venting

[xxm4ndaaxx 2]

im still pre-op, have one more doctors office weigh in at the end of this month, and then we submit to insurance.

how come it seems like EVERYONE knows someone that had some kind of WLS, and gained it all back?! thats the first thing people say when they find out im getting surgery. "oh, well, i know someone that had -insert surgery here, its a diff one every time-, and they gained it all back within a few months of getting down to goal".

its like NOONE knows anyone that was successful, and i know thats not true, ive spent a good amount of time lurking on here and OH, and it seems like the success rate is fine. and ive already made my decision on VSG, im not changing my mind in anyway.. but im getting frustrated...

my moms even betting on my long term failure... my brother is getting married august '12. so shes on a massive diet for that, but shes doing it "the right way" as she puts it. she said i can do what i want, and she'll support me in that way, but she thinks im being stupid by not just dieting and exercising... exact quote here "you probably will end up being much smaller than me at the wedding, but im willing to bet you 100$ that youll be back to where you are now in 2013" i was like gee thanks ma.. i guess i should start making plans for my $100 :-D maybe some pretty new clothes

ok well im done ranting and raving for now.. im just wondering where all these people are that regained it all are at? since everyone seems to know at least one of them. ugh

[Rootman 1,101]

Like anything mankind does it seems like only the "bad news" travels very far. We don't hear much about success stories because there is no excitement in that, it seems that all we want to hear about is someone failing, getting hurt or doing something stupid.

The success stories are out there, seems like they succeed and get on with their lives. A lot of people who make it don't want to stick around - who can blame them for not wanting to be reminded of where they WERE on a daily basis.

There are a few that stick around, Tiffykins is a prime example http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/user/11-tiffykins/ .

[Beadingnurse 116]

Smile and tell your mom you will TAKE the $100.00 bet. Living in your new slender body in clothes you bought with her hundred bucks will be the best possible response! As for the others, I'd look them straight in the eye, smile, say nothing and walk away. Some folks are just plain toxic and you don't need exposure to that.

[StacyS 20]

I agree!! Take her money and run!!! Flaunt it in her face with a new outfit... You know, I was against the Sleeve in the beginning simply because I have known people who have had the RNY and have regainned weight back. (( Prime example... Carney Wilson )). However, after more and more research about the Band and the Sleeve, here I am getting the Sleeve on 26 April 11. Your mom sounds like a "negative Nancy" regardless if you were dieting and exercising to lose weight or doing surgery. Some people are naturally like that and will never change. Just let it go in one ear and out the other!! I have a lot of people on my mother's side of the family who are like that and I just let it roll off my back. If I didnt, I would be in a constant war with them all the time.

My advice, take the bet. shake hands and make her pay up come 2013!!!! Make her pay again in 2015!! Then again in 2017 when you're STILL at goal and rocking your new body!!

[AnewMe@28 38]

People like that I don't even respond to. I am the type of person once I make my mind up about something that's it you can't tell me nothing. It's my decision and bump what others say and the people they know. I am going to make this work for me.

And mom, I would take that bet and I will be flossing your 100 bucks in the form of new clothes. So thank you.

[MINI-Me 196]

I had some of those same responses from my family as well. Now that I'm at goal, they are worried that I'm too small. Ugh! Get real. Have to have something to "complain" about I guess.

Just take it in stride the best you can. Te failure stories get passed around a lot more than the successes. My theory on why? They are good excuses for people not to get off their duffs and do something for their health. Surgery is not "the easy way". It's a lot of work, pain, and mental tormoil. And, I am worth it!

[Luanne 32]

I think the VSG surgery is the best not only for the $ but long-term help in NOT gaining that weight back. Our sleeve is a tool for a lifetime of help, all we have to do is continue to use it!

I have DID it "the right way" several times in my life and just k-n-e-w I'd never gain it back this last time = ONCE AGAIN--in 2008, I started a doctor-supervised program leading towards WLS, lost 90lbs, did great and then 20 snuck back on, and Sept/Oct/Nov of 2010 I put another 45lbs on from emotional eating (a young friend committed suicide). I was out of control and went to Mexico on December 9, 2010 to have the sleeve done. My only mistake was not to have WLS after the 90 as I still had 20 more to go. It isn't the easy way out but damn better than suffering in shame over gaining it back time 'n time again!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

It's all the people who had gastric bypass who have gained it all back.

People with a band usually don't get down to their goal weight, and still end up gaining weight back after they have such bad acid refulx that they have to have all their fill taken out.

Tell your mother you researched it and this surgery has the best record

for keeping it off. ( unless you start eating a lot of candy and chips every day)

I am going to be celebrating two years soon . I am still not hungry and only gain weight if I decide to go and eat a bunch of junk food. I am able to take it off when I eat Protein first and veggies if I have room.

[jeffrey 3]

Goodness--no offense, but you mother seems like a troubled person. I could never under mine my daughter that way. It is about her, not you. My mom can be that way--a real know it all, and like if someone succeeds where she has not, she has to belittle them. Please ignore her, and maybe don't confide so much in such a toxic person. Choose not to give her such power, so much information. Just do your own thing and let her do hers.

Good luck! I have been researching for over a year and truly believe this tool will be a big help, particularly during moments of frustration or weakness. You can regain or fail to lose around any WLS method if you try hard enough, but if you prepare, commit, then do, I believe you will succeed and remain a success.

BTW I am scheduled for 4/18! In spite of my name, I am a mid-50ish woman. Looking forward to this new life and new relationship with food, and to shopping in the "regular" sizes again!

[iegal 460]

Ah, the haters. Horrible people making you feel bad since you are making a choice to change.

My aunt had gastric bypass in 2000 years ago and has kept it off. She is within 5 pounds of her initial weight loss of 150+ pounds. A couple of friends have had the bypass about 6 plus or less years ago and both of them have kept it off.

No more listening to the negative nellies. Do you want this? Are you willing to commit to changing? You will change...and for the better. We all are on this board to support and cheer each other on. I have reached goal, but I need each of you so I do not eat just a bag of chips, Cookies, other junk all day. My hungries are gone but I still have the capability of bad choices.

I love my sleeve, I hit goal and I have no regrets. Best thing I ever did for myself and I was a self payer in US (insurance denied me twice) Hugs to you!

[AutumnLily 77]

The ones that love you can also be the ones that hurt you the most. Stick to your guns and do what is best for you. In two years time when you are still maintaining do not say anything to your mother as she will know that you are succeeding.

My mom is having a hard time with me having this surgery. She has felt safe in her obesity because she was still smaller than me. Now she is scared that I will be a lot smaller than her in no time. She has tried several times to sabatoge me (making my favourite cookies) making my pre-surgery favourite foods and while eating it is making all these noises of how she is enjoying eating every morsel and then offering me some. I just ignore the behaviour as I have the restraint to not eat those foods. And with me saying no thank you it burns her butt.

I am doing this for my health and not to keep my mother happy that at least someone was still heavier than her. She will have to fight her own demons.

[Papa Jack 86]

I betcha most people do NOT know someone who even had this surgery!

It's like saying to someone who told you "I'm cancer free." then tell them "It will come back."

[thinoneday 445]

im still pre-op, have one more doctors office weigh in at the end of this month, and then we submit to insurance.

how come it seems like EVERYONE knows someone that had some kind of WLS, and gained it all back?! thats the first thing people say when they find out im getting surgery. "oh, well, i know someone that had -insert surgery here, its a diff one every time-, and they gained it all back within a few months of getting down to goal".

its like NOONE knows anyone that was successful, and i know thats not true, ive spent a good amount of time lurking on here and OH, and it seems like the success rate is fine. and ive already made my decision on VSG, im not changing my mind in anyway.. but im getting frustrated...

my moms even betting on my long term failure... my brother is getting married august '12. so shes on a massive diet for that, but shes doing it "the right way" as she puts it. she said i can do what i want, and she'll support me in that way, but she thinks im being stupid by not just dieting and exercising... exact quote here "you probably will end up being much smaller than me at the wedding, but im willing to bet you 100$ that youll be back to where you are now in 2013" i was like gee thanks ma.. i guess i should start making plans for my $100 :-D maybe some pretty new clothes

ok well im done ranting and raving for now.. im just wondering where all these people are that regained it all are at? since everyone seems to know at least one of them. ugh

Actually I do too but this person didn't even put an effort into it. . .so that is her own fault! I'm out almost 2 years now and am maintaining. . I've reached my doctors goal of 212 lbs and have surpassed it to 200 lbs now i balance between 205 - 215 lbs. . I think that is way better then 350 lbs!!!! Our families are weird that way, they will always be the doomsayers because they know we forgive them in the end and continue to love them. . . they are usually very very insecure (especially husbands, boyfriends, and moms). . . good for your mom doing "it the right way" oh but you didn't mention how many times is this that she is doing it the "right" way?????? good luck to you and keep tracking down your path!

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

This sounds kind of like the cr*p pregnant women have to put up with as they near term - everyone tells them stories of their friend/ relative and the horrible delivery they went through. No one tells them of quick relatively painless deliveries. Seems like we all remember the bad news and have a compulsion to share.

Be strong in your resolve to be successful with your sleeve. This formum is a great place to come for support.

Best of luck to you.

[razrbakcrzy 9]

I think you should make her put her money where her mouth is and up the bet to $1000.00 and see how serious she is...I would be willing to bet she wont make that bet because, she is not sure about it.. iIknow I woud be willing to bet I never regain my weight.

I am only 8 weeks out but, I can not eat 1/4 of what i was eating and i had already lost about 100 lbs in 2 years.... This last 140 is where the problem lies. I have always been able to lose 100 lbs but i have never been able to get past that mark or keep it off. I dont think i can eat enough now to sustain more than 240 lbs....even with my turtle slow metabolism.... Good luck!