I just thought this would be a fun way to vent!

Today I saw someone I haven't seen in awhile. When I told her how I was losing weight (after she commented on it and asked), she said she knew someone who had "that" surgery and gained all the weight back after a year. Then she said she didn't know how anyone could really be happy not being able to eat normally. My response was that I was happy and I love my sleeve. Some people!

Wow, well what a weird week it has been.

Basically after a lot of soul searching I decided to let people know about my surgery this week, largely because people who didn't know were starting to use me as some sort of example to beat themselves and other people with, and I always vowed that I would not let my surgery hurt other people.

So ironically all positive responses so far from the people who are just finding out, but ASTONISHED by hurtful comments made this week by one of my very best friends, and my own DH!!

Firstly, the reason I hadn't spoken to our extended family about my surgery was because my in-laws can be very jusdgemental, and my DH didn't want me to have to deal with their opinions (a wise choice in my opinion, although I'd have happily taken the risk), as its been 7 months of smoke and mirrors we had a big heart to heart and he agreed to speak to hisn parents about it. We had a big conversation about how they might react, and would they say I've cheated etc etc etc, and he was brilliantly supportive and re-assuring.

So he makes the call to tell them, and obviously just can't find the right words to explain fully, so I find him saying "Oh yeah Mum, make no bones about it, she cheated!" - What a complete dim whit!!!!

So I am not best impressed by that, but its not exactly killing me either.

Then this afternoon I go and see a friend for coffee, my friend has known a while, and was very supportive to begin with, but then got really upset (and told me so) when I started updating my weight loss achievements on facebook etc, so in fairness to her I have not discussed weight loss, diet etc etc etc with her, or publicly where she might see it since because I am not in the business of upsetting my friends. We are sat having coffee when she turns to me out of the blue and says "I've figured something out about your surgery, if it is working you must have really eaten like a pig before! I hardly eat anything! So I might be bigger than you, but at least I've never eaten like a pig!!!"

My friend is going through horribly tough times at the moment, so I didn't begin to get into a slanging match with her over it, but seriously WTF????

Well I am still stinging from that, and just feel like the people I felt able to rely on clearly have no idea at all!

Are you seriously kidding me right now??? Wow... I don't even know what I would've responded to that. Sometimes if it's someone really close to me, I just straight out tell them that what they told me was outright hurtful. That will usually get them to immediately retract and apologize. I don't think there's any other way to address these, and honestly IMO it might be a good idea. You don't deserve to be treated that way at all!!!

I try not to say much about it. I usually end up taking everything too personally.

I never told anyone but my boss before the surgery. I asked him to tell others a week before I came back. ( I was out 2 weeks.) When I came back & they saw the weight loss. I got support & I was asked to explain the surgery. Several have asked me to talk to there wife or husband. Several have broke down after finding out there was hope for them. Two have already made appointments & 3 are checking there insurance.

The last 3 years I went to 3 doctors for weight loss & NO ONE mentioned surgery! This is a gift & the word needs to be spread.

I really didn't have problems with people saying hurtful things except their concern about me going to Mexico alone. The most hurtful thing to me is people not saying anything when they know I've had the surgery............

One of my aunts, the one who is 80% bliind, MO, diabetic and completely dependent on her kids for help with everything from grocery shopping to eating, made a comment about my getting to "cheat". I bit my tongue on commenting that SHE is my inspiration to have this surgery. I want to live long enough to be a burden to my kids, but not in my 50's!!!

OTOH, one of my other aunts, who is raising an adopted daughter (12 years old) with weight issues, has been very supportive. They have been studying proper food choices and nutrition and this aunt actually calls me for help when she runs into problems dealing daughter's obesity. Because this aunt is not heavy, she doesn't understand the concept of "head hunger". Over the last two years, my cousin has lost a good bit of weight, partially due to the retraining on nutrition and partly because she has grown several inches. However, she's still battling the concept of "eat everything in sight because there may not be any tomorrow" brought on by parents who would buy booze and drugs rather than food. THAT is a tough issue to overcome for a kid.

Other family and friends are joking that I'm the guinea pig. They're all watching to see how I do before they research having surgery of their own. THAT's when I'll have the last laugh on the nay-sayers. I'll be healthy and thin while they're still struggling with whether it's right for them.

One of my aunts, the one who is 80% bliind, MO, diabetic and completely dependent on her kids for help with everything from grocery shopping to eating, made a comment about my getting to "cheat". I bit my tongue on commenting that SHE is my inspiration to have this surgery. I want to live long enough to be a burden to my kids, but not in my 50's!!!

OTOH, one of my other aunts, who is raising an adopted daughter (12 years old) with weight issues, has been very supportive. They have been studying proper food choices and nutrition and this aunt actually calls me for help when she runs into problems dealing daughter's obesity. Because this aunt is not heavy, she doesn't understand the concept of "head hunger". Over the last two years, my cousin has lost a good bit of weight, partially due to the retraining on nutrition and partly because she has grown several inches. However, she's still battling the concept of "eat everything in sight because there may not be any tomorrow" brought on by parents who would buy booze and drugs rather than food. THAT is a tough issue to overcome for a kid.

Other family and friends are joking that I'm the guinea pig. They're all watching to see how I do before they research having surgery of their own. THAT's when I'll have the last laugh on the nay-sayers. I'll be healthy and thin while they're still struggling with whether it's right for them.

Please get the book "Rethinking Thin" . This will help your aunt very much. I got mine from Amazon.

Walked into work & a friend says "Why would you get a surgery like that!"

I said "Dumb-ass to lose weight."

My sister in law said "you let them just throw your stomach in the trash?". I have lost 44 lbs in 8 weeks. No mention about how much better I look and feel. get other support though.

Hahaha, oh lord. My mother had an even more pessimistic view, I guess, as she said I would be killed, dismembered, and disposed of in a dumpster behind the hospital, so she wasn't expecting to get my body back. :tongue2:

Ha sounds like my dad. He told me if I tried to go overseas that I'd come back either in a box or missing half of my organs. Gotta love family; don't have to like them though