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Have Fallen So Far Off The Wagon. Can I Get Back On?
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I had my surgery in August of 2010, and weighed 262 prior to the surgery. Within six months, I was down to 215 and was feeling great and hadn't had any problems. Went from a size 20 to a size 14, was happy with that. I'm a tall, larger boned girl, so I look pretty good at a size 14.
Then, all hell broke loose in my personal life. Found out my husband was cheating, divorced his lying and cheating ass, was laid off from my job, lost my medical insurance, had my first post-divorce relationship blow up in a very hurtful and spectactular fashion, am dealing with being a single parent of a special needs child.. And, I'm sure many of you understand, emotional eating is what got me to the overweight point I was at in the first place. When things were going fairly well in my life, with the help of my band, I was able to eat carefully and stay on task with walking. I've been so overwhelmed with various life stressors that having to manage eating just got away from me. I'm scared to death to get on the scale, because I think seeing that number would totally cause me to lose it. I would guess from the way my clothes fit that I'm somewhere in the 240's and a size 16 again.
Going to my doctor isn't an option right now, since I am unemployed and do not have insurance. My restriction has been all over the place. There are days I can't get much down, which is why I'm sure I haven't gained ALL my weight back. There are other days that I can eat like crazy. I do truly believe that for me, stress and hormones have a lot to do with how my band works. And, ice cream ALWAYS goes down well.
I really want to gain control of my situation back. I would really appreciate no one slamming me for losing control of my situation... I've dealt with enough as of late, thank you. If there's anyone out there who was able to make their band work for them again after a period of falling off the wagon, I would like to hear from you. I just need some inspiration!
Thanks!