What to do when family is not supportive?

[FWLizzie 0]

I have been praying, saving and researching for so long that I am so ready for the surgery.

I have my surgery scheduled for 04/09 with Dr Almanza in Tijuana and am very excited but my family is not as supportive. They're afraid that something will happen to me while there.

I am a single parent as my husband passed away 5 years ago and see my surgery as an investment in my life as well as my kids lives....but I also understand why my family feels the way they feel.

What can I do or say to make them feel more at ease?

[LAN2k 18]

Firstly I'm sorry about the loss of your husband. I had both my parents, and my daughter support me before and after my surgery. I was cautious about when and how I'd tell them. With my mother I walked her through and shared as much as possible with her about the procedure and the stats and showed her many posts here at VST. I think it's important to educate them as much as possible and then tell them how important it is to you that they support your decision. I wish you the best and hope that your family (or at least one of them) will come around and be there for you.

[karaserene1985 1]

My mother does not support my decision. Its very hard. I have my husband and one of my sisters behind me on this. We know as a person what works and what does not. We wouldn't be doing this if we didn't think it was what is best for us. I hope your family comes around. I personally know how hard it is. I really want my mom to be there the day of my surgery but I know she will have an excuse.

[Smelly Melly 0]

You can ask them to do their own research before they decide that they are against your surgery. Maybe direct them to this forum. I think the bottom line is that they love you and don't want anything to happen to you. You can't change that

[Jenslim4good 1]

For me, I am having my surgery on March 30th in TJ with dr. verboonen. I am NOT telling my family and have only told 2 friends whom I invited to go and support me. Both declined, saying it is too dangerous to go to

Mexico, fear and one saying that a BMI of 30 or 31 is too low to start

with.

I reassured them, that I have been upfront with my health issues, and

with researching the "dangers" of travelling to TJ. I am confident that it

would be ok, but my friends are too afraid.

So... I am going alone, supporting myself alone and .... if I did not believe

I would be alright, I would not do it. Am I niave or what?

My husband was killed 12 years ago in a car accident, my children are grown and I am on my own... just like in life, with all I have to deal with

on my own, I guess this one is ok too. I don't need their approval but I

wish I felt sure that they would be helpful and supportive instead of

negative and judgmental.

When things turn out fine, and you are healthier and more happy I believe

the "nay sayers" will come around. I respect you for at least taking the

high road and letting them know what is going on beforehand.

I wish you the best!!!

Hug,

Jen

[FWLizzie 0]

Thank you ladies for your kind words. I know they love me and they are just afraid that something will go wrong. I'm excited and ready to go ahead with it.

I'm so glad I found this forum!!!

[pnw218 14]

There are certainly pros and cons about telling friends and family before the surgery. You want their support yet don't want to hear anything negative. I chose to tell very few people before surgery. So far, I have only had one person not be supportive. She, of course, had a story about some friend who went to Mexico for cosmetic surgery and died. There are always risks anytime you are being sedated however I personally don't think the risk is any higher in Mexico than in the US. The clinics in Mexico want to stay in business and I believe they are going to do everything they can to be successful.

Congrats on making the decision that is best for you. I am so happy I did it, even tho I mentally have missed food. Everything has been going smoothly for me otherwise.

My experience with Dr. Almanza and his staff was very positive.

Good Luck!!