want to rant

[lolli 3]

Am i the only one that is going through this? I am 5 days post op and havent had a real bite of food in what seems like forever! I find myself watching the food network alot and just dreaming about being able to eat. Today i went to a fast food place with my boyfriend and two of his friends and just sat and watched, as they ate and ate and ate. Then For dinner they decided pizza sounded good, so i again sat and watched as they had delicious pizza. I feel so resentful (my boyfriend is a healthy 160lbs and his friends are also very healthy weights) it just angers me to the point of crying! It angers me how they can sit there and eat all that delicious food and not gain an ounce! It just seems unfair. I know life isnt fair and all that but im just wondering if anyone else finds themselves resetful of thinner friends/family ect. I mean maybe it will get better once im able to eat real food again but right now they joke with me about me drinking my protien shake (haha hows your dinner) as i drink my grose protien while they shove their faces with delicious pizza! GRR i hate myself for being so envious but i just cant help it!

[BonnieJuneE 5]

I totally get where you are coming from about being envious is thin people stuffing their faces and not gaining but I am very confused about something else you said....

If my fiancée (let alone his friends) sat infront of me eating crap that soon after my surgery I may have kicked him. But to then "joke" by saying "how is your dinner?!"...I think he would have had a protien shake dumped over his head and his friends would have gotten a swift kick out the door.

If he isn't going to be supportive and make healthy changes with you (or at least not rub your face in it) then how are you going to be successful down the line?

Do you expect to go right back to eating fast food and pizza? I doubt it...and he needs to understand that and want to support your changes..not mock them.

I know you didn't ask for input on the boyfriend situation but I just couldn't imagine my fiancée being such any ass and putting up with it...and I hope you find the strength to let him know how it makes you feel when he does that.

Be strong and make healthy changes for you! It won't work if you let him drag you down by having that stuff around all the time. :-/

[BonnieJuneE 5]

Sorry for typos and autofixes that don't make sense...on iPhone and rarely proof read while responding. :-)

[Butrcupz622 1]

Hey, it's okay not to like having to witness your boyfriend and his friends stuffing and enjoying themselves but you shouldn't be staying there with them while they do it. Walk away or go do something while they eat and then go back and join in on the conversation. You're not helping the moment by watching them eat nor by watching the food network especially when you haven't eaten in a long time. You might also want to talk to your boyfriend about being more aware of your situation and maybe that can help the way you're feeling, too. Take a breather... before you know it, the time will come when you'll be able to eat. Good luck!

[Cinderella 2]

I am 7 days out, and get what you mean about not being able to eat a bite. I can eat about a "nibble," not even a thimble full of food.... BUT... isn't that WHY you did this?

Everybody's different, but to me food is now repulsive. My husband was chowing down and a big steak and huge (I mean mixing bowl sized) salad last night, and I thought... "My GOD I'll never eat that much food again," but I didn't feel sad, I felt HAPPY!!!

Try to accept that we are different, genetically and hormonally, than our thin friends... but rejoice that you now have the tool.

Try to think in terms of TASTING. Yes, you can't eat the whole enchilada, but soon you will be able to TASTE anything you want. Savor that taste, lick your spoon, chew a long time... be GLAD you got the chance to have a nibble and leave the rest... and have the cute little body to prove it!

Cheer up, you might just be having a bad day. Don't go out with the boyfriend's crew for awhile, and turn the TV channel to something like WHAT NOT TO WEAR.. that might help.

Good luck!

Cinderella

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I do understand the wanting to "chew" your food aspect. I think I was lucky that when I was going through my liquids phase, I just really wasn't craving anything in particular. My desire to eat just really wasn't there.

I also was surrounded by very supportive people too. If anyone tried to rub my nose in it, they would wish they never met me. I just feel like I deserve more respect than that, if it's not given to me I stand up for myself. They call me "Queen" as joke around here sometimes, but I'm okay with that. I don't let anyone treat me badly, and I think EVERY woman deserves that. For without us THEY would not exist.

No, I don't think they should have to drink Protein shakes with you, but a little respect - yes, you deserve that. His friends would have to go if that's how they treated me in my own home!! Then me and little boyfriend would have a bit of a chat, and from then on he would be acting right.

[mp8btpc 32]

I say you tell him you are fixing him a wonderful dinner tonight....then surprise him by putting it all in the blender and serving it to him. Then ask him how his dinner looks?

[lolli 3]

I guess my boyfriends attitude is, I made the decision to do this fully knowing what i was getting myself into and he did not. So hes not going to change the way he eats or hide it from me when he is perfectly skinny. I also think there might be some resentment towards me because i was thin when we got together 5 years ago, and then packed on 100 lbs so he might look at this is me getting what i deserve for making myself fat. =( i dont know... I didnt like the "hows your dinner" joke and i made that clear, that should not happen again. No, i dont plan on going back to my old ways of fast food and pizza when im able to eat again, however I do feel like its going to be a struggle, im not one of the fortunate people that dont seem to crave that anymore. I talked to my boyfriend about how were going to need to change our eating habits once im on regular food again and he seems supportive as long as i cook, (i havent been much of a cooker in the passed so some of the fast food habits can be my fault) I dont know, i just hope this gets easyer, im hoping once im able to sit down and have a few bites of some nice lean chicken with a few veggies on the side I maybe wont be this crazy about wanting to eat everything in sight.... I never coinsidered myself addicted to food but it is deffinately an eye opening experience going through this, it really shows me why i packed on 100 lbs in 5 years and how my eating habits have changed drastically from when i was living at home with mom.....

[pumpkin07 32]

Well, it does seem he was incredibly rude to you. A nice person would not say this to another person they love. It isn't funny, which is why it was rude. We all make mistakes tho. Only you know him best.

My husband, who is far from the most sensitive guy in the room, still has flashbacks of me crying bc I couldn't eat. He pained for me so much. He was so afraid I had made a decision I would regret, but he didn't tell me that at the time. I was a person who really suffered too, bc I just was in a bit of shock (didn't have a lot of preplanning meetings w my doctor). I knew some things, but the reality was so different than what I imagined. It is a hard few days. Harder than I anticipated. The weight loss helps though, because you will begin to see some positive changes. And every day you will get a little better. It might help to really look at the mushies stage and start planning what you will eat then. I didn't understand the mushy stage and could have probably eaten more variety than I did eat.

So flash forward out 10 mos and last night I went to our company party and ate a small dinner salad, quite a few great bites of a really terrific ribeye steak w fresh mushrooms at a party with bites of mashed potatoes and a couple of green Beans. I passed on the bread bc I wanted to eat the steak. That was a huge meal for me, and it took a while. My husband sat next to me and ate the exact meal. I didn't have to have special food.

The point is, this will take time. It is okay to cry. You have nothing to prove here. It is just hard and I understand. Some people that had the band before VSG and they understand the different phases better, so for those of us that went cold turkey it is a bit harder to adjust.

[myrori 55]

I feel bad when people feel like they can't eat because I can't. I have made it perfectly clear to go ahead get what they want. I am responsible to myself. I wanted change,they did not sign up for that change so I should not expect them to. The other day I met a girlfriend for Christmas shopping and lunch. She ordered what she wanted and I had Soup and 2 tsps of her mashed potatoes mixed in the broth. At first she said she felt bad eating in front of me and I told her to stop right there, I wanted this, this is MY situation and that she should not alter her eating based on what I can or can not eat. That relieved all the tension. It takes all my concentration to get in my few spoons of mushies, I can not even worry about the other food around me. I take a bite, make sure it is mushed enough, then swallow and then wait for it to settle in the right place to be able to take another spoonful. That process is all consuming and so filling that the food around me hold not interest for me.

I decided long before the surgery when I was practicing my liquid diet that this was on me, I decided it and could not and would not make others who ate around me feel bad about it, and I told myself I have a goal and I want health so much that I was not going to waste time envying others food or ability to eat what ever came their way.

For me it all boils down to how bad I want weight loss. Sure things smell good and then I remind myself of the goal and how far I have come and it the food is not a problem after that.