Feeling hopeless and like a failure

rpaniagua77 · April 19, 2006

I was banded on Nov 7th and have only lost 40 lbs. I went in for a 3rd fill and had only lost 2 lbs since my last fill which was 2 months ago. This is so hard to do. I thought the weight would just fall off and that i would not feel hungry. This is not the case, I can't help but feel like a failure. I try so hard to eat right but some days it just doesnt work. I do exercise sometime but If i don't see a difference in a couple of weeks I want to quit. When will the weight just start falling off like the dr said. I hear so many stories of people who don't even exercise and lose weight. I wish I was one of them. Let me know if you feel this way or have felt this way and how you managed to get out of this rut and out of the plateau stage. :cry

sarahv · April 19, 2006

First of all, let me say it LOUDLY!!!

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! 40LBS IS NO FAILURE!!!

Now is the time to dig your heels in are refuse to give in to the old way of thinking and the old trip-ups that contributed to your weight in the first place!

There are no easy answers - no is no magic pill - you didn't gain the weight overnight - so it won't come off overnight.

Start keeping a food journal and documenting everything you eat (and track your water) Sometimes it helps when you're putting it down on paper.

I would also find a nutrionist or discuss it with your doctor. It's also possible that you've simply hit a plateau and need to really dig in and do a little extra to jump start the weight loss.

Most importantly - DO NOT GIVE UP!!! You've gone through surgery and lost 40LBs. If you can do that - you can do anything!!!

Everyone here is cheering you on and are here for your support whenever you need us!!

Carlene · April 19, 2006

I would say you are just about text book perfect! It's been about 22 weeks since your surgery and you've lost 40 pounds - almost 2 pounds per week!

You can expect to lose one to two pounds per week with the band. That's not exactly the same as seeing the weight "just fall off", but it is certainly a realistic expectation.

Once you have good restriction, you will experience a steady loss and decreased hunger. Learn to recognize the difference between head hunger and real hunger. If it's real hunger, almost everything sounds good. If you are craving the taste of a certain food, it's head hunger.

I'm sorry if your doctor misled you, but the band is not magic. Calories still count. Exercise still counts. But it can be done, and it's not all that difficult. I have lost 90 pounds in just under 17 months. I started in a size 18/20 and am now wearing size 4 jeans, size 6 dress pants, and a 6/8 top.

vinesqueen · April 19, 2006

Since you have lost 40 pounds in 22 weeks, you are ahead of the game. Excellent work!

What were you expecting to lose?

Jessiebear · April 19, 2006

You're doing great! Get that chin up! It took me about 9 months to get 40lbs off.

rtgirl77 · April 19, 2006

I have one better for you...I was banded 9-20-05 and had lost 44 lbs but gained some back and am now at -37 lbs. I thought it was really horrible until I had my visit today. I see the dietition at every appt and she was wonderful in helping me feel so much better. The target for my surgeon's practice for bandsters is 30% of excess body weight at 1 yr and 60% at 2 yrs. I've already hit my 30% mark at only 6 mos. So, I'm ahead. She explained it to me that this is a journey and you learn by making mistakes. Plug away at it and you will keep losing. Don't give in to self-defeating talk. 40 lbs is fabulous. To feel better, get out your clothes from last summer (if you still have them) and see how much smaller you are.

To kickstart your plateau, try eating a very high Protein diet for a few days with reduced fat and carbs. This has helped me get back on track and start losing again.

gentlespirit · April 19, 2006

You are NOT A FAILURE! 40 pounds is a lot, and you've done great. If your doctor said the weight would just fall off, he misled you. It's still hard work, and the band is just a tool, not a miracle. Keep plugging away and trying to make good choices. If you mess up today, start again tomorrow determined to do better. You can do this!

Emily

Sunta · April 19, 2006

If I lost 40 pounds in about five and a half months, I would be thrilled. That's almost two pounds a week!!!!!! That is what we're supposed to be losing. The band isn't the bypass and the slower we lose, the less loose skin we have, the longer the weight stays off, the less risk we have of gall stones and Hair loss, etc. I am jealous of people who can consistently lose 1-2 pounds a week. I would be delighted with that loss.

TheWomanWithin · April 19, 2006

40 pounds is a great success -- that is 40 pounds CLOSER to your goal.

refocus and take a break for a week if you have to - then be strict and start back.

Im just jealous you are banded, no complications and have LOST 40 pounds :biggrin1:

sheryl · April 19, 2006

What was your doctor thinking when he said that it would just melt off? That is so wrong! The band is just a tool to help you lose the weight. But we have to do a lot of the work ourselves. It is up to us to eat correctly.

Also, if you aren't restricted enough, then the band is not working the way it needs to work. Get another fill, if needed.

You know, I learned the hard way that it won't just melt off. I was off the bandwagon for 2 years and gained 55 pounds. I just feel so grateful that now that I am making the right choices and I have a great fill, my band is working exactly like it should. But it took me a long time to come around and understand that it takes me to make the right choices and then the band is there to do it's part. Just a tool. I know, I read that a hundred times, but for some reason I thought I was different and that it would be magical. Okay, sometimes I have a screw loose, but honestly, once I got back to making the right choices, it all came together and I am losing again.

Yes, 40 pounds is A LOT of weight to lose. At 2 pounds a week average, you are doing great. It will take 1-2 years to lose the weight in a healthy way. I have about the same to lose, and sometimes it seems like so MUCH. But 40 pounds now, 40 pounds in the next 6 months, you will feel like a new person.

Hang in there!!!

rpaniagua77 · April 21, 2006

Gees, I cant' thank all of you enough for all of your kind word and encouragement. I guess I hadnt really looked at it as almost 2 lbs a week. I was just thinking about the fact that I havent really lost anything in the past 3 months. You guys are right I just have to get focused and quit throwing myself a pity party. I know I can do this and I am very happy that I lost 40 lbs so far. I guess I just needed someone else to tell me that I 'm not alone in this. Thanks for all the advice and all the motivation. I am starting over tomorrow. I will lose this weight eventually and at least I'm not gaining RIGHT??? Yeah,:clap2: let's do this fellow bandsters we are all in this together. I am truly grateful for having such a great family here on LBT.

Dragonwillow · April 22, 2006

I"m right there with you...I've lost 40-37lbs right now. (meaning I've gained 3 back) I see the nutritionist next week and I just don't know what to tell her. I don't feel like I need a fill...because I can't eat alot of meats. I'm turning into a soy drinking, tofu eating vegitarian lately. I think I've finally pinpointed what causes me to get stuck though....at 6 months out! LOL I eat too fast....even when I chew it to death. This happenes more often when I'm multi tasking. (another habit I should break while eating).

I get discouraged...especially since I get to wear most of the same summer clothes as last year) Whats up with that? But you know what idiot me does when the going gets tough...makes the going even tougher. I just noticed I do this recently. When I stop seeing the scale move, I'll start eating things I shouldn't....what does it matter if I eat that chocoate?...the scale isn't moving anyway. Why bother to do a whole 60 minutes on the elliptical...its not like its making any freaking difference. Why do we do this to ourselves...or why do I?

I maybe a turning into the turtle...but I'm determined to get there. I even have the clothes to wear since my friend sent me all her "fat" clothes...get this a size 14. I'll be so happy in a size 14! LOL

sunflower · April 22, 2006

We must remember that we are not gastric bypass patients! I had a hard time with that myself. I expected to eat two bites and I would be full! Not the case. I find myself eating when I'm not even hungry, why? I think its anxiety and things that I need to deal and committ myself to. I think its about excepting myself everytime I look at the mirror. Its about sooooo much more than eating or losing weight for a lot of us. I'd say your doing pretty darn good. Now, just stop worrying about it and get a hobby besides running after 3 kids! (that's seems like plenty exercise!) listen I know what you feel but you are doing a great job. I have (and I stopped beating myself up about it) only lost 17lbs in almost one year! Am I disappointed? Well what do you think I did for so long? But not anymore it does not help. I love myself as a person not a body. Do I wish I was there ? Well of course but I know I will get there even if its a turtle race. okay ! So love yourself and appreciate the vehicle that you are in today and always, eventually you will come full circle.

Dianechef · April 22, 2006

2 lbs a week is a HEALTHY weight loss. The plateau that you have is a GOOD THING!! Your body is now adjusting to the new weight & it is soooo important that it does that. Once your new body adjusts to the new weight, you will start to lose again. I PROMISE!! I went through the same thing & it's difficult when you're in it, but you'll look back & realize that it was all good!!

STAY POSITIVE!! You really are doing very well. I hope you've been taking pictures along the way. They are so important so you can see yourself.

GOOD LUCK!! WE ALL EMPATHIZE & SYPATHIZE WITH YOU!!

You can do it!!