll do just fine!! :-)

[feedyoureye 3,087]

No one knows like you what you need to do. They will understand better when they see the 100 pounds gone.

[babigrl111 38]

A lot of the stigma with weight loss surgery is that someone always "knows" someone who knew someone who died from surgery. I think people are more worried than anything, especially the ones who care about you. Then again, if she's trying to sell you some miracle product, she's probably against WLS only because you'll be one less person for her to make money on.

[goldenraisin214 142]

Thanks for the support, guys--glad I checked in before leaving the office I will just focus on the positive and give her a knowing look when I start to melt before her eyes!

[sleeve 4 me 910]

Hugs sweetie!

[goldenraisin214 142]

Thanks for the hugs, sippnsotagirl and sleeve4me

[Seraphina 60]

Dear Golden,

I am second day post op. The only support I received and do receive is from some wonderful people on these boards. It's all the support I needed and then some.

I told no one in my life about my surgery. Not a soul. And I pulled it off.

Do your thing girl. Just do your thing.

[goldenraisin214 142]

Seraphina--thanks, girly...it's kinda messed up because i never had any intention of teliing everyone i work with, making some big announcement at a staff meeting or anything, i'm just not that tight will all of them. This woman was one of the "chosen few" And i do see the not telling anyone; if i were still at my previous job, i may have gone that way too...anyway, two days post op is so exciting! Can't wait to hear about your progress. Do my thing i shall, right along with you! Thanks again!

[EmSchrams 12]

I had a very awkward run in yesterday at work too! I have been pretty open about having the surgery since I work in a very tiny office, and everyone has seen me blending my pre-op shakes . Figured it was just easier than telling half truths. One guy who, to be fair, does not speak English very well came up to me and asked me if I was getting this surgery to be pretty. It took a minute to realize he didn't mean it the way it came out...but OMG it felt horrible and it took A LOT to not slap him! We just have to all stick together!

[Lissa 2,631]

Wow! I know he didn't mean that the way it came out, because you are pretty already!!

Awkward comments come along with telling people. Just try to remember that most people say it from concern FOR you rather than something AGAINST you. I've posted before about my friend's sister in law who had WLS and is not compliant with her diet, Water, or exercise regime. She has lost her weight, but at a tremendous cost to her long term health. The sister in law is actually my inspiration for working my sleeve correctly.

When I first mentioned WLS to the friend, she was horrified and made comments about it being a lot of work and not a magic wand. At first I was somewhat offended, but I finally asked her what she meant by that comment. Once I knew where she was coming from, the sting went out of her words.

Maybe we are so over-sensitive from our years of dealing with negativity surrounding our weight that it's difficult for us to see that people do mean things in a positive manner. We're just not used to assuming the best of those comments. That's my thought process anyway.

[goldenraisin214 142]

I had a very awkward run in yesterday at work too! I have been pretty open about having the surgery since I work in a very tiny office, and everyone has seen me blending my pre-op shakes . Figured it was just easier than telling half truths. One guy who, to be fair, does not speak English very well came up to me and asked me if I was getting this surgery to be pretty. It took a minute to realize he didn't mean it the way it came out...but OMG it felt horrible and it took A LOT to not slap him! We just have to all stick together!

What?! Good for you for giving it a minute before reacting--that could've gotten ugly

[goldenraisin214 142]

I agree with Lissa: it's hard enough telling ppl abt WLS, because on some level you're "admitting" that you're seriously overweight and becoming very vulnerable in front of them in that moment...

[Seraphina 60]

That's so true. It's hard to say certain things out loud, and if you do, it should be to people who you KNOW got your back.

Everyone at VST's got your back.

PM me anytime and I'll give you the real deal on WLS (the way I see it anyway) :wink1:

[EmSchrams 12]

What?! Good for you for giving it a minute before reacting--that could've gotten ugly :wink1:

Haha it def took me a "Count to 10" second, and truth be told I have pretty much avoided him since. I absolutely think it from being overly sensitive over the years. It's that moment when you let everyone in on the "secret" of being overweight just like you said. I am just so excited to start this next chapter!