I just need to vent -

First a little background - I'm 5"5' 262lbs(down from 270). I -like many folks here have tried every diet known to man. I'm pretty well versed on nutrition and calorie consumption as well as the anatomy of weight loss(and gain lol)

So.... I'm at my health club today. On the treadmill very close to the end of my 40 minute cross country circuit and the heart rate monitor isn't ready my pulse right - so it's registering a 58 (not even when resting!!) and it has cranked the incline to 6.5 and I'm workin'. This woman who isn't overweight and not working out (I found out later, not even an employee or member) walks past me and I give her the head nod and smile and say hello. She smiles back and says "Breath... and maybe some water"

OK - I know I'm sensitive about things like this, but I was annoyed!! First of all, I was workin' but I was not huffing and puffing like I was about to keel over..... I also got sunburn on Wed being at the park with my kids - so I've got more color in my face than usual.

The more I thought about it - the more annoyed I got - so I decided not to think about it. Then she comes back.

She walks up to me saying "Potatoes, rice, bread, sugar" I've got headphones on and was watching TV, so I thought I might not have heard her correctly - so I took one out of my ear and said "Excuse me"

She said, those are the things you should try to avoid if you're trying to loose weight. Well - no sh#t Sherlock - you don't say....

So I told her that this was a life long battle for me and I was a professional dieter. When I told her that - she kinda got a funny look on her face like 'If you're a professional dieter, why are you fat' - but she didn't say it...

I guess it just confirms all of my worst fears about going to the health club in the first place. Everyone is mentally deciding what I should do to loose weight and wondering how I ever let myself get this way in the first place....

After chatting for a few minutes - she left me with these pearls of wisdom -

I should come here (the gym) everyday - and don't stop (I had told her that I worked out on and off since I was 10)

I am sure she meant well - but don't judge anyone without first walking in their shoes!!!

I know I'm not a bandster yet - but I love this place!!!

Thanks everyone for 'listening'

I get the same thing at the gym and it's annoying. I've been working out, teaching aerobics (certified instructor), weight lifting, and a yoga instructor since i was about 18...

I also know what to do but still get so many people telling me what they think I should do...

Hold your head high....you have no reason to be ashamed! I'm sorry you had an encounter with this woman. :phanvan Like you said, her intentions may have been good, however, she was very rude and out of line. I was a member of a gym, at least 50 lbs ago, and I felt out of place even then. It's not easy going to a gym b/c people do judge. Don't let this person keep you away if that's where you want to be.

I am preband as well and I am so thankful for LBT. Isn't it nice to come here for comfort and support without being judged? :biggrin1: Stay strong and always remember there is always a friendly face at LBT.

That was very insensitive and arrogant of that woman. I think some people like to hear themselves talk and make themselves feel important at the expense of others to do it.

No matter how well-intentioned these type of comments start off to be, they usually end up offending the receiver. I'm sorry you had to endure her comments and to think she just kept coming at you with them......shame.

That's probably why I avoid working out in public like the plague. Even the curves in my town is full of these 100 lb bimbettes who make you feel like a total loser. The closest I ever come to working out in public is my son's school. They have open swim 2 nights a week and it seems that very few people take advantage of this. So I go, bathing suit and all. I also work out in hotel gyms when I'm traveling for my job. Once in a while I have a couple of people in there with me but most of the time I have it all to myself. AHH, peace and harmony is restored.

- so I took one out of my ear and said "Excuse me"

i dont ever take my head phones off at the gym AND i crank it so loud that i might not HEAR someone. i have actually NEVER in a year 'spoke' to any members there- just smiles!

just turn your music up and ignore her!!!

The "How long have you believed..." or "What lead you to believe..." opener is called for.

How long have you believed that perfect strangers were interested in your opinion?

OR

How long have you believed that what you have to say would be of interest to anyone?

The "How long have you believed..." or "What lead you to believe..." opener is called for.

How long have you believed that perfect strangers were interested in your opinion?

OR

How long have you believed that what you have to say would be of interest to anyone?

LOL... that is a great idea!

Sarah,

I know how you feel. I go to our local YMCA often. I'm about your size: 5'5 and 264.5lbs down from 270.

I often jogg on the track--about 1-2 miles. Though I'm fat, I can run, girl. :eek: I have received all kinds of comments--like, "Wow--you're really doing a good job," and "Keep that up--you'll lose that weight in no time," and "I can't belive you can jog that long," etc. I know people are just trying to be nice, but it makes me kind of ticked. I know they wouldn't say these things to a thin person jogging. They do not know my history.

I think many thin people who have never struggled with weight think that we, the obese, just sit around all day eating bon bons. We are not lazy. I'm not lazy. I have three small children, a clean house, work a part-time job, have a master's degree that I paid for myself, exercise daily, and try to eat healthy. I do indulge in food too much, though--my stress reliever, I guess--but my genetics, thyroid, history of being an overweight child--all these things have contributed to my obesity.

By the way, a friend of mine is a pharmacist. She said that at a recent seminar she attended, she learned that when people have been overweight for a long period of time--that their fat cells actually release these "demon hormones" (as she called them) that actually send messages to the brain to keep the fat--making you want to eat more--making satisfaction a difficult task.

There are so many factors to why we are overweight, and I get sick of ignorant people, too. I know how you feel, girl! Hang in there. Don't ever give up hope.

Yikes! Why not just be honest and say that while you assume she's trying to be helpful, the truth is her comments are more hurtful than helpful. If she really wants to help you she should ask when you're coming to the gym again and workout with you rather than interupt you while you're trying to help yourself. I should think that would not only shut her up but would also give her some perspective so she can get a clue.

Playing the Devil's Advocate here: Giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming that her intentions WERE good, imagine her reaction if you were rude to her. You will have been the rude one in that instance. Haven't you ever had someone take something you said in completely the wrong way? Besides, snapping at her wouldn't have made you you feel better - at least not in the long run - and it would only "confirm" a possibly preconceived notion that heavy people aren't nice, are ungrateful and undeserving. Sounds crazy but that's what some studies say is going on inside some peoples subconscious'.

Why not just be nice, be honest, be true to yourself, and be on your way? Taking the moral high ground isn't always easy at the time, but you can always look back on your behaviour with no regret, no loss of self-esteem and with the knowledge that you behaved with FAR more class than she did.

Can you tell I've been meditating? Catch me sometime when I'm hungry and in a mean mood! LOL

In 1992 I gave birth to my darling twin sons! Then came the comments....

"are they natural" or "did you use infertility drugs"

How often are you asked while banking about A) Birth Control and :eek: your sex life?

People really don't understand how rude and they can be in public.

I vote that you turn up the music at the gym!

I say I would just ignore someone like that. Obviously she was there trying to find something to do.

Stelis2

Wow, that blows my mind! I can't imagine anyone at my gym (which is a Y) actually saying something like that to me. If they did I'd be very rude right back at them.

Sheesh--I can't believe what people will do to feel superior.

Not to take over the thread, but on the same note, since it's Easter I was giving candy eggs to my students, and then I offered the left overs to some parents waiting in the hall. One of the mothers patted my belly and told me not to eat any. A total stranger touching me and telling me what to put in my mouth. I just smiled and left. I could have slugged her. People have good intentions but they really have no idea how rude they are being. It's hard to shrug it off, but thats part of our society. :speechles

Thanks everyone for the ideas for next time and the support!!! The woman was actually a vendor doing a site visit - I guess there wasn't enough for her to do.....

I believe I will just be moving to the back row of treadmills and keeping my eyes up away from the 'line of sight' for people walking in front.... That's why they put the TV so high on the wall - right!?!

Happy Easter everyone!!

Ask in your best sugary sweet voice: How much do you charge???

after her look of bewilderment, tell her you want to make an appoint at her office since she seems to be so full of knowledge for weight problems, SURELY she must be a dietician or doctor.

I love to tell people this lol and if you do it in the nicest of ways, then they learn a lesson :eek: