female only If he likes then he better put a ring on it...

[wannalise 15]

This is not weight loss related this is me freaking out and I don't know what to do about it. I have been dating my boyfriend for over two years, we are Mormon which typically means dating is VERY short and then people get hitched, but thankfully that hasn't been the case with us, however, we have been talking about getting married for seven months I don't understand what we are waiting for. I feel so annoyed. I feel like my life is in limbo and that I have no say about what happens next. I'm pissed! Talk me down ladies.

[MINI-Me 196]

I don't have much advice - I married my husband after 5 dates. But, if you are talking about marriage, then I would just outright ask him what's the situation.

Sorry you are so frustrated. I would be too.

[thinoneday 445]

This is not weight loss related this is me freaking out and I don't know what to do about it. I have been dating my boyfriend for over two years, we are Mormon which typically means dating is VERY short and then people get hitched, but thankfully that hasn't been the case with us, however, we have been talking about getting married for seven months I don't understand what we are waiting for. I feel so annoyed. I feel like my life is in limbo and that I have no say about what happens next. I'm pissed! Talk me down ladies.

Can't help you out with this one, other then don't rush it. . . my hubbie and i have been together now 32 years. . .in the beginning we "lived in sin" for 10 years and as you can see it has worked very well. . . I didn't see the point of rushing a marriage, gotta make sure the shoe fit before i wore it for the rest of my life:biggrin0:. . . good luck. . .

[Malaika 50]

I'd say don't rush it. Ask him his intentions - you are in TOTAL control of your life - so if he's not going to be able to give you what you need, quit wasting your life on him and move along to someone who can and wants to give you what you need. Life is too short to be unhappy.

[Stacy160 201]

You didn't mention how old you are. I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds with my comments, but I've seen that the Mormon kids around here tend to get married at a very young age (20-21), usually to their first real boyfriends/girlfriends, and have seen a lot of divorce as a result of it. That's way too young and inexperienced in life to make such a huge life decision... so please don't rush it! And if you really feel that it's time, and he's waffling on it even when he says he wants to, then he's not really wanting to do it.

[MlkPas 5]

I know how frustrating it can be. But honestly, you are less than a month away from a HUGE life change, with your surgery and recovery and weight loss. Me personally, I would absolutely put any big life changes like engagement or marriage on "hold" until I had a really good handle on my new life with the sleeve.

One thing at a time, you know? No need to do everything at once.

[wannalise 15]

You are all so great! I'm 31 so not a spring chicken as far as relationships. I appreciate the advice, and today I'm newly focused on me. I do have loads of work to do on my mind, body, and spirit, and today that is what I can control.

[pumpkin07 32]

Yeah.......well, communication is key. If he is not ready to get married I would just leave it at that AND concentrate on your own life more. Sometimes men have to accomplish a bit before feeling they can add more responsibility. But we have to make certain we are not living our life through a man, if he isn't ready just let it be and focus on YOU.

And honestly, as a side note, this surgery and the subsequent surgery is not the best time to make a major life change b/c it is already a huge life change. I'm just 3 weeks out (tomorrow) and it was a rough go physically/emotionally - enough to scare off many a man. I'd go through a lot of that privately b/c he could start thinking what did I get into? And then after a month you'll be better company. Unless he has a weight problem, then maybe he'd understand.

I've been in the shoes of waiting for a man...that is no fun. My advice is just be the best you and love will come. If this isn't meant to be - there really will be the right person when you are right/ready. Life doesn't begin with marriage, believe me. To me it begins when you start living for God and your own goals and path in life if you know what I mean. But that is just me. Accomplish a goal - get a degree you love - do something that makes you the best you. Believe me, that will be very attractive to ANY man worth his salt.

[wannalise 15]

Well once again thanks all! I had an excellent chat with Tiffy and Hershey as well. I finally sat down with my man and talked and he was so together and healthy about the whole thing. He says he feels like he wants to marry me this year, but he also is aware that he has made huge life changes, I am about to embark on huge changes and he wants to be a support to me and feels like we should let some of the dust clear and then focus on our future together. So.....apparently I ended up with a wise fellow. Thanks all!

[Stacy160 201]

Awesome, and good thinking on his part...that's a good sign! :001_tongue:

[Tiffykins 672]

I'm really happy to hear y'all were able to communicate through this. Communication is the key to every healthy relationship. I love that y'all are both fairly self-aware and that will serve you well in your future as husband and wife.

[MINI-Me 196]

Very glad to hear that you guys were able to talk it through. Sounds like you've got a good one there!

[wannalise 15]

Yeah, he gets to deal with all my crazy and is does so with so much grace and love. I am very blessed to have him in my life and blessed that he is wise enough to step back and support me in my dreams.