I still feel like I had this surgery for the wrong reasons, like I was pushed into it due to having to move cross country w/o a support system there, hubby already took the time off, we already got the loan, didn't know if we would get the $5k we had already paid back, etc...

I've kept a happy face as long as I can. Today I feel like shit and I'm deeply depressed. I've been in bed all day. They apparently used betadine which I am allergic to to prep me and I have a rash all over my stomach (I told them and had it on my bracelet I was allergic) that is driving me nuts, along with a husband asking what's the matter?

I'm really mad at myself for being pushed into something like this. I told the OR staff I had changed my mind but they didn't stop, they just knocked me out and continued.

Back to bed I go... day 5 or 6 or whatever freaking day this is sucks. I can't believe I did this to myself. :001_tongue:

Yes, we are all pulling for you! You are going to be so happy in relatively short amount of time.. and you'll be set to be thinner and healther for life!

I have no doubt that I am going to through depression (probably even in Pre-Op) just because I feel deprived when I can't have what I want. However, my thoughts are going to try to be I just have to get through a about 3-4 weeks, then it will get better and eventually, I'll have what I want:slimmer body, more energy, etc. I can only imagine that is very hard to get your head around the smaller portions. However, I try to remember that everyone always has to stop eating at some point: 2 cookies or 8 cookies, or a whole box. I am not a whole box person, but eat a little too much of everything (of course, otherwise I wouldn't be here). Everyone has to decide if they can do a life of salads and 1-2hr workout a day (I can't, my sisters do, and still aren't thin.) or do whatever to have the discpline to loose and keep the weight off. I am choosing surgery because I am so tired of having so many clothes in different sizes, and being envious of skinny people and not wanting to travel or go on trips with people because I am fat.

I have to burn 192,500 calories to equal the 55 pounds I want to loose. Assuming I could "walk it off"-it would take about 1925 trips to the gym. And that is assuming I don't eat an extra cookie or calories to add on that 100 calories burned at the gym. Some may question my math here, but whether you burn 100-400 calories, in this day and age, with all the good, fatting food, it is hard to stay a low calorie diet, and hard to create the deficit long term..at least for me.

Maybe back in the day, when food was scarce, my appetite, low metabolism would be ideal, but this day and age--I feel at a disadvantage. Sure a pill would be nice, but the body always finds a way around it, due to natural instincts. There are always side effects too. To me, this sound like the best way to help. Small portions so you don't starve and moderation with foods you like. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a free ride. There is still work and it won't be easy. But I've got to believe it will get easier!

I am looking forward to the day when I go to the gym to be "healthy" and not doing it to be punished and burn calories as the main focus.

Just think what a powerful tool you have! You'll be able to have the best of both worlds once healed!

You all can remind me my little speech here in a few weeks, because I'll probably be saying "what I have done!" too! But at this point, I am excited and looking forward to a new, thinner life and a more level playing field.

Also, I just got in "Shrink Yourself" by Roger Gould regarding emotional eatting, because I know it will be weird to eat such a small amount. I am not one of those persons who eats out of saddness, etc, but food is always on mind and I know that learning to focus on other things in life would be helpful. I also feel like it is 'unfair' when I can't eat what I want. I am alway thinking about the next meal, so I hope that I can find an easier way focus on other things. My Dr. recommended this book.

So..to wrap up..just try to get past the next few weeks, knowing you'll have a better life, thinner and happier.. maybe focus on the others who have been successful and soon you'll be one of them!

Fabulous post! :thumbup1:

Yes, we are all pulling for you! You are going to be so happy in relatively short amount of time.. and you'll be set to be thinner and healther for life!

I have no doubt that I am going to through depression (probably even in Pre-Op) just because I feel deprived when I can't have what I want. However, my thoughts are going to try to be I just have to get through a about 3-4 weeks, then it will get better and eventually, I'll have what I want:slimmer body, more energy, etc. I can only imagine that is very hard to get your head around the smaller portions. However, I try to remember that everyone always has to stop eating at some point: 2 cookies or 8 cookies, or a whole box. I am not a whole box person, but eat a little too much of everything (of course, otherwise I wouldn't be here). Everyone has to decide if they can do a life of salads and 1-2hr workout a day (I can't, my sisters do, and still aren't thin.) or do whatever to have the discpline to loose and keep the weight off. I am choosing surgery because I am so tired of having so many clothes in different sizes, and being envious of skinny people and not wanting to travel or go on trips with people because I am fat.

I have to burn 192,500 calories to equal the 55 pounds I want to loose. Assuming I could "walk it off"-it would take about 1925 trips to the gym. And that is assuming I don't eat an extra cookie or calories to add on that 100 calories burned at the gym. Some may question my math here, but whether you burn 100-400 calories, in this day and age, with all the good, fatting food, it is hard to stay a low calorie diet, and hard to create the deficit long term..at least for me.

Maybe back in the day, when food was scarce, my appetite, low metabolism would be ideal, but this day and age--I feel at a disadvantage. Sure a pill would be nice, but the body always finds a way around it, due to natural instincts. There are always side effects too. To me, this sound like the best way to help. Small portions so you don't starve and moderation with foods you like. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a free ride. There is still work and it won't be easy. But I've got to believe it will get easier!

I am looking forward to the day when I go to the gym to be "healthy" and not doing it to be punished and burn calories as the main focus.

Just think what a powerful tool you have! You'll be able to have the best of both worlds once healed!

You all can remind me my little speech here in a few weeks, because I'll probably be saying "what I have done!" too! But at this point, I am excited and looking forward to a new, thinner life and a more level playing field.

Also, I just got in "Shrink Yourself" by Roger Gould regarding emotional eatting, because I know it will be weird to eat such a small amount. I am not one of those persons who eats out of saddness, etc, but food is always on mind and I know that learning to focus on other things in life would be helpful. I also feel like it is 'unfair' when I can't eat what I want. I am alway thinking about the next meal, so I hope that I can find an easier way focus on other things. My Dr. recommended this book.

So..to wrap up..just try to get past the next few weeks, knowing you'll have a better life, thinner and happier.. maybe focus on the others who have been successful and soon you'll be one of them!

Thanks Diva! Can't wait to hear about your surgery and success journey!

Thanks you too! Definitely keep in touch! It will be interesting to hear how your type surgery does. :confused1:

Thanks Diva! Can't wait to hear about your surgery and success journey!

I had a breakdown on around day 5 I went to my room and sobbed and sobbed. I was scared I had done something I shouldn't have and that I was going to have a leak and end up back in surgery and that freaked me out. I was peaved because I am a low BMI'er and felt like I should be stronger and should have been able to do this on my own. I was depressed I spent the money and wiped out a good portion of savings while there are so many things I could do with the money. I thought God was mad at me. I was having a terrible day. I came out of my room and my son was standing outside my door, he could hear me crying apparently and though he is 11 he was teary eyed asking me if I was ok. I gave him a hug and assured him that I was physically fine and that I was just emotional over everything and that I would be A OK. I took a half an ativan and we all went to be early. I felt better after some sleep but I still was feeling low.

I can tell you that now only 14 days later I am feeling so much stronger physically and emotionally. I can drink normally now. I don't feel like I am just struggling to sip. I am craving regular food and I take that as a good sign. I am eating my mushy food and enjoying each and every new food I add to it. I have seen the scale move 15 pounds already and I know it is too late to go back but I am going to work this sleeve like it was made too.

I even had a small piece of custard pie (not the crust) on Sunday. Things get more normal and you start feeling like yourself again. I find myself forgetting about the surgery already and not being so aware of it and that is amazing to me.

Your going to adjust, some days will suck but when you start feeling better and your body starts feeling "normal", you will feel like YOU just a you with a smaller tummy :confused1:

AmyN great post.

Hi Carrie,

I experienced a lot of the same "what did I do to myself" emotions for the first couple weeks after surgery. What helped was to remind myself that the exhaustion, nausea, and severe food restriction that I was experiencing would be short-lived, and that as my healing progressed, I would feel better. When you feel miserable, it's hard to have confidence there are better days close at hand, and that you've made a healthy choice. Even though I knew what to expect, the way that I felt for the first month was pretty lousy, and to be honest, I was scared that I might feel that way indefinitely.

Let me reassure you: The nausea passes, your energy will return, you will be able to swallow more easily, and before you know it, you will be able to eat small satisfying portions of most foods (I haven't found any foods that I can't tolerate easily).

As a mother and grandmother, I have learned that when a child is in pain, the words that seem to bring the most comfort are: "You are fine...you are going to be OK...I know this hurts, but it will get better soon." That's what I wanted desperately to hear after my surgery--and I didn't have anyone else to say it to me, so I repeatedly said it to myself. Now I can honestly say that this surgery was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Amen Ladies!

Hi Carrie...just checking in on you.

How are you feeling today?

Are you drinking your fluids?

Hi Carrie - hang in there! I'm 3 weeks post-op and finally beginning to feel like I'm gaining some energy. I've heard wonderful things about Dr. Castro (I'm in the DFW area, too). Just call the doctor's office with any issues you're having... especially the depression.. they will work with you. I promise, it will get better.. just get plenty of rest, fluids and protein... and don't overdo it. You're going to do great!

Oh man, I said the same thing on day 4 "WHAT THE HELL DID I DO"

I am now 6 days post-op and things are starting to get better. Food is going down a little better. Just kick up the protein, It helps. I am right where you are so if you need to talk give me a click

Debbie

Poor thing. I remember feeling the same way...the "what have I done?" thing is just something natural that will go away. I remember pretending that it wasn't an optional surgery, it was medically necessary like getting your gall bladder out or something. But it won't be long before you're excited to get up in the morning so you can get on the scale! Just remember that it's not the end of the world, it's just portion control. Keep us posted and keep coming back for support. We're all here for each other.

Hello...This is my first posting ever, I am scheduled for lapband to sleeve revision next month. I am finding it curious that so many people mention how it bothers them that people eating near you or you not being able to eat is bothersome. I thought the part of your stomach that engages hunger is removed and that not being able to eat is not as stressful as it is with the band...am I wrong about this?

I've noticed in the last few days that it is a struggle to sit while others eat their dinner. I know I'm supposed to take 30 minutes to eat... but honestly, it just doesn't take that long. I ended up not going to two parties this weekend because I couldn't handle the thought of being around food, alcohol, sodas, and swimming. Been banned from swimming until completely healed (doc didn't want to risk infection). I don't feel hungry at the dinner table, but the head hunger can be a monster sometimes..

How do people handle business dinners? I'm going to a very nice dinner in Vegas next month... will be well over $100 per person pre-set dinner and I'm going to have 3 or 4 bites? Will be in a hotel, so no leftovers going back to the room. I can't imagine having that kind of money spent on me, and then have to sit and wait for the others to finish... Going to my first group meeting tomorrow night... can't wait to ask that question...

I did just pull a lot of old clothes from my closet that I won't be wearing next month ... donating tomorrow! Now that feels super good! Down 27 lbs. Post op 4 weeks today. :001_unsure:

I go to business events all the time, and the reality is nobody notices that I'm not eating much. I put some food on my fork, wave it around a little, put it back on my plate, pick it up, wave it around a little more, eat a bite, talk a little, take a tiny sip of my drink, nibble on a tiny bit of my dinner roll, put a little more food on my fork, wave it around a little, put it back on the plate, wave it around a little more, put it back, repeat until dinner is over. If anybody says anything, I say "it's very good but I'm just not very hungry tonight," and that's that. But I make it a game to pretend to eat and it almost never comes up!

I go to business events all the time, and the reality is nobody notices that I'm not eating much. I put some food on my fork, wave it around a little, put it back on my plate, pick it up, wave it around a little more, eat a bite, talk a little, take a tiny sip of my drink, nibble on a tiny bit of my dinner roll, put a little more food on my fork, wave it around a little, put it back on the plate, wave it around a little more, put it back, repeat until dinner is over. If anybody says anything, I say "it's very good but I'm just not very hungry tonight," and that's that. But I make it a game to pretend to eat and it almost never comes up!

This is my experience to a "T". I think we're a little arrogant to think people really pay us that much attention. We're the ones with the food issues, not other people. I don't want to watch other people eat, and I'm pretty sure few to zero people notice that I'm not gorging myself.

I've been open about my surgery with my social circle, but I attend numerous functions monthly that revolve around food with strangers. And guess what, people just don't care. I never get asked "why aren't you eating?" nor do I hear "is something wrong with your food?". Early out (like 3-4 months out) when I was playing it safe with mushies, Soups, etc, one server did ask me a couple of times if I was sure the food was "okay". I assured her it was fabulous, and asked for a to-go container. No biggie at all.

I think if/when we don't make a big deal about it, others follow suit. I refuse to miss out on a fabulous social event/function just because I eat the same amount of as most 3 year olds. It's a wonderful world of fellowship, friendship, and fun when food isn't the primary focus of the night! ! !

Edited September 8, 201015 yr by Tiffykins