I just thought this would be a fun way to vent!

Today I saw someone I haven't seen in awhile. When I told her how I was losing weight (after she commented on it and asked), she said she knew someone who had "that" surgery and gained all the weight back after a year. Then she said she didn't know how anyone could really be happy not being able to eat normally. My response was that I was happy and I love my sleeve. Some people!

Wow, people are pathetic! You know these same people talk crap behind your back because your fat. Nobody gets what it's like to be obese and yo-yo diet your entire life, unless your in our shoes. I went through amedically supervised protein liquid diet and spent $4K on it. After losing 50 I gained it all back, so I know people are thinking or talking. I'm not telling anyone except my close friends. The rest can KMA!

Oops, sorry for the double post. My fat thumb can't type, lol!

Becca -- tell 'em to go FTS! Not only do you have to lose weight ignorant people want to dictate how you go

about losing the weight...do people without weight issues assume fat people don't have common sense???

I never thought about having WLS -- despite losing lots of weight only to gain back a lot more weight. I yo-yo

dieted to this weight. Between fat kid camps starting at 11 years old; Optifast in my 30s; I have lost & gained

hundreds of pounds. My decision to get sleeved isn't about vanity -- it is about being able to walk a few blocks

without huffing & puffing; it is about dealing with my health issues (borderline diabetes; high blood pressure;

high cholesterol; knees that ache!) before they get any worse. Until doctors find something else; surgery is the

best thing the medical profession has to offer me as a morbidly obese person. No one decides to remove

3/4 of their stomach on a whim! At least I hope not...

I have told my family & closest friends. I only told a few of my close friends this weekend- now that surgery

is 2 weeks away. I don't want to hear most people's opinions on WLS -- especially people who have never struggled with

obesity. My family & close friends love me unconditionally -- they know I'm not impulsive & I research

everything thoroughly. One of my dearest friends has been reading this forum and watching VSG journey

videos on YouTube -- what a truly generous friend!

I have decided not to tell my family. My sister is a nurse - and teaches nursing - and is dead set against any type of weight loss surgery. A few years ago, one of my friends got the lapband and I was mentioning it in a conversation with my sister. I wasn't like "oh this is so cool" or "I really need to have this done" or anything like that - it just came up in conversation. Well, apparently, my sister thought that meant that I was definitely going to have that surgery and told me that under no certain circumstances was I to also have surgery because they are not safe. I replied that I wasn't thinking of it (which at the time was true) and by the way, he wouldn't be doing the surgery if he hadn't checked it out and thought about it. My sister thinks that I should be able to diet and loose the weight because she was able to do it. Well, I'm not her and never have been. My parents "put a lot of stock" into what she says, so that's why I am not telling them. They just won't understand.

On the flipside, the same day I made my decision to have the surgery, I saw someone who I haven't seen in a few years and her comment to me was "Have you lost weight?". I merely replied no. I didn't bother to go into the fact that I have actually gained weight since she last saw me and I'm at my highest weight ever now. Many people don't realize that I weigh 290 because of the way I carry it on my body - they all think I'm less than 200. Once when I told someone I was dieting and they asked how much I wanted to loose, they almost fainted - they said "You don't have that much to loose!".

So yeah! I don't feel so bad about lying to everyone I know (except my hubby) about my surgery. I have my lie all ready to go when I start being asked if and how much and how I am losing weight. I JUST DO NOT want to hear it. Especially coming from my skinny healthy mom dad and sisters! I was always "the fat one". Ha! Not for very much longer y'all, not for very much longer! And when they ask I will just say " well I don't know how I'm losing weight cuz I'm still eating what ever I want". Then they'll be jealous of me. Lol

Yeah I have decided to tell only a few close friends and of course my husband. My mom had gastric bypass about 6 years ago, lost over 130 pounds and has kept it all off for the entire 6 years. She has been a great resource for me.

I have been so selective in who I tell. I need to surround myself with positive, supportive people. I decided to tell a family friend that is over at our house a lot. I knew it would be hard to keep it from him as he practically lives at our house. Let me also mention, that he is also very overweight. After I told him about the surgery, he was quiet for a minute, then rolled his eyes and said "PLEASE don't try to use this as an excuse to not exercise. That's what everyone tries to do and it's so stupid." I was dumbfounded. I was convinced that he would be supportive and not be just another negative opinion.

So I said "You know what? I do not need or want judgements or advice. I told you because you are here a lot and it will be hard to keep it from you. If you want to be negative about it, that's fine, but you are not going to come here and be negative about it in my house." He said "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound judgmental, but I've had 2 aunts have bypass surgery and they didn't keep up with it and they never exercised and they gained all their weight back. You have to eat a lot of protein and stuff. You need to do your research." Again..... dumbfounded. Do people really think that we just run out and get this surgery like it's nothing? *He* is lecturing me on what my post-op diet is going to be yet he doesn't even know the difference between gastric bypass and the sleeve. Awesome...

Great thread... and some shocking comments!

My experience has been ok so far, nothing too bad.... Ha that changed today.

I had an appointment with the menopause clinic and before I see the doc, I have to see the nurse... a middle aged, sour faced, opinionated ole boot! Anyway, as per proto call... she weighed me... checked back over her records and said 'Oh dear, you've only lost a kilo in over 5 weeks... after your surgery too... that is disappointing isn't it.'

WTH!! I was stunned. I just looked at her ... my reply was feeble Ihave to say 'yea, well I haven't lost much this year to be honest.; Ti which, she happily replied, 'yes, that is disappointing'

On reflection I now realise that I was really dumb in not fighting back... I didn't expect her to mention my weight as I was there about the bloody menopause... God I was soooo cross when they replay of the conversation went through my mind!!!

Grrrrrrr

I'm swearing in my head over here. Sometimes I really hate people.

Okay the actual "comment" was really not that awful or harming, but it was just a reminder for me.

A man who has children at the same school my girls go to was walking by a few weeks ago and I hadn't seen him for a while. Just out of the blue he says "wow, looks like you have lost a lot of weight" and I mumbled a thank you and ended the conversation.

Most people would just consider this a compliment and move on. But the part that was a reminder to me, the slap in the face, that I took away from the comment was just the general fact that we cannot hide our obesity. I happen to know that this man is struggling with alcoholism right now, to the point that his wife asked him to move out and get treatment. I heard this from a 3rd party as I am not super close friends with this family. So his comment to ME, was akin to me walking by him and saying "looks like you been laying off the bottle!"

Of course I would NEVER say that to anyone, even if I did know that they were struggling with a problem. So why do people feel the need to comment on our weight loss, our body shape, etc. It's all visible, no hiding, you can't mask obesity like you can with other addictions, behaviors, or problems. Most of the issues that people have in their lives can be behind closed doors, where obesity is just screaming from your body everywhere you go, everything you do, etc.

I hope this makes sense.

Okay the actual "comment" was really not that awful or harming, but it was just a reminder for me.

A man who has children at the same school my girls go to was walking by a few weeks ago and I hadn't seen him for a while. Just out of the blue he says "wow, looks like you have lost a lot of weight" and I mumbled a thank you and ended the conversation.

Most people would just consider this a compliment and move on. But the part that was a reminder to me, the slap in the face, that I took away from the comment was just the general fact that we cannot hide our obesity. I happen to know that this man is struggling with alcoholism right now, to the point that his wife asked him to move out and get treatment. I heard this from a 3rd party as I am not super close friends with this family. So his comment to ME, was akin to me walking by him and saying "looks like you been laying off the bottle!"

Of course I would NEVER say that to anyone, even if I did know that they were struggling with a problem. So why do people feel the need to comment on our weight loss, our body shape, etc. It's all visible, no hiding, you can't mask obesity like you can with other addictions, behaviors, or problems. Most of the issues that people have in their lives can be behind closed doors, where obesity is just screaming from your body everywhere you go, everything you do, etc.

I hope this makes sense.

That is SO true. Other people can hide their issues. We wear ours around our waist.

Okay, have a new comment!

I saw another parent who I just know casually, she has kids that are different ages than mine and are different tracks (we go to school year-round so all the kids are assigned different "tracks" and we track on and track off throughout the year) but anyway, I don't know her well, and hadn't seen her for a long time. I think she meant this as a compliment:

Her: "What kind of crack are you smoking?"

Me: "What?" (Thoroughly confused!)

Her: "What kind of crack are you smoking that has made you so skinny?"

Me: "Aaaah, I wish it was THAT easy. It would easier than what I've been doing!"

I smiled and kept on walking.

Okay, have a new comment!

I saw another parent who I just know casually, she has kids that are different ages than mine and are different tracks (we go to school year-round so all the kids are assigned different "tracks" and we track on and track off throughout the year) but anyway, I don't know her well, and hadn't seen her for a long time. I think she meant this as a compliment:

Her: "What kind of crack are you smoking?"

Me: "What?" (Thoroughly confused!)

Her: "What kind of crack are you smoking that has made you so skinny?"

Me: "Aaaah, I wish it was THAT easy. It would easier than what I've been doing!"

I smiled and kept on walking.

hahahaha! Funny, and a good response too. Good thing you weren't on crack! That would not have been funny... I'm thinking that lil'crack might be a good nick name for my stomach....

I have a new one and it came from my bff of 25 years. Wasn't sure how to take it but oh well. First lets give you a background she is tall, blonde, blue eyes and thin. I am the exact opposite lol, short (average really at 5'5 but compared to 5'9 short), and was fat, dark brown hair and olive complexion.

Soooooooooo, we are chatting and I told her how much I weighed now and this is the conversation...

Me: I am down to 176 now, can you believe it lol

Her: I have to get a move on then before spring (thats when me and my boy go to visit everyone up north)

Me: (confused) what are you talking about?

Her: You weigh less than me now, and we can't have that!

Wasn't exactly sure what to say after that so I changed the subject. After thinking about it though I should have said what kind of a f*cking comment is that?

I have a new one and it came from my bff of 25 years. Wasn't sure how to take it but oh well. First lets give you a background she is tall, blonde, blue eyes and thin. I am the exact opposite lol, short (average really at 5'5 but compared to 5'9 short), and was fat, dark brown hair and olive complexion.

Soooooooooo, we are chatting and I told her how much I weighed now and this is the conversation...

Me: I am down to 176 now, can you believe it lol

Her: I have to get a move on then before spring (thats when me and my boy go to visit everyone up north)

Me: (confused) what are you talking about?

Her: You weigh less than me now, and we can't have that!

Wasn't exactly sure what to say after that so I changed the subject. After thinking about it though I should have said what kind of a f*cking comment is that?

Hum. I think see sees it as a challenge to her self worth and to your friendship. She will probably go on a diet... which a few of my friends are doing right now! I wouldn't be too mad, she needs time to get used to the idea!

I have a new one and it came from my bff of 25 years. Wasn't sure how to take it but oh well. First lets give you a background she is tall, blonde, blue eyes and thin. I am the exact opposite lol, short (average really at 5'5 but compared to 5'9 short), and was fat, dark brown hair and olive complexion.

Soooooooooo, we are chatting and I told her how much I weighed now and this is the conversation...

Me: I am down to 176 now, can you believe it lol

Her: I have to get a move on then before spring (thats when me and my boy go to visit everyone up north)

Me: (confused) what are you talking about?

Her: You weigh less than me now, and we can't have that!

Wasn't exactly sure what to say after that so I changed the subject. After thinking about it though I should have said what kind of a f*cking comment is that?

Hum, that is pretty rude. I guess I can see someone "thinking" that but to actually say it outloud. Wow. Since she is your BFF, I guess maybe it would be worth talking about/exploring the underlying feelings there. If it was me (and I KNEW someone was going to say something like that to me) I would have responded with "did you just hear yourself? Are you that shallow?" but of course hindsight is 20/20 and you probably won't get the opportunity to go back and say that.