I just need to vent -

First a little background - I'm 5"5' 262lbs(down from 270). I -like many folks here have tried every diet known to man. I'm pretty well versed on nutrition and calorie consumption as well as the anatomy of weight loss(and gain lol)

So.... I'm at my health club today. On the treadmill very close to the end of my 40 minute cross country circuit and the heart rate monitor isn't ready my pulse right - so it's registering a 58 (not even when resting!!) and it has cranked the incline to 6.5 and I'm workin'. This woman who isn't overweight and not working out (I found out later, not even an employee or member) walks past me and I give her the head nod and smile and say hello. She smiles back and says "Breath... and maybe some water"

OK - I know I'm sensitive about things like this, but I was annoyed!! First of all, I was workin' but I was not huffing and puffing like I was about to keel over..... I also got sunburn on Wed being at the park with my kids - so I've got more color in my face than usual.

The more I thought about it - the more annoyed I got - so I decided not to think about it. Then she comes back.

She walks up to me saying "Potatoes, rice, bread, sugar" I've got headphones on and was watching TV, so I thought I might not have heard her correctly - so I took one out of my ear and said "Excuse me"

She said, those are the things you should try to avoid if you're trying to loose weight. Well - no sh#t Sherlock - you don't say....

So I told her that this was a life long battle for me and I was a professional dieter. When I told her that - she kinda got a funny look on her face like 'If you're a professional dieter, why are you fat' - but she didn't say it...

I guess it just confirms all of my worst fears about going to the health club in the first place. Everyone is mentally deciding what I should do to loose weight and wondering how I ever let myself get this way in the first place....

After chatting for a few minutes - she left me with these pearls of wisdom -

I should come here (the gym) everyday - and don't stop (I had told her that I worked out on and off since I was 10)

I am sure she meant well - but don't judge anyone without first walking in their shoes!!!

I know I'm not a bandster yet - but I love this place!!!

Thanks everyone for 'listening'

lol, I like that one :clap2:

RUDE! Anymore, I don't take sh..t! I would have probably said, "who are you, and what makes you think I asked for your opinion?"

Some folks like to feel superior. That's ignorant!!!

Keep going to that gym and GIVE IT TO 'EM!

Shawn

Don't let that ass bother you.....press on, your doing wonderful..... you'll show them huuuurmpf!

In 1992 I gave birth to my darling twin sons! Then came the comments....

"are they natural" or "did you use infertility drugs"

When someone asks completely rude question, I like to respond with "Why do you want/need to know?" :eek: That usually causes them to slink away.

We (most of us anyway) are so programmed to be polite, and I do think that responding in kind is demeaning to ourselves. I believe the correct thing to do is not engage. Just put your earphones back on ... loud!

I've been thinking about this thread for the last couple of days.

Two rudes do not make a polite.

Civility is the glue that holds society together. Just because someone is a bore doesn't give us the right to be rude in return. I find nothing wrong with being conditioned to be polite. I know it drives my mother bonkers, but I'm pathologically polite. I had such difficulties when I was exhiled with the general level of rudeness.

To me it sounded like she was sincerly trying to be helpful. There are somepeople that are pathologically helpful, even when their help is not wanted or warrented.

Ok, I'm going to hijack for a moment. On another thread, I got shit from someone for saying that I don't go to the gym because I know all the skinny people are judging me and giving me the eye because they're terrified of looking like me. I was basically told, get over it and stop being paranoid.

I'M NOT PARANOID. These people do exist, and I wanted to vent because my concern was trivialized in that thread.

Hijack over.

Oh, and that woman was a bitch. Even Miss Manners would agree that it's possible to politely deliver a rude line, like smiling kindly and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable discussing my health with perfect strangers."

That makes me so ticked off!

I have a reply all ready for morons who mean well or as I like to call them MMW's.

Here is the reply" Thank you for your interest however I don't think my weight is any of your business".

If the MMW persists "Again, thank you, I am trying to lose weight but you might try to learn manners".

Then ignore them.

And for the ones who don't mean well? A whole other story!

I guess it just confirms all of my worst fears about going to the health club in the first place. Everyone is mentally deciding what I should do to loose weight and wondering how I ever let myself get this way in the first place....

No, sweetie, just her. There is no excuse for what she did, nor is there one for what that dumbshit did to K@t! But Vines is right, two rudes don't make a right. As hard as it is to keep quiet and let someone shine alone in the light of stupidity, it's often the best thing to do. As soon as we open our mouths to retort, we reduce ourselves to the same level. Choosing the higher ground takes much more maturity and self control.

I walked into the tanning salon the other night and for the first time since I've been going there, the place was full of beautiful bodies. Sitting by the door was a woman about my age with her teenaged son. She was very thin, overly tanned and very wrinkled. Anyway, when I walked in, she said, "Oh.. my .. god" looking right at me! Her son looked up and rolled his eyes and I'm sure others looked. I just kept my eyes forward, went to the desk and was soon hidden in a room by myself. But good grief, people can be so damn mean!

I agree there are times that we should turn the other cheek and Photonut, I'm sorry about that nasty woman you encountered. In both cases with sarahv & Photonut, I would have reacted in a similar manner. However, I do believe you teach people how to treat you. There are times that you should stand up for yourself and put a rude person in their place. I can't think of a time right off the top of my head, but I will speak up in certain instances b/c there are behaviors I do not tolerate in relation to how the behavior is directed at me or a loved one.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but it's O.K. to take a stand for yourself.....you are the best friend you will ever have!!

Damn Susan, how horrible that women did that, I would have looked back at her and said the same thing..then asked her if she was doing any thing for all her wrinkles....

I know I should be polite and I totally agree with Vines, but there is just a certain point when a person can't take no mo! As of yet I have always responded politely but I got some good ideas from you guys!

:cheer2: Sarahv you are doing a great job....keep it up:cheer2:

"Potatoes, rice, bread, sugar"???

Why don't you go by the next time you see her and say, "Politeness, Respect, Brains and Savvy....that's what YOU should NOT avoid unless you are training to be a professional JERK!

Susan you could have asked her what she uses to tan; so you can make sure to use something else because you don't want to end up looking like a prune! hah

not really, I'm rarely rude - I would have to come up with something that is friendly, but tart to make her think about her rudeness. hmmmm...

If she was a salesperson, I would do all i could to get the info on her and complain to her boss and her boss's boss etc.

Vines, while that theory is good, I think sometimes people just need a good sock in the jaw. I am of the mindset that if you can dish it you can take it. If that woman had come up to me I would have stopped the treadmill, taken off the earphones, gotten down to her level and calmly told her to back the f*** off, that I was capable of living my life without her pearls of wisdom up until then, and I will continue to succeed till the end of my days. Then I would have promptly asked to see the manager of the gym.

It is stuff like this that keeps me out of a gym.

I thought about tracking down her or even her boss - however, while almost every single person that works at the gym is very nice and friendly and never treats me with anything but respect - I'm afraid that in trying to track down a vendor and her boss - they wouldn't get it..... None of them are overweight and might not understand or worse yet agree with her. If they didn't understand or even agreed with her - I would be even more offended and get mad - and not want to go back - which would only undermine my success and determination - which would worse than making her feel bad.

So - I am just taking solace in the fact that what comes around goes around and that someone somewhere has made her feel like she made me feel that day.

If I see her there again - well - I got some great ideas for that from this thread.

Thanks everyone for the support - I love LBT!!

:biggrin1: