Change in thinking

[cludgie 81]

Ok so, I would like to start by saying I am actually a very nice person, and would never EVER intentionally hurt anyone, however since starting to lose weight my thinking patterns have changed, and I've found that deep down there is a rather smug bit@h lurking!

I have spent my entire life looking around every room I entered, convinced I was the fattest, ugliest person there, and always seeing just beautiful people looking back, making me feel like crap!

So 51lb down I've started to find myself looking around me, and critiquing everyone, although part of me is glad that I'm less worried about my appearance compared to other peoples, I have truly shocked myself by randomly scrutininsing poor innocent strangers, and their bodies, and I really don't recognise this bit@hy little voice lurking inside, nor do I really like her!

Has anyone else found themselves thinking like this as their confidence has grown?

[MINI-Me 196]

Not really what you are describing, but I do watch what people eat. I am sometimes appalled by the volume. Then I remember that used to be me.

Do you think you may be doing to others what you THOUGHT others were doing to you in the past? Losing weight and seeing how people may treat you now can often be very emotional. I actually still get mad when men notice me now - smiling or holding doors for me. They never did that when I took up twice the space I do now.

I don't think you are a b***h ... You are just adjusting to you new norms.

[Raine 170]

I think because we are so conscious of our weight and how we look right now, we are constantly looking at others and "sizing" them up so to speak. I find myself looking at other women and thinking I look better than her, or I am skinnier than her or she could look better. Then I tell myself to shut the f up and move on. Its only bitchy if you are rude and say it out loud, you are allowed to think what you want

[Amanda131 214]

Yes, Yes, YES! Cludgie, you are not alone. I am like you- traditionally a ridiculously nice person. However, I have also recently noticed myself judging others. I wouldn't dream of saying anything out loud but I can't help looking at heavier people and their size, clothing choices, etc. Right now, I am obsessing over the thoughts of "Don't they know how unhealthy they are?" and "Why don't they do something about it?" Then I stop and remind myself that I was that person for TEN years before I did anything about it. I think my fascination has something to do with trying to make peace with myself over waiting so long to make the decision to get healthy. Regardless, I wanted you to know you aren't alone.

Amanda

[treequeen 13]

I haven't had surgery yet and think negative things about ppl larger than me... I am always looking at ppl...some I want to be like, some I wonder how they got that way... some I wonder if they own a mirror or if they r trying to get on the ppl of Wal-mart website. I notice the smallest physical flaws. Just like I do in myself. I am hard on me and I am hard on them... but only in my head. Unless they have a zipper down or something... then I'll tell them. Maybe it isn't the best part of my personality, but it can't be helped. I've always looked at ppl.

[ybnormal 21]

I'm the weird one (no surprise) as I've always gone out of my way to compliment women. When I was thin women HATED me until they found out I was married and had no interest in their man so I think for me, it became a way to put them at ease right off the bat. I've always noticed shoes or accessories that I liked and would ask about them, sincerely, not in a bs or snide way. I've just always noticed other women and their insecurities and I felt bad for them because I know how it feels. I always go out of my way to make people feel comfortable, I think because I know what it feels like to be ridiculed for no dang reason...it SUCKS.

Taking my sons to sport events I would sit in my car and let them have fun because of the catty women there. I left in tears so many times I can't even tell you and it was hurtful. I would never intentionally do it to someone else and I think thats maybe why I over compensate on the compliments to others.

Renee`

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I look at women and men bigger than I am now, and think "If they only new about the sleeve" or "Perhaps they don't have the money" or "perhaps they don't have insurance" For all I really know, they are happy the way they are... but I know how I was, and am going from that...I wish I didn't even notice the difference between fat and thin! ...but I do.

[cludgie 81]

Thanks for the replies folks, I do feel better knowing that it is not only me. I do hasten to clarify though that I would never, EVER say anything offensive aloud, it just shocks me the things my mind gets up to sometimes!