3 weeks post-op and this isn't working

[USMCwifeandTEACHER 3]

I don't feel like my sleeve is working. I didn't know about bougie sizes or anything like that before having the surgery. Obviously this wasn't an impulse decision because we all have hoops to jump through in some form or fashion. While I do feel the restriction, my head hunger hasn't gone away. I can graze with the best of them. I am stressed about a lot of other things too, but this is just the pits.

Truth: I'm not working out.

Truth: I'm not following the post-op diet to the "T". I can eat celery, apples, carrots, etc... I haven't had anything too crazy. I've tried a slider burger and salmon that I cooked too long and I vomited because they got stuck.

Truth: The scale has been sitting at the same friggin weight since last week. Actually I gained two pounds, still having "woman" issues too. * sigh*

I didn't put this as a pity party but I'm just wondering why I never thought to google "sleeve didn't work for me" before having this surgery. LOL!

Its like, if I'm going to stay overweight, I can't even eat the crap I used to want to eat with enjoyment now.

[meggiep 57]

I have to say it- your sleeve is not failing- I think you may be failing your sleeve. My doctor made it clear, and certainly everyone here makes it clear, that the sleeve is just a tool but you still have to do the work. You have to really work the sleeve, and it means dieting , a pretty strict diet. You have to have noticed that most of the people who have the best results count carbs, under 30 or 40, drink the liquid, exercise, get the Protein, and take the Vitamins. It isn't my favorite fact about my sleeve but it is what it is so I am going to do it too, especially for the six to nine months when weight loss is optimized. The sleeve is a HUGE help if you follow the rules because if you get Protein first, then veggies and THEN carbs -well there isn't room for carbs. But all of that is up to YOU.

I remember you said way back before your sleeve that you did not feel entirely committed to the sleeve and I think that is what you are coming up against now. I certainly know, in this four weeks post-op for me, that complete commitment is absolutely necessary to stay the course on this journey- this is HARD- and if you aren't fully into it then yes, you might fail.

I want you to succeed- and I think you might want to consider some counseling to deal with the part of you that may be hell bent on sabotaging yourself. You have probably done that every time you tried to lose weight- and I know that because I have always done that! But this time we have received a gift of an amazing tool that causes us to get full really fast and this may be the chance to lose the weight for good. However you need to let that happen! You are being your own worst enemy and I encourage you gently and lovingly to get to the bottom of this and make this work for you!

p.s. Celery is really a no no- check the thread in complications about the sleever who ate coconut and find out what can happen with fibrous foods.]

Edited to add- I encourage you to use an online program to log all your food- it helps keep you accountable.

I also need to say that almost everyone stalls at 3 weeks or so- but I feel you are mentioning more issues than that so I did not mention it.

[kwikwits 20]

My two cents...meggie is right...your sleeve isn't a magic pill that makes you skinny.

You and your sleeve are a team working together to learn new eating strategies that

will not just get you to lose weight but insure that you keep off the weight you lose.

Please I am not chastising or blaming. I am a compulsive, emotional eater who may

even be a food addict I am not sure. I was sleeved a week ago. What I suspect you

are doing is TESTING YOUR SLEEVE to see if it is going to protect you from your

self sabotaging. It won't. It may make you vomit and make you feel ill but you are

ultimately deciding what goes into your mouth not your sleeve.

Yes, if the medical profession could only fix our crazy self defeating brains!

My poor stomach was sacrificed for the sins of my brain. My brain desires

food. I want prosciutto, fresh mozzarella on a crusty bread with balsamic

vinegar and roasted red peppers. I am not physically hungry. The idea of

this sandwich plopped into my head yesterday. I wasn't hungry. I am

sleeved for one week. I have been on thin liquids for 3 weeks. Two before

surgery and one since surgery. I know in a few weeks I could have a taste,

bite of such a sandwich. It would not be a good decision for me to have a bite

now. I even believe I would be able to eat a taste of this sandwich now and not

die -- maybe not even get so sick. Ah, my first of many food behavior dilemmas.

Yesterday I asked three different friends to order or make this sandwich -- not for

me to eat but for me to eat it vicariously while they ate it! They didn't even have to

eat the sandwich in my presence just eat it and tell me about it. I call this 'FOOD

PORN". My sleeve cannot prevent me or keep me from eating prosciutto, mozzarella

etc. At best it can restrict how much of I eat or how I feel afterwards if am able to eat

the whole sandwich.

Does this mean my sleeve isn't working? Of course not. It means my desire for food

has nothing to do with physical hunger and it never has. I love food. I use it for many

things. It is my oldest and most reliable coping mechanism for so many feelings, and

eating when I am not the slightest bit hungry is a habit I have had for nearly 56 years.

My sleeve isn't capable of stopping these behaviors I have about food and eating.

I am going to have to learn new ways of coping that don't include eating as a recreational

activity. Will I be able to do this 100%? Of course not. But if I learn not to eat for recreation

40% of the time -- I will be accomplishing a lot. I worried so much about whether any

WLS would work for me. So what a surgery is going to make me feel less hungry --

I never ate from only hunger! I eat because it is sunny, or it is raining. I eat because

it feels good. Food is my drug. When I went to meet my surgeon the first time I asked

him "if you only do this surgery on patients who eat because they are hungry I should

leave right now"...I said the same thing to the shrink who had to evaluate me before

I could have this surgery or before my insurance would pay for it. The shrink was more

insightful than I expected him to be -- he said to me -- "WLS is the only tool the medical

profession has now to help the morbidly obese. It isn't a CURE for obesity or for compulsive

emotional recreational eating. But it is the best tool with have right now. Then he said

to me "be realistic, what are the chances you are going to lose a significant about of weight

and keep at least a majority of it off if you don't have WLS?"

I am 56 years old. I have always been overweight and with each and every failed diet

I went on starting at age 9 years old I have lost weight only to regain it with interest. I

was a chubby kid who dieted herself to an obese (my starting BMI was 54. something).

I chose to do this before the co-morbidities I didn't think I would develop made me very

ill and possibly immobile. If I am successful in reaching my goal or even less than my

goal I will still be obese only less so. My parents lived to be in their 80s. I would like

to live at least as long as they did. I would also like to be able to do the things I enjoy

with the people I love. I don't want to be house bound or need a walker, scooter or

a pony & a cart to get around and that is where I was headed.

The sleeve is one tool in my new arsenal. I started seeing a therapist when I made

the decision to have WLS. I am going to have to work on making better food and eating

choices. I discuss my fears of failing at yet another weight loss attempt with my therapist.

Only this time I paid money for someone to remove 85% of my stomach -- this failure would

be a BIG failure. I will need to exercise because maintaining a significant weight loss increases

if I do cardio at least 30 minutes no less than 5x a week. I am a COUCH POTATO. I will spend

$ on a trainer if necessary to drag my lard ass outside to do some cardio. Do I have the money

for a trainer -- not really -- but I have pissed away lots of money on getting this fat without blinking

an eye. Spending money to save my life isn't an extravagance it is a necessity.

I am just like you. My sleeve can only do so much. It can remind me that I can NOT EAT EVERYTHING

I WANT ALL AT ONCE AND NEVER STOP. But it can't stop me from chugging down real milk shakes,

malteds, coca cola, pepsi, real non-diet ginger ale, ice cream, etc. If I chose for my sleeve to fail that is

what will happen. It won't be my sleeves fault...first because it is just a mutilated stomach now shaped

like a skinny banana and second because I am still driving this bus -- not my sleeve. I make all the decisions

and all it can do is follow my lead.

Your sleeve can work if you work with it and show it how to work with you. Not every single time you eat

but try for 30% of the time, build to 40% of the time, and see how you feel. I am an old fat hippie who

believes in harm reduction. If you change the way you eat for just tomorrow -- you have accomplished

something. If every time you eat you make a better choice 4 out of 10 times you have accomplished

something. Take baby steps. Travel only as fast as the slowest part of you can go.

[Eureka-C 20]

I don't feel like my sleeve is working. I didn't know about bougie sizes or anything like that before having the surgery. Obviously this wasn't an impulse decision because we all have hoops to jump through in some form or fashion.

Have you lost weight? How much have you lost? When you say its not working, what do you mean?

While I do feel the restriction, my head hunger hasn't gone away. I can graze with the best of them.

I read a quote somewhere, it went something like this. "They did surgery on my stomach, not my head." While the ghrelin lowering does help the constant hunger some people have, it doesn't help "head hunger" those cravings for satisfying psychological needs. It also can take several weeks for it to level out in your system. Also, some people never have the loss of hunger feeling. It was almost 6 weeks when I really noticed a big difference.

I am stressed about a lot of other things too, but this is just the pits.

Stress can kick all our butts. Stress makes fighting all those bad habits difficult. Stress also makes it hard to see the positive. I try to keep my mind on the big picture when I am disappointed. Look at the overall weight loss, the overall changes.

Truth: I'm not working out.

Truth: I'm not following the post-op diet to the "T". I can eat celery, apples, carrots, etc... I haven't had anything too crazy. I've tried a slider burger and salmon that I cooked too long and I vomited because they got stuck.

Everyone doesn't have the same post-op diet, but it seems you are pushing this one quite a bit. I was still on liquids at three weeks. I didn't have any raw veggies or raw fruits until 3 months. Yes, there are some people who's doctors have a different plan. When I wanted other foods, I just looked at the sores on my belly and remembered that it was a huge one of those on my stomach. I also looked at the surgery pics my doc gave me. I was terrified of having something get caught in the wound, and stomach acid causing an ulcer, then getting a hole. Thoughts like that while not too pretty, helped keep me on my diet plan.

Truth: The scale has been sitting at the same friggin weight since last week. Actually I gained two pounds, still having "woman" issues too. * sigh*

I stalled at three weeks too. Most everyone does. I watched my weight and found a pattern. I gain about 2 days before my TOM, stall the whole week, lose the week afterwards quickly, then lose the next week slowly, then stall again. At 6 months out, I am only losing about 3-5 pounds a month. This is okay with me. I am not too careful about what I eat.

I didn't put this as a pity party but I'm just wondering why I never thought to google "sleeve didn't work for me" before having this surgery. LOL!

I think it is normal to have the fears that I am going to be the one who this didn't work for. I will fail again, and this time I have a lot of money invested. I have had a LOT of fears. And with 80 pounds lost, the thought still crosses my mind, when I know that even if I stopped losing today halfway to goal, I would still be a success.

Its like, if I'm going to stay overweight, I can't even eat the crap I used to want to eat with enjoyment now.

You will be able to eat anything before you know it. It seemed like forever to me. I worried 'What if I can never eat this again?' many times over.

Some things that helped me and maybe can help you too.

Early out, I ate small meals every 2-3 hours. I tried to choose Protein first because it was what my body needed. If I wanted more carbs, I tried to keep it to only once or twice a day. Now I eat 3 meals and 1-2 Snacks at 6 months out.

Learn about slider foods, high calorie foods that you can pack a lot into a little space, like shakes, chips, chocolates. Unlike many others, I don't totally avoid these foods, but I have to be much more careful about it.

Even though I am obsessive about weighing (2-3 times a day), I only log my weight once a week. AND I have to log it or I get obsessed about the today and forget to look at the big picture.

Take measurements now and keep them handy. Even when you are not losing weight, you will often lose inches.

Keep the largest pants you ever wore. When you are feeling down, put them on and take a look in the mirror.

Others may have good ideas too. What works for one doesn't always work for others. I am not the strictest about eating healthy or keeping my carbs down. I am more about balance. I didn't do this to be another diet, rather to be a new lifelong way of eating. It works much slower because of that, so I have to remember that was my choice when I get to comparing myself to others.

Keep in touch.

[Tiffykins 672]

The surgeon operated on your stomach, not your brain, and all the mental aspects of your eating habits and behaviors are on you to fix, and not the responsibility of the sleeve.

If you're eating off plan, snacking/grazing, you've done nothing to change the habits that got us fat, right? I suggest setting a meal plan, eating your prescribed post-op diet, getting to a support group, or start some sort of counseling that should be easy accessible for you being a military spouse that has experience with bariatric patients. If you need information on getting some counseling set up, contact your PCP or your surgeon, my program with the MTF has a psych that I can see anytime for the rest of my life without needing a referral.

Stalls are super common, and expected. But, any and all of the weight loss surgery options are only going to work so much for you. You have to be committed to making positive changes in your eating, and behaviors. I've stated 1000s of times on this board that losing weight is easy if you follow your plan, changing habits, breaking bad habits, and changing your relationship with food are the challenges that we all face after bariatric surgery.

[USMCwifeandTEACHER 3]

I think I'm still processing all of this. The stress I think is causing me to want to go back to food because that was like my only reward.

I'm a full time grad student in a rigorous program, two kids under the age of four, and am searching for a position for next year because my husband is exiting the military due to injuries sustained in combat. I've been in counseling for a long time now. I'm dealing with an abusive childhood. I didn't realize my childhood was abusive until I started talking about it and people would stare at me like... "that's not normal."

So... there you have it. All of these demons are being purged at once and its hard. I really like the fact that people are willing to respond and say "you can do it."

You all are so very helpful. I really appreciate that. I'm going to go to the park today and walk. I think I should leave the house today and break this love/hate relationship I have with my laptop.

[Rev Me Up! 75]

The one thing that is for sure, we all stall at 3-5 weeks - every single one of us.

Now, what you are eating is not optimal, but in the long run it could be detrimental because you are not focusing on the Protein. Eating an apple is not the end of the world. Trying to live with your sleeve for the first 6 weeks is torture. It doesn't matter if you have a hectic life or an abusive childhood - this is the hardest part of your sleeve transition. Do your best to reach for some Protein before anything else. You will fill up on it very quickly and the other stuff won't have room to get in. I was eating 6 times a day early out because my portions were so small. I always packed specific foods and took them with me so I knew I had "legal" food and it was easier for me to eat.

No one said this was going to be easy...