To Tell or Not To Tell.....

[Diva Girl 3]

....that is the question. Should I :speechles ?

I'm being banded August 16 (yay!). I'm torn over whether or not to tell anyone.

We're a very social couple and eat out with friends....they're certainly going to notice that we haven't invited them to dinner, or if we do, that I'm only drinking mine (and not the usual 18 gallons of wine, lol). They'll certainly notice that I haven't accepted any invitations, or if I do....that I bring pureed food. I have no problem abstaining from entertaining and being entertained for two months or so, until I can eat normal healthy food again but I don't want to offend anyone or keep putting them off.

Certainly people will know that I'm losing. Am I to just tell them that I am eating smaller portions (ha ha)? I hate to lie but I just don't want to spend hours talking about it, you know?

Tell me your experiences. Don't ask don't tell or tell all?

[disneynut 0]

I told no one but my immediate family, one close friend and one perceptive co-worker who flat out asked if I was having surgery. I couldn't lie to her face. When I received a anniversary party luncheon invitation for my good friend's parents, I had to ask what the food was being served before I could RSVP because I was just moving to the mushie stage and didn't want to have them pay for food service if I couldn't eat anything so I told my friend. I just told my boss that I was having some surgery and needed time off. I wouldn't tell anyone else unless they flat out asked me because I'm a terrible liar. If you are close to these people, do you feel they will be judgmental? I feel it's nobody's business but mine. I have cut way down on portion sizes and the foods I eat, but I can eat small amounts of everything so it doesn't catch a lot of people's attention. I have read that some people just say they are recovering from hernia surgery or gallbladder surgery. If you still have your gallbladder and something goes wrong later, you've already told people you had it removed. Good luck with your decision!

[Yoda 0]

Here is a thread I started a while back in which I asked the same type of question (there are a few threads like this, in fact). You'll get lots of responses here!

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=17096

[Kathi 0]

I regret telling ANYONE about my banding...

Going into the band I really had little doubt that I would be sucessful, but now that I am not a sucessful loser it has been terrible having to answer to people about "how it is going" and "how much have you lost".

I have resorted to saying that "I quit weighing myself".

It totally sucks to be policed about your foods, especially when you are eating the "legal" band foods and are still questioned about nosey people.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I am getting banded and I will be telling NO ONE but CLOSE family and one friend. Everyone else, even the boss I have told I am getting my gallbladder removed. Less questions that way. I don't want to deal with everyone in my business. So I am keeping it that way!

[AngieO 0]

I told my family, a small group of coworkers and my close friends. Like you, we have a very close social group and I wanted to tell them. I knew they would be excited for me. During "mushy" stage, I always ordered a baked potato or Soup when we went out to eat. It hasn't changed our social life at all.

Hope that helps.

Angie

[Diva Girl 3]

Thanks for all your responses....and especially for the link, Yoda. After reading the link and all of the responses, it seems to be running 5-1 against telling.

Anyone else want to weigh in on this (no pun intended)? My inclination is to tell - but then...if it doesn't "work" or I feel people are watching....I'll just freak out, I know it.

I'd love to hear some more telling experiences.

[Carol Conley 0]

I was told before I was Banded NOT to tell anyone but my family and very close friends. They are the only people I told and I am so glad. I have heard friends of mine talking about others who have had Gastric Bypass and have gained some weight back and how much money was wasted that they should have lost it the "real" way. No way I will tell any of them and have them judging my highs and lows. It takes work even with a tool like a lapband. Some people say they want you to do well but they are just waiting for you to fail. If you don't want people asking you "how it's going" and watching every bite you eat, don't tell. I went out to eat with my aunt, who is like a sister to me, about 4 0r 5 weeks post-op and when everyone was ordering she told the waitress I couldn't order anything because I had had "stomach surgery". Well, I went ahead and told the waitress that my aunt was right I had surgery but I could eat and I ordered. My aunts intensions were good but still I can speak for myself! I haven't even told my mother inlaw, I go to her house at least once a week and take her to the store, etc. Of course she never knew my husband and I had separated for 2 years about 12 years ago either:)! She thinks I had surgery to remove a hernia and some scar tissue. She hasn't even noticed I've lost almost 40 pounds. I really wanted to share my happiness with having this surgery and how glad I am that I did but I am really glad I decided not to. You will have ups and downs, and it is too bad that not everyone is happy for your success and is not there for you when things are going a little slow!

[FunnyDuddies 6]

I tell everyone! Its no secret I am fat, and people are going to notice that I lose the weight. If they ask how, then I tell them. If they don't like it, that is their issue. I have told people my plans, and why I walk around slowly now. That way they know what is going on and that I am legitimately in pain or needing assistance. I even told the clerk at Walmart when she say all the liquid foods and stuff that I was buying. LOL She looked at it all and said "Someone is going in for surgery aren't they?" I laughed and said that I had just been banded. She thought it was great! And gave me hug before I left.

[NaturalBeauty 2]

Lyn, I believe it's all about your personality, for me, it's no one's business no matter what's going on with me. I told my immediate family and 2 very close friends that I new would not say anything to anyone.

Some people are more outgoing and they like discussing things that are going on with them, I am the total opposite and I find nothing wrong with either way. It's all about what you are willing to deal with. I don't want a lot of questions from a punch of people who are not in my world but that's how I feel.

Anyway, you do what's best for you, just my 2 cents.

[lisah25 3]

I'm pretty outgoing, and have told my family, friends and co-workers.

I wonder, how many of us heard about banding from someone who had it done, or knew someone who did?

[FunnyDuddies 6]

I'm pretty outgoing, and have told my family, friends and co-workers.

I wonder, how many of us heard about banding from someone who had it done, or knew someone who did?

EXACTLY! I know personally 2 people who are going to be banded now, simply because of my being banded. They never knew about it before that.

[KatieB 0]

I told everyone!! The response was incredible, I have had support and encouragement from everyone. I am a high school teacher and I was truthful with my students when I took the week off for surgery. They have been the most helpful and have kept me motivated. A parent called me to ask for a conference, I assumed it was about her daughter. It turned out she wanted info about surgery! She is now scheduled to have it next month. I don't think this should be a dirty little secret. I have had so many people come up to me to ask about my exeriences, there are so many of us out there who need to know where to turn when they have tried EVERTHING to loose weight. The only downside is that I think I have become known as "the girl who had surgery". But hey, at least soon I won't be known as 'the big girl".

Katie

[barbara465 2]

Today I had something interesting happen. I was waiting for others to show up for a meeting and one guy walked in. He asked how my weekend was. I told him part of it was good, but the second half wasn't. I said I had acid reflux (had a major PB experience) and it was really bad. He told me he used to have that until he gave up carbs. I said mine was due to my stomach surgery. He said, oh did you have bariatric bypass. I said yes, but the lapband not the bypass. That was all that was said. I just couldn't lie and the fact that he said it so quick made me pause. We'll see if that was a bad decision or not.

[Loving-It 0]

I only told a few people and even now I'm regretting telling them. I had forgotten my lunch and ran to KFC. I got a piece of chicken and took the skin off...I'm back on regular food now. This person knew all about it, we've talked in great length about things and how it works.

The crap I got...I was told "I thought you were only allowed to eat boiled skinless chicken? " Yeah, nice. I don't need a coworker policing my food, especially if it's one stinking piece of chicken. Shoot me now! :help: