I have taken a very long time to decide to do this. I had a failed band removed and my appetite has gone through the roof - I have gained 10# since it was removed.

I had alot of conerns, like most of us do. I have done alot of research, talking to people, getting screening tests etc and I finally came to peace with this decision. I want the benefits that a healthier body will bring me, and I have tried so hard, so many times over the years to lose and keep weight off... and I just can't make anything work.

Anyway, I made peace with my decision, scheduled my surgery and while still a little nervous, I was actually looking forward to it. Then, this week I had a major meltdown. It was triggered by being required to do another sleep study since I have gained weight since I was originally fitted with a cpap last year. At the same time, I found out that my insurance changes starting jan 1 and the sleeve is no longer covered! (the new insurance provider considers it investigational) For some reason, that feeling of pressure, like I have to keep my Dec date just caused a big emotional reaction. I am preapproved for this year - so really - if i want insurance coverage I need to do this in Dec!

My sleep study went okay, no adjustment to the cpap needed. I do now have something new to worry about - people with sleep apnea have a higher anesthesia risk during the first 24 hours after surgery (when you no longer have a breathing tube). I didn't really know too much about this before.

I am feeling a little better today, but I feel very confused why I would be so strong and confident about the decision to be sleeved, and to be thrown into an emotional tizzy due to the sleep apnea info plus the pending insurance issues.

I do now have something new to worry about - people with sleep apnea have a higher anesthesia risk during the first 24 hours after surgery (when you no longer have a breathing tube). I didn't really know too much about this before.

The percentage of Bariatric patients with sleep apnea must be high. I am confident most bariatric teams handle this daily. I have severe sleep apnea and my pulmonologist cleared me for surgery AND wrote instructions that's asks for extra attention post surgery. This actually put me at ease instead of worrying me. I plan on showing those instructions to nurses, anesthesiologist, surgeon & whoever else come to see me right before surgery. You can even mention it at your pre- op meeting if you wish.

Maybe I'm in denial. I hope not. I honestly added this to the laundry list of things that Everyone has to sign before any surgery. Glad to hear you are feeling better. Breathe in, Breathe out. Big hug to you

Oh friend, I spazzed on a weekly then daily basis in the last month leading up to surgery. I was terrified and felt like I was puposely killng my best friend (food). However, throughout it all I knew I needed this. I'd chickened out of bybass three times before. I was so scared the morning of surgery that I literally prayed while waiting in pre-op and asked the Lord to either give me sign that I was doing the right thing or get me the heck out of there. At that moment, I felt an extreme sense of peace envelop me. It was profound.

If you are a person of faith, I suggest turning it over to your higher power but also know that pretty much ALL of us experience high stress, nerves and anxiety leading up to surgery.

Best wishes to you.

Amanda

Thank you both for your support. I know that many bariatric patients have sleep apnea - it was my sleep apnea doc that was the one that really encouraged me to explore the sleeve option a year ago. I actually credit him with helping me be open to this surgery - he really recommends it and sees it as life saving/life extending for people like me. He has seen many of his apnea patients be "cured" by the weight loss and would be happy to see the same thing happen for me. My emotional reaction to knowing the increased risk was really disproportionate, and i guess is probably my overall anxiety finding something to latch onto.

amanda, seeing someone who has lost over 100 pounds so quickly - well - that inspires me to not give up just because I have anxiety over it.

My dear friend is a nurse and she is VERY supportive of me doing this. She tells me I have researched it too much, am too aware of the things that CAN go wrong. she thinks I should just do this since I really have made an informed decision....and not let my freak outs get in the way. Her point being is that I am not obsessing about the risk of cancer, heart disease, diabetes etc that are very real risks of keeping this extra weight - and she is right!

I didn't cancel the date and so the date of Dec 12 just gets closer and closer.... I am hoping I can regain that feeling of peace, but even if I can't, I still think this is the right decision.... I can do this

Jane, I had/have severe sleep apnea. My dx during the original sleep study was that I had 1000 incidents an hour. No wonder I felt tired all the time. I started using the bi-pap two weeks before surgery and came through with flying colors. So, set you mind at ease on that one. You'll do great!

Secondly, I was totally convinced I'd die during surgery, but I was dying anyway, so I went ahead and did it. Boy, am I glad that I did!! My co-morbidities are improving rapidly, and I have a long laundry list of them.

Every time you start thinking about it and getting nervous, just remind yourself that God is in charge and He will watch over you. You have researched your surgeon, your hospital and everything else you possibly can research. Now, the next time your nerves start bugging you, make a list of what the thoughts are, then do what you can to handle those issues. If your worry is that your family will fall apart without you, then make sure your estate planning is up to date and that you have told everyone you love them.

If you worry about saying good-bye to food, don't worry. You will be able to eat anything you want after the sleeve, just in smaller portions. If you're worried about the work required to lose weight, don't. You will want to do it, especially after that sleeve starts helping you lose weight in a hurry.

Whatever your worry is, just write it down, handle what you can, and give the rest to God. Oh, and there may be a reason that your insurance is changing now. It will definitely MAKE you decide to move forward. Maybe God is saying that the time is now!

Good luck on your journey!!

I never freaked for a moment regarding surgery. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea as part of my pre surgery test. I was required to bring my cpap machine to the hospital for the night after surgery. Don't overthink. As with any surgery there are risks but there are more risks long term if you decide to wait to have surgery I have never regretted my decision. Hang in there, it is almost here, you can do it!

As my surgery date approaches (Dec. 5th), I am slowly losing my mind! I start my pre-op diet on Wednesday (Nov.16) and on that day I also meet with the surgeon, anesthesiologists, and have all my final blood work done. I am sooooo nervous! I guess its just not knowing what to expect. I definitely understand.

I am also afraid. I finally got my date...December 19. I beleve this feeling I'd normal and we will make it through together. I've read, watched, listened, etc, just to learn all about the survey. I've even increased my life insurance policy...lol. I know this is the best decision for me because I'm tired of fighting with my weight and im tired of being FAT with NO energy. Good luck to all of us, just keep the faith.

During the last month leading up to my surgery date, I alternated between excitement and worry. For days at a time, I'd be wishing my surgery date would hurry up and arrive. Then out of the blue, something would happen, even something as minor as a life insurance commercial, and I'd start to worry. My surgery was on a Monday, and as late as the Friday before, I considered calling it all off. In the end, I just kept reassuring myself that the odds were in my favor, and like Amanda, prayed over the decision. Now nearly 3 months out, I'm happy I didn't back out!

Whew, I am right there with those experiencing cold feet. and Amanda, what you said about feeling like you were killing your best friend food.....I don't know what I am going to do to 'entertain" myself anymore! But I know its going to be the right thing. This was a good thread, thanks!

Thanks everyone - great responses and discussion.

For me personally, I probably SHOULD be worried about the forced change of relationship with food, but I am actually looking forward to that part. I know it will be rough at first, but I want to eat like a normal woman, small quanties and and based on what I need to fuel my body and no more.

I probably should be more concerned about the fact that being obese is slowing killing me (I have sleep apnea, early onset arthritis and borderline blood pressure. I have insulin resistance, and will likely become diabetic if I don't get the weight off and keep it off), but there is something about surgery that focuses your worries on a specific event...lol

My conscious fears are really surgery and recovery related. I know that MOST people have no major problems, but I guess the thoughts that keep creeping in is what if I am one of the unlucky few that get a leak, a stricture or has a problem during surgery. I realize that my odds of dying on the table are very low,but it is still in the back of my mind. As a revision from the band, I probably have a higher risk of leaks and I know that can be a real recovery nightmare.

You are right, I feel great about my surgeon's skills and support, but I know that even so, bad things can happen.

I am trying to keep my mine focused on all the benefits of losing weight and becoming healthier. All the sleevers I have met are just so happy with their new life - I keep trying to focus my "eye on the prize" but I do sometimes get a little overwhelmed with the fears.

I keep trying to visualize myself 6 months post surgery - alot of weight gone, feeling healthier etc and with NO long term complications.

I am eight days out from surgery, and have had a few mini-meltdowns so far! I want this SO badly that I worry every step of the way that something is going to happen to postpone or somehow disqualify me from having surgery. I go in for my final pre-op consult and blood work today, and then I should be good to go. I can't wait to be past the point of worrying about having the surgery. The hard work to come will be a welcome respite from the "hurry up and wait"!

Oh man, Cowgirl Jane I can totally relate. I'm scheduled for January 12. A few months ago, I felt terror. Then I visualized and worked on things and got over a hump, putting my trust in my doctor's experience (Dr. Cirangle). I was feeling pretty good! Then a couple weeks ago, I got a batch of additional pre-op documents, including a lengthy informed consent doc. It itemizes ALL the things that could go wrong, and I had to wade through them yet again. Some info was new and scary. I started to worry. I had a panic attack a few days later. Then a couple days after that, my primary care doc asked at my pre-op physical, "So, to get macabre for a moment, do you have estate planning in place?" Wow, the blood just drained out of my face at that. And ever since I've been in full-on fear mode. Imagining horrible things. I have to get through the next !!!8 WEEKS!!! without killing myself with anxiety, fear, panic!! I would love to go to a support group where we all cheer each other on through the fear. The facts are that millions of people have surgery every day. My doctor has done this surgery more than 2,200 times. None of his patients have died. Very few have had complications. Most people's comments I've read are very positive -- they had a stellar experience with Dr. Cirangle, and many say they wish they'd had the surgery sooner. But if I have to remind myself of this multiple times a day for the next 8 weeks, I'm going to explode.

My surgery date is December 1st. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so worried. About everything.

The reason I know I'll go through with it is because I have support on this board. Reading about everyone's experiences gives me peace when I need it.

We are all the same.

Im scheduled in 48 hours... I am a medical professional I know all the things that COULD happen and therfore I have totally freaked out many times... I am now nervously excited- Nervous just in general and excited to get it over with. I have had a real shitty last year and 1/2 feeling terrible and I am 100% convinced that this will resolve a lot of my health issues. I wish you luck and although it's easier said than done.. don't worry

Ladies, (Seraphina, CoffeeandMagazines, and lml),

I know that all three of you are going to do well through surgery. For coffee, your doc has a point about the estate planning docs. You should have them in place, if only to take your mind off that particular worry. I'll admit I updated mine. It gave me peace of mind.

I think it's more normal to freak out than to be calm at this point. You have each researched your doctor, your hospital and your situation to the point where you are basically comfortable with your decision. Having done that research, I think it's normal to second-guess yourself. Hopefully, you'll be able to resolve those questions before you go in for surgery. OR, you could be like me and still be thinking about those questions as you're being wheeled into the operating room.

You'll still do fine. I can't wait to see all of you on the loser's bench!