deletedsally

WhooHoo! Way to go Restoration!!! Great job being assertive and getting a second opinion and also taking good care of yourself by getting some counseling! I think you are going to be really glad not to have to postponed your surgery. Congratulations! I agree with those who have suggested that there is usually a physiological component to the problem of overeating. I can only pray that the wonderful experience that I have had with VSG continues for the rest of my life, because I just don't feel inclined to overeat anymore, and I would never want to go back to the constant hunger, feeling guilty when I ate, and/or the preoccupation with food. I still love food and I still enjoy cooking and eating occasional treats--but honestly, the food doesn't "call my name" the way it used to--and I don't feel deprived at all. I have had two adults, a 2 yr old, and a 4 yr old living in my home since August. They bring in donuts, pastries, pies, Cookies, ice cream, chips, etc...on a regular basis. Not only that, I'm cooking large meals almost every night of the week. The bottom line is that I am literally surrounded by all kinds of food and it just doesn't matter. I eat when I'm hungry. I don't have to work hard to make healthy choices, because even my preferences seem to have changed. Every now and then, I am thrilled to go out to eat and order a special dessert and take 2 bites. I bring the rest home and share it. On at least 4 occasions, I have brought home a dessert that I intended keep for myself to have a few bites of each day and then I ended up throwing it out several days later because I had forgotten about it. COME ON...FORGOTTEN a special dessert from a restaurant???? Not in my past life. Ever. There is all kinds of emerging research on the "brain" in the stomach. For me, this surgery has taken that stomach brain that was destroying me out the the driver's seat and finally, given me back a sense of dignity, responsibility, and self-control.

I agree that there may be persons who are diagnosed with an Eating Disorder not otherwise specified. However, the person asking the original question did not feel that she had an eating disorder, and questioned the judgment and ethics of the person who evaluated her. That is why I suggested that she could look at her own "diagnosis" and compare it to the criteria before deciding how to proceed. My other comment was more directed toward the following comment which was made in another post: "Exactly, like someone above said, according to these, almost any obese person has an eating disorder. And every North American between Thanksgiving and Christmas". I will repeat myself, that is not accurate.

Actually that is not accurate. It's a little confusing, but to meet the criteria for the diagnosis, you must meet ALL the criteria. (A through E) and if you notice, under section D, it clearly states that the binge eating episode (as characterized in section A) and associated with behaviors in section B, must have occured an average of 2 days a week for six months and be accompanied by marked distress (section C). This is very different than someone who pigs out around the holidays.

Defining characteristics of Binge Eating Disorder: Binge eating disorder is a relatively recently recognized disorder (it is sometimes referred to as compulsive overeating). Some researchers believe it is the most common of the eating disorders affecting millions of Americans. Similar to bulimia nervosa, those with binge eating disorder frequently consume large amounts of food while feeling a lack of control over their eating. However, this disorder is different from bulimia nervosa because people with binge eating disorder usually do not purge (i.e. vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise, etc) their bodies of the excess food they consume during a binge episode. Diagnostic Criteria: DSM-IV A. Recurrent episodes of binge eating. An episode is characterized by: 1. Eating a larger amount of food than normal during a short period of time (within any two hour period) 2. Lack of control over eating during the binge episode (i.e. the feeling that one cannot stop eating). B. Binge eating episodes are associated with three or more of the following: 1. Eating until feeling uncomfortably full 2. Eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry 3. Eating much more rapidly than normal 4. Eating alone because you are embarrassed by how much you're eating 5. Feeling disgusted, depressed, or guilty after overeating C. Marked distress regarding binge eating is present D. Binge eating occurs, on average, at least 2 days a week for six months E. The binge eating is not associated with the regular use of inappropriate compensatory behavior (i.e. purging, excessive exercise, etc.) and does not occur exclusively during the course of bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa. *From the DSM-IV, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition, Washington D.C.: American Psychiatric Association, 1994.

We could go into all kinds of possible reasons why your body is doing what it is doing, but the bottom line is that it doesn't matter. You are fine. You are experiencing what most of us do, and it passes. I've grumbled about slow weight loss and little stalls since about the 3rd week after my surgery, but look at my ticker. What in the world do I have to complain about? We all get frustrated and scared when the scale doesn't budge. Try your best to ignore it, follow the guidelines, and trust the process. You are gonna be great!

Several years ago, my (now deceased) husband lost from around 260 to around 185 and I had lost a significant amount of weight as well. We never measured the length of anything--but I can tell you that as we had gotten fatter, I think we had adjusted and adjusted until we had almost forgotten the way sex was really supposed to feel. Then when we lost weight, it was like..."OMG...look what we were missing..." The physiological mechanics are very different when a huge belly is not acting as a wedge that prevents the object from actually reaching the target.

Hi Restoration, I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and I truly believe that therapy is a great way for some people get help with problems, heal from old wounds, find new opportunities for healthier relationships, and learn to lead more fullfilling, productive lives. I say that to let you know that I am definitely not anti-therapy. However, I am thoroughly disillusioned and annoyed with the attitude that most medical and mental health professionals have toward obesity. The fact that you are 140 pounds suggests to me that you are struggling with a complex set of genetic and metabolic issues. I obviously don't know enough about you to give an opinion about whether or not you have an eating disorder--but at this point, what you have described about yourself would not meet the criteria for any kind of diagnosis. You can look up the diagnostic criteria for eating disorders online and see if you meet the criteria. That's not to say that counseling wouldn't be a good experience, or improve the quality of your life--I just don't think it's going to help with maintaining a permanent weight loss. I was at 283 when I had my surgery. Prior to my decision to have surgery, I had previously reached my pre-marriage weight of 140-150 four different times through strict dieting efforts (Weight Watchers, Diet Center, etc...). After gaining the weight back each time, I pathologized myself by going to Overeater's Anonymous (and drove 1 1/2 hours with two children to get there). I had sponsors. I went to meetings. I walked. I went to the gym. I wore a pedometer everywhere I went. I sat in smoke filled AA meetings with alcoholics when I couldn't find an OA meeting because I was desperate to keep the weight off and willing to go to any length to beat myself into making healthy choices with food. I went to a therapist and placed myself on a food addiction plan with no sugar, wheat, or flour (which I adhered to for years at a time.) Is that how I would have treated myself if I had been a diabetic? Hardly. I would have gotten medical attention for a medical problem. I wish I had known about VSG years ago and been able to afford it. Any unhealthy relationship I had with food was only exacerbated by years of dieting and my self-imposed "treatments." My questions to you would be this: 1) Who decided who would do your psych eval? Could you have chosen someone else? Can you request a second opinion? 2) Did the evaluation go directly to you, or did you already release it to someone else? 3) If you have a copy of it, is there a Diagnosis section that would list an Axis I diagnosis? If yes, type the name of the diagnosis into your computer search engine along with the keywords, "diagnositic criteria". You should find a site that would give you a specific set of criteria that have to be met before a diagnosis can me made. 4) Did you pay for the evaluation, or was it covered by your insurance? Most insurance companies require a mental health diagnosis on the claim form before they pay for mental health services. The unfortunate truth is that most mental health professionals will pick out some diagnosis (even if the client doesn't exactly qualify), because it's one of the hoops they have to jump through to get paid. 5) If you believe you have been improperly diagnosed, contact the professional who did the evaluation and request that they remove the diagnosis (which can permanently affect your medical history). If the professional refuses to comply, and you still believe you have been improperly diagnosed, you can tell them that you will file a complaint with the state licensure board for improper diagnosis and possible fraudulent insurance billing if the issue can't be resolved in a satisfactory manner. If you decide to just accept the label that has been attached to you and pursue the 3 months counseling, I would definitely insist on seeing a different professional than the one that did your evaluation, because your ability to trust has already been compromised. Therapy will always be more helpful if you trust the person you are working with. Take care and keep us posted!

HAHAHAHA...So if any of you have ever been to O2BKids, you will have seen the netted climbing structures of connected tubes, tunnels, slides, (and so on) that extend about 40 feet into the air. Well...I took my grandchildren yesterday to visit their other grandparents and they wanted to take the kids to O2BKids. Of course the first thing the 2 year old and the 4 year old wanted to do was to scramble straight to the top of the nets. A few minutes later, when the two year old started wailing and claimed to be stuck, the other grandparents were wringing their hands and talking about looking for an employee. Not necessary...'cause SpiderNana just climbed up to the rescue. 8 months ago I could barely walk--climbing anything with my feet would have been an impossibility--and I wouldn't have fit through the tubes anyway...It feels like this surgery has taken about 20 years off my age. I just love it!! Crossed into ONEDERLAND this morning!!

I get my vitamins at a health food store. I take the adult chewable by Nature's Plus and a Calcium Citrate chewable by Solaray. Neither one of these upset my stomach. I steer clear of anything sweetened with aspartame or sucralose.

Thanks Skeebo! I haven't been on the forum much lately because with my grandchildren living with me, I stay so busy, that I can't find much time to be on the computer. I just took the kids hiking in the Suwannee River State Park today. Imagine that! The grandma that couldn't even hobble down to the shoreline to play at the beach a year ago because her feet hurt so bad, is now hiking! I love it! Congratulations on your sleeve surgery, and on the new granddaughter! I wish us both many more years of being healty, active grandmas! Kathy

Hi Carrie, I'm sure that I don't have "all the pieces" that would help me understand your situation. One thing is clear, you are angry. My experience as a counselor is that anger is a secondary emotion. The emotion that usually comes first is one that leaves us feeling diminished in some way...hurt, unloved, devalued, powerless, etc... It does sound as though you tried to assert yourself in the final moments before surgery, and you feel that the anesthesiologist ignored your true wishes and used medication to render you powerless to object. I agree that this should be brought to his attention and that some type of action should be taken to ensure that he is more careful in the future. However, my bigger concern is that this may help someone else, but it's not likely to help you very much. Here's what I mean: Several people have suggested that you need to deal with your anger toward your husband. I tend to see it a little differently. As a woman who used to be married to a self-absorbed, controlling husband, I had to face the painful truth: I was married to a man who could not be trusted to pay attention to other people's interests. He could not be trusted to be kind and thoughtful. He could not be trusted to be supportive. If we define love as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth" (Scott Peck), my husband didn't even understand the meaning of the word. I know our situations are different, but from your posts, it sounds as though you are experiencing some similar dynamics with your husband. I was hurt and angry for years, and I let it eat me alive. When I started to feel better was when I started exploring the reasons that I was choosing to give this person power in my life. Your power to chose to say no to surgery may have been snatched from you by the anesthesiologist at the last minute...but as best I can tell, you had many opportunities to say no to this surgery before you were given the Versed...and it sounds like you are saying that you moved forward with a surgery you didn't really want to please your husband. You don't owe any of us an answer or an explanation...but you deserve an explanation that will allow you to change so that you don't continue to give up your right to make decisions that you feel good about. Most women have a hard time learning to take care of themselves...we are trained to take care of everyone else first. I wish you only the best and I hope you will feel free to PM any of us if we can help and if you would rather not have your questions/comments open to feedback from the community as a whole.

Let me explain a little...I am very happy about my weight loss--and truthfully, after having lost a lot of weight on a variety of diets in the past, I can honestly say that this is the easiest 70 pounds that I have ever lost. My concern is that a big portion of the weight that I have lost was in the first 3 months. I have only lost 3 pounds in the last month. Even that is better than nothing, but I still weigh 213 pounds, and I have a lot more weight that I would like to lose. I'm scared/disappointed because in the last 2 months, the amount that I can eat has increased significantly, my appetite has increased, and my weightloss has slowed to a crawl. If I were closer to a reasonable goal weight, I would be less concerned about that--but it feels like the reduction in the amount of restriction that I feel is happening too soon. When I compare the amount of food that I am able to eat to what others in my family are eating, it seems to me that I can eat almost normal sized adult portions. That definitely was not the case 2 months ago. I'm afraid that if this pattern continues, that at the end of a year or two, I will not have enough restriction to prevent me from overeating, and I don't want to lose that. Even so, if I didn't lose another pound, I would have no regrets about having had the surgery. My health and the quality of my life have improved dramatically. I just got back from a 5 day vacation with my children and grandchildren. I walked all over the mountains and had more energy than anyone else on the trip. Prior to VSG, I rarely left the house because I was so tired and my feet hurt so bad. This surgery has given me the opportunity to live well and enjoy life again. It has also returned to me a sense of dignity and self-control. Even though I wish a had a little more restriction, at this point, I still have enough restriction to help me eat small portions and refrain from over eating. I'm being careful to avoid eating past the point of comfort (I haven't thrown up once) because I don't want to do anything to cause my sleeve to stretch/expand. I want the freedom this has given me to last forever!

My only regret is that I wish my doctor had made my sleeve just a little smaller. He used a 40F bougie, and that may be why I seem to be able to eat more than what others are reporting. Anyway, the fact that I am able to eat larger portions (I can eat 2 pieces of pizza, or most of a hamburger) has definitely slowed my weightloss. Other than that, I love everything about the way this has helped me feel empowered to eat less and be healthier.

Some things we just aren't going to be able to predict--like how much your stomach will stretch--because we each eat differently and there are a lot of other variables as well. The question about cancer is one that I asked my surgeon. He explained that VSG is actually much safer than bypass surgery in terms of possible cancer. He said you can have your entire stomach removed and still live. With bypass surgery, because a portion of the stomach is sectioned off, but not removed, that portion of the stomach can't even be viewed with an endoscope. Additionally, what you would swallow for an upper GI would never make it to that portion to provide a good x-ray image, so it would be very difficult to know what was going on with the bypassed portion of the stomach if you were to develop cancer.

That some SWIFT weight loss! You keep us inspired!

I hope as time passes, you feel better about living with the sleeve. Unfortunately, even if you feel better about what has happened to your body, it doesn't change the fact that you felt pressured to please other people and to make your family members a priority at the price of 80% of your stomach. Nor will it change the emotional impact of having been ignored by medical professionals and having been forced to undergo a procedure you didn't want. I understand the replies that have pointed out that you had already signed informed consent--but I would be very surprised if patients don't have the legal right to revoke a consent. I'm sure I would be furious if I had experienced what you went through. I'm sorry...please let us know how this works out for you...

Hi Carrie, I experienced a lot of the same "what did I do to myself" emotions for the first couple weeks after surgery. What helped was to remind myself that the exhaustion, nausea, and severe food restriction that I was experiencing would be short-lived, and that as my healing progressed, I would feel better. When you feel miserable, it's hard to have confidence there are better days close at hand, and that you've made a healthy choice. Even though I knew what to expect, the way that I felt for the first month was pretty lousy, and to be honest, I was scared that I might feel that way indefinitely. Let me reassure you: The nausea passes, your energy will return, you will be able to swallow more easily, and before you know it, you will be able to eat small satisfying portions of most foods (I haven't found any foods that I can't tolerate easily). As a mother and grandmother, I have learned that when a child is in pain, the words that seem to bring the most comfort are: "You are fine...you are going to be OK...I know this hurts, but it will get better soon." That's what I wanted desperately to hear after my surgery--and I didn't have anyone else to say it to me, so I repeatedly said it to myself. Now I can honestly say that this surgery was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Ultimate Omega is a molecularly distilled fish oil by Nordic Naturals. Prior to surgery, I had been taking capsules, but it is also available as a liquid, so I have been using the liquid for the last couple months.

ONEDERFUL!!! I can't wait to join you...For me, there has always been something particularly humiliating about being over 200 pounds. I know that fat is fat...and there isn't a lot of difference between 199 and 201--but in our hearts and minds, there is a huge difference. Congratulations that you won't ever have to see those numbers again!

Le me just hop on board the frustration wagon. I love the fact that my food intake is restricted. I love the fact that I've lost weight and feel better. I don't love the fact that I haven't lost more than a couple pounds in the last month. I'm not doing everything perfectly by any means--but my food intake and overall calorie intake is still so reduced/limited (and my activity level is so much greater) that I think I should still be losing steadily at this point. The only consolation that I've been able to find is to remind myself that even if I never lost another ounce (unlikely), the quality of my life has been dramatically improved by the weight that I have lost...but it's starting to look like I am going to have to fight if I want to lose much more weight--and I have a lot more to lose. Not only that, my appetite seems to be increasing. At a cost of $14,000.00 and 80% of my stomach, I had definitely hoped for a better outcome.

Congratulations Jane! You look wonderful and you are an encouragement to all of us. Sometimes the pounds to lose can seem insurmountable. You are walking proof that this works!!! Thanks for spurring us on!

Most guidelines suggest that you shouldn't be eating raw vegetable until 4 months post op--but even so, I would not just assume that your pain is caused by the carrots. My recommendation would be to talk with your surgeon's office ASAP or go to the ER.

The gas pains are primarily caused by the way they perform laproscopic procedures. Your abdomen is inflated so that the surgeon can see what he is doing and manuever around. It takes a few days for your body to absorb the residual gas and initially, it can get trapped in small pockets in your abdominal cavity, and this is painful. If you haven't had gas pains by now, I doubt that you will have any problems. Good for you!

Heavyweight Kathy checking in...I haven't been on the board much for the last couple weeks because my adult daughter, her husband, and their 2 children (2 & 4) moved in with me two weeks ago. Needless to say, my life has changed drastically, and it seems like I'm fortunate to find time to even shower. Anyway, my highest weight was 283. I originally had a goal of 140, but I changed it to 155 because I carry so much of my weight in my belly and I know from a previous weight loss that most of my body was extremely thin at 140, but I still had a hanging apron that will require abdominoplasty if I want to have a normal shape. My guess is that they will need to remove a minimum of 10-15 pounds from my abdomen, and that I may not need to lose as much from the rest of my body to be at a healthy weight once I have had surgery to remove the excess tissue on my belly. I'm going to consult with a plastic surgeon when I get to around 175 and get his opinion before I finalize a goal. You are not alone. Sometimes it feels overwhelming when I think about how much I need to lose--but the weight is coming off and I am grateful for every lost pound...

I have always changed one size about every 15 pounds. I started out at a size 28 and over the last 4 months, I've gone to 26, 24, 22, and now I'm in a 20.