I know that there are so many people out there that will understand how I'm feeling, so I decided to post. I NEED some support today. My surgery is tomorrow in Mexico with Dr. Kelly. I decided to make the trip alone because I didn't think it was necessary to interrupt anyone else's schedule.

I have been crossing off the calendar days, following my two week pre-op diet to the letter (not an easy couple of weeks!), and watching and posting on the boards here every day... and now, it's finally my turn. I have my carry on bag half packed with all the recommended things you all have talked about taking to the hospital. I have my notes typed up for my last pre-op youtube video for shooting this afternoon. I guess you could say "I'M ALL READY"...

BUT, I'm not. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. Anxious. Teary eyed. My inner voice keep asking "Are you sure you should be doing this?" I'm scared and nervous. I usually embrace change and love a challenge. Some might describe me as a calculated risk taker. So, why am I feeling like such a chicken all of a sudden? Intellectually, I know this is totally normal. But, I thought it would be a breeze for me and now I'm being hit with morbid ideas of dying all alone. Seems a bit silly - but there you have it.

I'm not worried about the pain, or the healing, or the diet afterwards. I guess I'm most worried about just waking up alive and well....

Oh my gosh, my heart goes out to you. I was a nervous wreck the week before my surgery. The day before my surgery I cried on and off all day. And that was with having surgery locally and having my family with me for support. I will say a special prayer for you for strength and peace, and that the surgery will go perfectly for you. For me personaly the "after surgery" part was a breeze compared to the time leading up to surgery. I know that doesn't apply to everyone. When I woke up from surgery I was elated just to have made it through the surgery! It all seems so easy now looking back and I wish I hadn't stressed so much on it. This was one of the biggest decisions of my life, and definitely one of the best. Before you know it, you'll be a week post op and wondering where time has gone. Stay strong and know that it's all going to be worth it! Praying for you.

I had mu surgery yesterday with Dr Aceves and I'm feeling great! Just take deep breaths, focus on why you're having the surgery, and remind yourself of how many hundreds of these are done every day. You are going to do magnificently!

^{Hi Sara, I have a month left to wait and I feel the same fear. I am a mother of 6 and 3 of them are toddlers. I have been personally torn in this process. This forum is good for me because I can say my fears I can't say to my family and friends. I wish you the best and my prayers are with you.}

One week ago today I was feeling just like you are. You work so hard to get to this point and then you start second-guessing yourself. You know you made the right decision and everything will be just fine. Take a deep breath and say a prayer, that worked for me. I will say one for you also!

Girl, everything is going to be awesome. I wish I could go with you! I know the support of my husband right before and after during recovery was priceless. That's the part I fear for you the most, being alone. I'm 4 days out and feel like a different person already! It's the best thing I have EVER done. I'll be there with you in prayer.

You're going to do great! All of you Sleevers that have and will go before me, keep giving me the inspiration I need to keep my eye on the prize. I now know that being emotional the night before surgery is normal and I'll add that to my mental check list. I'm having my surgery here locally but like you, I didn't want to bother anyone so I've told all that I don't need anyone to go with me, just might need a ride to & home from the hospital. (I'll reconsider that now too)

Tomorrow will go well and before you know it, I'll be smiling at my monitor hearing/reading your play by play of your experience, so please give us an update as soon as you're able to.

Sarah it's normal to feel this way, when I went to dr Almanza 2 weeks ago nobody knew about it except my online support groups. That was a big concern for me too I kept thinking what if something bad happen. But you know what I pray about it everyday until I walked to the OR before I went under. God did not fail me and I'm sure He won't fail you either everything is going to be ok you will be back home to your family in no time have faith. I will keep you in my prayers I'll be waiting for you on the loser bench. Keep us update as soon as you can. God bless you.

sara, it is perfectly normal to feel this way. try to stay as calm as possible and think about all the reasons why you are making this journey. you will be great. we are all here for you. please update us as soon as you are up to it.

I know everyone has already told you this is normal. It may or may not help. I went by myself too and was scared. What helped calm me down was thinking through why I made this decision in the first place. It wasn't on a whim and it wasn't uninformed. Many of us have done more research on WLS than on anything else in our entire life!

I was more prepared for WLS than I was my emergency gall bladder surgery (where I never even MET my surgeon nor did I have a choice who did it). I was more prepared for WLS than to buy my first house, get married, and having a baby.

So take a deep breath and have faith in yourself that you are making the right choice because you couldn't have come this far otherwise.

Sara,

What you're feeling is coompletely natural, and I went thru this too! You won't be alone, trish will be there for you. You are in good hands. I will be thinking about you and sending you positive healing vibes. Please update when you feel up to it!! Good luck, I am so happy for you!

Thank you, everyone. I had one last cry as I read your responses - but it was a good cry because I felt supported and that's what I needed. Now I've pulled up my big girl panties (can't remember who says that on here...). Since I'm not about to change my mind, and I'm getting on the airplane in the morning, my worrying about it is doing me absolutely no good. I will keep myself occupied so I don't dwell and what will be, will be. I appreciate the prayers and healing thoughts. Your words of understanding helped me more than you can know.

I will post as soon as I possibly can once I'm on that losers bench! BIG SIGH!

I know exactly how you feel Sara. I cried in the hospital when they were scrubbing my stomach for surgery. I was so afraid. I came through just fine. AND SO WILL YOU. Post when you can and until then I'll be praying for you!

Hey Sara,

Its me Pam....I am here waiting for you!! I am soooo glad I was able to come down a bit early as I got to meet three beautiful ladies who all got sleeved last Thursday by Dr.Kelly. They are all doing amazing. All three of them had next to no pain and/or nausea. They were all completely mobile. As a matter of fact one of the gals was heading home early as she is doing so well. The hospital is lovely. The rooms are a little dated but they are certainly clean. I saw the Hotel today, it too looks fantastic. I am not worried at all anymore. I start getting my tests as early as 0700 in the morning and should be coming out of surgery just as you get here. We are going to be fine.

I will be thinking of you tonight!! See you tomorrow sometime.

Pam

xox

Still praying for you Sara as you must be recovering tonight. Hope you feel strong enough to post tomorrow. I can tell by your posts and your videos that you are a very strong lady so I'm sure you are doing great.

Pam, I hope you are doing well also. I'm thankful you ladies are able to be there together. Hope to read your posts soon!

I'm ALIVE!!! Had my surgery yesterday afternoon at 4 pm. Got to meet Pam face to face and she provided me with comfort and strength. I'm doing well. We've both been sleeping a lot today. The gas pains are beginning to kick in so I'm trying to force myself to walk. Overall it's all doable and I'm happy that the recovery is only going to get better day by day. I'll post more about it all later, for those that might be interested. Thank you for your prayers and healing thoughts!