Skinny girl issues...WTH!!!!!

[Forensikchic 528]

I used her comments to fuel my workout tonight!

[swizzly 901]

In my opinion and experience, the best way to deal with a-holes like your work 'colleague,' forensikchic, is to get (or pretend you have) a super thick skin and just permanently ignore her. Not blatantly on the outside, but on the inside, where everything she says is like Water off a duck's a$$. And on the outside, you're calm, pleasant, a placid and serene lake on a sunny day. You smile and interact with her like butter couldn't melt in your mouth. Never let her see she's getting to you in any way...that's the way to win these types of interactions (not that it's a zero-sum game, but people like that tend to see it that way). Like any bullying abusive person, getting the energy back from you so that they know they've hit their target is a lot of their payoff. So don't give them a red cent emotionally speaking. It chokes off the negativity of the interaction at its source. GOOD LUCK!!!

[Raine 170]

Forensikhic, I know the "right" thing to do is to brush it off and not let her take up space in your brain buuuuuuuuuut I am too aggressive for something like that LOL. I'm of the mind that if you don't confront people like that then they will keep on doing it. Remember, misery loves company, and she sure sounds like one misreble b*tch to say those things to you. Some people just deserve and need a kick in the a** sometimes. I am sure the Brooklyn, NYC would come out in me and I would have a few choice words for her that would not be how a lot of people would handle the situation but my advise to you would be to just flat out ignore her. Make like she doesn't even exist, even when she says hello. If she questions it, tell her you don't have time for her or her games and rudeness and that she needs to move on because you already have.

[swizzly 901]

LOL...Raine, I'm not from Brooklyn, I'm from laid-back L.A., but let me tell you, I'm a fighter not a lover. I have had a LONG, HARD journey to learning how to not always fight, so my instincts all totally agree with you. LOLOL. I usually only practice my non-combat policy at work, though. :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

[Phoenix Rising 5]

I have been reading all the comments and heartily agree with most of them. I must have a little mean streak in me though, as I would hand back any of her clothes that you have got too small for and say with a really big smile on my face...I thought I would return these to you as I am sure you will need them again and I most definately won't!

This 'competition' that she is having, is already won by you, as you know all those pounds lost will never be visiting you again. Congratulations on how far you've come and enjoy every future pound you lose.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Forensikhic, I know the "right" thing to do is to brush it off and not let her take up space in your brain buuuuuuuuuut I am too aggressive for something like that LOL. I'm of the mind that if you don't confront people like that then they will keep on doing it. Remember, misery loves company, and she sure sounds like one misreble b*tch to say those things to you. Some people just deserve and need a kick in the a** sometimes. I am sure the Brooklyn, NYC would come out in me and I would have a few choice words for her that would not be how a lot of people would handle the situation but my advise to you would be to just flat out ignore her. Make like she doesn't even exist, even when she says hello. If she questions it, tell her you don't have time for her or her games and rudeness and that she needs to move on because you already have.

I love this!!! Girlie I'm from the wrong side of the tracks in Sacramento, and boy would this girl get the low down from me. I'm actually genuinely a nice person, but growing up the way I did I had to be fierce when the need arised. It would be very tactful of course because it is the workplace, but really - she would stop what she was doing.

How do I know? Because I've dealt with folks like this already. This person is really nice to me now. Haha!! She got her few chances, but when the time was right - I let her know I wasn't the one.

[june13sleever 223]

I also think of the scene in bridesmaids where the girl was telling her best friend that she was getting married. Upon hearing the new the news her best friend looked like she was going to cry. It is good to rejoice with others in their happiness, but I can understand watching everyone get married and me still being single. Single is better than fat, so while the underlying theme of someone's negative behavior towards you is jealousy that person who is jealous is probably hurting so much inside. We are getting thin and for me it still hurts to see people who I really want to get thin too stay big because they don't have the means to do what I did. I paid for it out of pocket - well a loan I was so fortunate. It doesn't make it right that people act like biatches, but I could still be fat and unhappy, so kill them with kindness!

[luvinitcuzican 8]

I also think of the scene in bridesmaids where the girl was telling her best friend that she was getting married. Upon hearing the new the news her best friend looked like she was going to cry. It is good to rejoice with others in their happiness, but I can understand watching everyone get married and me still being single. Single is better than fat, so while the underlying theme of someone's negative behavior towards you is jealousy that person who is jealous is probably hurting so much inside. We are getting thin and for me it still hurts to see people who I really want to get thin too stay big because they don't have the means to do what I did. I paid for it out of pocket - well a loan I was so fortunate. It doesn't make it right that people act like biatches, but I could still be fat and unhappy, so kill them with kindness!

I like that kill them with kindness..it's just easier said than done!

[sasicas 194]

Some people, generally women, are just catty jerks who cannot be happy for anyone who has anything better than them.

I had a friend, she was the closest friend I had who bailed after surgery and me losing a little weight. She had begun making catty comments and clearly couldn't stand that I was not going to be the fat friend forever. I can only imagine the comments I would get from her now.

Now I get comments from people all the time about how much I've lost and how fast it happened. I get comments constantly about getting too skinny and needing to eat more. Please. I couldn't eat more if my life depended on it right now. People I see weekly watch me when I eat, they look to see what is on my plate too. Drives me batty. Oh and of course the people that argue that I don't need plastics. At one point I was so fed up I flopped my flabby disgusting gut out to prove it ha! The sad part was that was with another WLS friend who makes comments about me too. *sigh*

People are just dumb.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

The sad part was that was with another WLS friend who makes comments about me too. *sigh*

People are just dumb.

Sheesh you'd think this person would know better... smh...

[sasicas 194]

Sheesh you'd think this person would know better... smh...

Exactly. She has attempted to compete with me since I had my surgery, it bothers her I am smaller than her. However I am also 3-4 inches shorter and started out 70 lbs less but it doesn't matter. To her she needs surgery and I couldn't possibly *eyeroll*

[luvinitcuzican 8]

Some people, generally women, are just catty jerks who cannot be happy for anyone who has anything better than them.

I had a friend, she was the closest friend I had who bailed after surgery and me losing a little weight. She had begun making catty comments and clearly couldn't stand that I was not going to be the fat friend forever. I can only imagine the comments I would get from her now.

Now I get comments from people all the time about how much I've lost and how fast it happened. I get comments constantly about getting too skinny and needing to eat more. Please. I couldn't eat more if my life depended on it right now. People I see weekly watch me when I eat, they look to see what is on my plate too. Drives me batty. Oh and of course the people that argue that I don't need plastics. At one point I was so fed up I flopped my flabby disgusting gut out to prove it ha! The sad part was that was with another WLS friend who makes comments about me too. *sigh*

People are just dumb.

Yep I feel you on this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NtvTxn 1,262]

I revel in being called skinny - to my face, behind my back, I don't care!!! My glass is 3/4 full - it's just lets me know I've been successful!!!

Someone told a group of us at a support group ages ago, "People are use to seeing you one way, chances are you've been large for years. When that changes you DO look skinny, some may think you look unhealthy or are losing too much. That's normal"

I agree there are probably some are envious, but I haven't done anything they can't do.

What is the best is when someone who only knows the new me complements me on something to do with my size. I had a sales lady say to me "You are so little, I am sure it will fit"

This is so fun, I am thankful every time I go to a mall, knowing I can walk in any store and find something cute to wear!!

My suggestion is, thank God you were able to have this surgery and change the course of your life....and thank God people notice!!!! =)

[luvinitcuzican 8]

I revel in being called skinny - to my face, behind my back, I don't care!!! My glass is 3/4 full - it's just lets me know I've been successful!!!

Someone told a group of us at a support group ages ago, "People are use to seeing you one way, chances are you've been large for years. When that changes you DO look skinny, some may think you look unhealthy or are losing too much. That's normal"

I agree there are probably some are envious, but I haven't done anything they can't do.

What is the best is when someone who only knows the new me complements me on something to do with my size. I had a sales lady say to me "You are so little, I am sure it will fit"

This is so fun, I am thankful every time I go to a mall, knowing I can walk in any store and find something cute to wear!!

My suggestion is, thank God you were able to have this surgery and change the course of your life....and thank God people notice!!!! =)

I think this is a very healthy way to think!

[coops 1,790]

I had to deal with the same chic again today. Started out nice saying she had some court pants I might want but I might have lost enough now for them to be too big but she would like to give them to me. I said ok. When I got them from her she told me they were WAYYYY to big for her but maybe I could wear them. To add insult to injury, she said, I would have thought you would be giving me your clothes by now instead of the other way around.

I seriously wanted to cry. I dont know how many more of these meetings with her that I can mentally handle. I am doing my best, even having surgery, and yet it seems not good enough. She is in fierce competition with me and I dont know why. I just dont want her to win so she can gloat that she lost more weight than me and I even had surgery.. I can hear it now. This is so depressing to me.

Forensikchic,

Sorry I am late replying to this... I've read the different comments and agree with all of them!

Just thought I would give you one of my experiences in this dept... just so you know you are not alone...

I have a really close friend whom I love like a sister. She started gaining weight a few years ago and at her highest she was probably UK16-18...(when I first met her she was a UK 10) at 5 6 she still looked good and carried the extra weight well. After she had her kids, she found it hard to lose the extra weight and didn't really bother to until I had the sleeve and started to get smaller.

Once she could see that I was getting close to her size she went on the massive diet and fitness regime and lost a load of weight. She started to give me her clothes that were too big for her! This was fine as I was pleased that I didn't have to spend money... money is always tight in this household - like so many others...lol

Anyway, she brought over some clothes for me ranging from an UK18-16 ( at this stage I was just getting into a UK16). In the bag was two pairs of trousers that she specifically drew attention to. She described them in detail saying they would be perfect for me and the cut was just right for my body shape. When she took them out of the bag, they were, in fact, maternity trousers size UK18! She proceed to say, 'I know you carry a lot of weight on your stomach, so I thought these would be ideal for you!;

I was gob-smacked!

In anger I tried the trousers on... just to prove her wrong and they fell to the floor.

When I saw her next... when I was calmer ... I told her that they were way too big and that I had given them to a woman who was actually pregnant ( which I did!). The look on her face was priceless and worth the upset 'cos she was obviously gutted that they were too big for me!

That was many months ago...

Today, I am in a UK14 that are comfortable and although she wouldn't admit it, she is back in UK16!

So, the moral of a very long story is that these people who think it is ok to use you as their motivation, as their competition and as their way of feeling better about themselves because they are so shallow and horrible, is that the tables will turn.

That woman who was horrid to you will reap what she sows.

I think you have two options... carry on like you are... or tell her to JOG ON!

The last time my friend offered me clothes, I politely said... 'well, it depends on what size they are 'cos the last lot were ALL too big!'

Revenge is a dish best served cold my friend! =]