Okay not that I want to admit this to the world,

But I was banded almost 2 years ago. I was 18 and the first few months were great.

I lost 20 kilos and had a few top ups. Down from 130kg to about 110kg

Then, things started happening in my life (I won't go into detail)

And I stopped thinking about my Lapband. I stopped seeing my doctors and I stopped eating right,

I just didn't want to think about any of it because I wanted to concentrate on my mental health at the time.

I put on weight and stayed around 120kg until a few months ago. I'm now back to almost 130kg but too scared to go see my doctors and get a fill.

I don't want them lecturing me, I know I screwed up. Everyone always talks like if you screw up then that's it, it's over.

Which is why I feel so guilty, but I feel like if this Lapband is in my body for the rest of my life. Why can't I keep trying until I get it right?

I can now eat normally like I never got banded. Just a bit more pain then there should be.

But after reading this forum again for the first time in 2 years I realised that I didn't have as many fills as I should have. I didn't get to the point that I wasn't hungry.

I can't even remember buti think I only had 2 fills.

So maybe if I can get the courage up to go and get more fills it will make me stop eating so much?

My point is, I always hear of people and their success stories,

And I also always hear of people who fail and then give up...

But is there ANYONE out there who failed and is motivated to try again?

And if so, where should I start? Because I only just decided 10minutes ago that I might give this another go.

I was too scared to go see my surgeon again. I actually hated him & didn't trust him. So I got on myfitnesspal & starting logging my food. I started reading this site like it was a text book for a final exam! I found a new dr. You are not a failure. You are a person who knows what you need to do. Forgive yourself and move on. Best of luck & keep us posted! :-)

Sweetheart never give up never ever. I too suffer from anxiety attacks from time to time they have decreased in the last 2 years and I really undestand what you go through I started having them at the age of 19 i'm 25 now. I'm getting banded tomorrow lets do this together yes =) I invite you and everyone else to "like" wls facebookpage https://www.facebook.com/NasfapsCommunity?ref=hl so we can support each other I also have my youtube channel if you can please subscribe it's called nasfapcommunity.

Okay everyone - I'm back..... AGAIN. A little bit more pathetic/embarrassed each time lol.

Yet again I had a major relapse with my mental health, and my doctors have got me trialling all sorts of medications again. The last time I did this it took 2 years for them to find medications that worked for me, and those tablets only lasted 6 months before they stopped working. So it's not looking good.

BUT, trying for a third time now, and doing a much more casual and relaxed diet/exercise this time. My partner and I are starting today Starting waaaay back at the beginning. So 2000 steps here I come! I just went to get my blood tests done last week and I'm actually healthier than the average person and weirdly enough I always have been lol. Except my Vitamin D which is less than a quarter of what it's meant to be. But that's mostly because of my insomnia/chronic fatigue from being off my tablets.

Today I am going to take new photos of both myself and my partner, get on the scales and document EVERYTHING. I have recipes saved and ready to go, the only problem is we are so broke because we are both studying full time that it's hard to eat healthy. But we are going to just use the weight-watchers idea which should make it easier to eat what we can afford, but also watch what we eat. If that makes sense?

Also can't afford to go back to get my band tightened, which is really crap. I wish I could because I also want to go get a check up and tell them what's going on since I haven't seen them in a year or two.

It would be great to know other people that have just started loosing weight.

I am currently 127kg, so if you're around that weight and just starting the weight loss, send me a PM!!!!

I am going to be using Fitness Pal

Wish me luck!!! Cause I need it more than most haha. x

First of all you guys are not failures. WE fell off the wagon. WE need to shake it up and keep moving.

Let's all touch bases on My Fitness Pal and get back on track together. Let's do it together, Let's do it now! No reason to procrastinate. We can support each other and have some accountability. Request me, Darkangel321, and put "Back on the Wagon" on the subject line. We will go from there. Seriously. Im asking for help to get back on track and i'm offering help to those that want to get back on track.

I got the band and after a while I did everything wrong from eating very unhealthy and drinking lots of sodas. What you are feeling is not fear of your doctor its guilt. Let it go and see your doctor make sure your band is ok. Then just get back on track. You did it before. You know what to do just do it! I am back on track 3 weeks and down 14.2. You are the only one standing in your way.

My advice is to make three (YES, 3) appointments with your doctor; space them out to every 4 to 6 weeks; then you make a committment to go to the appointment; make it a pattern / habit to check in; I don't do well with "lectures" either but it will be a one time, five minute situation; I had to have SIX fills before I got "near" the green zone; my doctor / surgeon told me that I will need to constantly tweak my band. . . add 1/2 cc; take 1/2 cc out as I continue to lose weight. ~ good luck ~

Hey everyone just an update.

3 days in and I have lost my first kilo (2.2lbs)

I am eating about 1000 calories a day without any restriction (as my lapband does not have Fluid in it) and burning 950 calories a day from exercise.

So pretty happy with all that. It feels a lot easier this time around, not sure why.

Partner has lost 3kilos and he has been dieting for a week (bit longer than me). He doesn't have the lapband and I'm trying to tell him how amazing that is to lose so much in one week without changing much (yet) but he isn't as excited as me about it haha.

Still no money for an appointment to get a fill though. Will see how I go without fluid and hopefully I can last a month without it

Hey everyone just an update.

3 days in and I have lost my first kilo (2.2lbs)

I am eating about 1000 calories a day without any restriction (as my lapband does not have Fluid in it) and burning 950 calories a day from exercise.

So pretty happy with all that. It feels a lot easier this time around' date=' not sure why.

Partner has lost 3kilos and he has been dieting for a week (bit longer than me). He doesn't have the lapband and I'm trying to tell him how amazing that is to lose so much in one week without changing much (yet) but he isn't as excited as me about it haha.

Still no money for an appointment to get a fill though. Will see how I go without fluid and hopefully I can last a month without it [/quote']

You are doing damn good lady! Doesnt sound like a failure to me. Stay on this path until you can get a fill, you will get there. You may have a few weak moments before you get it, but it's ok. Its obvious you can jump right back in strong. GOOD FOR YOU!

First week is over as of today and 2 kilos down (4.5llbs?) So Still going strong. Fitness Pal is a lifesaver. Weirdly, I look forward to putting in all my information very day haha. And i finally have a little support group on there and read all of there diaries to make sure im on the same track. I have also taken all the photos and measurements and used the app BodyShot to keep a record.

I will be finding a new doctor to get my tablets back, or at least something to help me sleep. Doing exercise at 3am without sleep is hard lol. But I've managed to work out 4 times out of my goal of 5 times a week.

Happy Happy Happy!

go back do not give up look at the good thing you done and you came thought some tuf time to .i know you do not know me but by reading the past i can see you are a good prson so you go for it

This whole thread was very encouraging to me. I'm also one that was banded about 2 1/2 years ago back in aug.2010. I lost very slowly and got to the 50lb mark and then started back with some old issues like depression and having drinks on the weekend . Not to the point of drunkenness but I have learned that 1 drink bloats me and my weight loss stalls.

The last time I went to my surgeon back in March for a fill he said that I must be eating Cookies and ice cream which offended me because I am not a sweet eater at all. I'm one of those rare people that does not even like ice cream. So after that because of what he said & I was still the same weight I missed my next appt and have not been back since. Now, I'm afraid to go back because I'm up about 10 lbs now.

In the meantime, I was dealing with a little marital discord and recently learned that my sister has the big C. So I want to go back but if I get a lecture I know it will further discourage me.

I hate to use my sisters severe illness as an excuse but I'm thinking if I go back and explain to him that I have been severely depressed because of dealing with these issues he may cut me some slack .

I want to be a success with my band more than anything so much so that I have considered going back to WW or even doing HCG.

This whole thread was very encouraging to me. I'm also one that was banded about 2 1/2 years ago back in aug.2010. I lost very slowly and got to the 50lb mark and then started back with some old issues like depression and having drinks on the weekend . Not to the point of drunkenness but I have learned that 1 drink bloats me and my weight loss stalls.

The last time I went to my surgeon back in March for a fill he said that I must be eating Cookies and ice cream which offended me because I am not a sweet eater at all. I'm one of those rare people that does not even like ice cream. So after that because of what he said & I was still the same weight I missed my next appt and have not been back since. Now' date=' I'm afraid to go back because I'm up about 10 lbs now.

In the meantime, I was dealing with a little marital discord and recently learned that my sister has the big C. So I want to go back but if I get a lecture I know it will further discourage me.

I hate to use my sisters severe illness as an excuse but I'm thinking if I go back and explain to him that I have been severely depressed because of dealing with these issues he may cut me some slack .

I want to be a success with my band more than anything so much so that I have considered going back to WW or even doing HCG.

[/quote']

I was banded just before you-July 2010 and due to some health issues, I was not a huge band success early on. I have had to restart the process too so I understand how hard that it is! It's stinks that your doctor feels that's its okay to humiliate you...when you go back to him, make sure you share what's been going on in your life, but don't let him think you are making excuses. Life does get in the way and it impacts our entire being when awful stuff is happening that is beyond our control.

That being said, I can tell you that the best thing I did was to read Jean McMillans book "Bandwagon". I finally learned how my band was supposed to be working. I started journaling, I now use My Fitness Pal religiously. I have a new motto "If I eat it, I own it". I tried to go back to WW, but I felt like no one there understood what I was experiencing.

You need to give yourself a fresh start. Go back to what you did in the beginning.

Drink your Water.

Eat 60-80 grams of Protein

Eat veggies and fruit after you eat your protein

Slow down and chew, chew, chew.

Take care of yourself.

Who knows, if you get restarted, maybe that doctors appointment won't go so bad.

Best of luck to you!

This whole thread was very encouraging to me. I'm also one that was banded about 2 1/2 years ago back in aug.2010. I lost very slowly and got to the 50lb mark and then started back with some old issues like depression and having drinks on the weekend . Not to the point of drunkenness but I have learned that 1 drink bloats me and my weight loss stalls.

The last time I went to my surgeon back in March for a fill he said that I must be eating Cookies and ice cream which offended me because I am not a sweet eater at all. I'm one of those rare people that does not even like ice cream. So after that because of what he said & I was still the same weight I missed my next appt and have not been back since. Now' date=' I'm afraid to go back because I'm up about 10 lbs now.

In the meantime, I was dealing with a little marital discord and recently learned that my sister has the big C. So I want to go back but if I get a lecture I know it will further discourage me.

I hate to use my sisters severe illness as an excuse but I'm thinking if I go back and explain to him that I have been severely depressed because of dealing with these issues he may cut me some slack .

I want to be a success with my band more than anything so much so that I have considered going back to WW or even doing HCG.

[/quote']

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am truely sorry that this has been a hard journey for you. It is good to know that there are other people in my situation and I think if we start opening up to things not going so well, maybe more people will come forward so we can all help each other.

I understand what you mean when you are worried about getting lectured, as you would have read I am the same, and people have told me to suck it up and let the doctor lecture me, which is true, I should. But it's easier said than done.

If there is anything I can do to help make this journey a little bit easier for you, just let me know. If or when you are ready to start fresh, I would be more than happy to do it with you. As mentioned previously this is my first week back on track I will probably go off track again (hopefully not) but i just hope that if I do, I will at least get back on track quicker each time.

Just remember you have so much support here whenever you need it

P.s I am not going back to the doctor until I lose a bit more weight haha. At least then I won't be the exact same weight I was before surgery! Lol

Okay so today I had my first fill in almost 2 years. Currently sitting on 5.5mls out of 7, and now "average" (Usually 5-7ish for my band)

Last time i had this much in my band I had a bit of trouble, but going to try really hard this time to eat slower.

I have lost 4 kilos (approx 9lbs) so far without Fluid and now that I have some fluid hoping it will keep going.

Haven't changed much yet, still eating my normal meals, just less. And only exercising every 2-3 days now. However if my weight loss slows down, I exercise more again.

On fluids for 24hrs - Can't remember what the hell to have for fluids, but think it might be shakes so went and bought them.

But not sure if I can last on just them for 24hrs though because it's currently over 40.C here (over 104 Fahrenheit) so not feeling well. Yay for lliving in Australia lol.

If anyone has other ideas for fluids please let me know, because I can't remember lol.