I have taken a very long time to decide to do this. I had a failed band removed and my appetite has gone through the roof - I have gained 10# since it was removed.

I had alot of conerns, like most of us do. I have done alot of research, talking to people, getting screening tests etc and I finally came to peace with this decision. I want the benefits that a healthier body will bring me, and I have tried so hard, so many times over the years to lose and keep weight off... and I just can't make anything work.

Anyway, I made peace with my decision, scheduled my surgery and while still a little nervous, I was actually looking forward to it. Then, this week I had a major meltdown. It was triggered by being required to do another sleep study since I have gained weight since I was originally fitted with a cpap last year. At the same time, I found out that my insurance changes starting jan 1 and the sleeve is no longer covered! (the new insurance provider considers it investigational) For some reason, that feeling of pressure, like I have to keep my Dec date just caused a big emotional reaction. I am preapproved for this year - so really - if i want insurance coverage I need to do this in Dec!

My sleep study went okay, no adjustment to the cpap needed. I do now have something new to worry about - people with sleep apnea have a higher anesthesia risk during the first 24 hours after surgery (when you no longer have a breathing tube). I didn't really know too much about this before.

I am feeling a little better today, but I feel very confused why I would be so strong and confident about the decision to be sleeved, and to be thrown into an emotional tizzy due to the sleep apnea info plus the pending insurance issues.

Lissa, thank you for your reassuring words.

I booked my plane ticket (Mexico surgery) no less than five minutes ago. I was having the typical "can't turn back now" anxiety attack. Of course, I'll have another crack at that when they wheel me away.

Honestly, this forum is a sanity saver. Thanks again!

I have been very nervous about this. Scared of so many things. I'm not really scared of the surgery itself. But I'm going to be going out of state to have it, by myself, to San Jose/SF. I'm just a bit nervous about being able to navigate around the area. I've booked my plane ticket and now I'm trying to figure out the logistics of everything.

Wow... I was thinking that I was the only one having these feelings... I have been researching WLS for over a year now. I have attended seminars, online researching ect. For the past few months I have been HARD CORE searching for a way out of this unhappy body that I am in. I am not myself and I NEED me back.

I finally tell myself I AM READY.. . So.. To shorten my story, I have a surgery date Dec. 13th. My excitement levels are THROUGH THE ROOF!!! Flight is booked ect. Then last night, Out of nowhere, extreme fear and sadness.. What if... What if I am the .01% that dies during surgery.. How will my family feel?? What if (for some reason) I don't "pass" the pre-op tests ect. and can't have the surgery right then? What if, there is a major complication afterwards? Is it fair for my family to suffer through that? I'm so confused, I've dreamed of this day approching, for many years. And now my fears are leading the so happy thoughts, to sadness? I am hoping that I can get a feeling of comfort, when seeing that I'm not the only one that feels this.. I want to be the happy healthy person that I see in the good dreams.. And I want to be comfortable and happy getting to that day, that changes my life forever..