Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Serious Advice/opinion Needed



Recommended Posts

Lapband friends,

I am so torn right now. I have scheduled brachioplasty for July 2. I have care credit to pay for it. However, my house is up for sale and my divorce is pending the sell of our house. We both live in the house as neither of us can afford it alone. My parents gave me money for a divorce lawyer that I will pay over the next 4 months. I work a full time job and two part-time jobs. Fortunately, when I have wanted to have surgery, I have been able to secure a third part time job to help fund it via adjunct instructor. My parents do not like surgery unless it's life saving. I had a TT last summer and stayed ith them the first week, they were great. Owing my parents money is going to make their disapproval even worse this time. Being employed in education, summers are the best time for recovery, as I have at least 2-3 weeks consecutively off. My plan has been TT last summer, brachioplasty this summer and thigh lift next summer. Please honestly tell me if you think I should cancel this summer or follow through while paying my parents back?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Will you in anyway be changing how long it would take to pay your parents back?

If you have agreed to a certain amount each month and you are able to pay them and the credit card then thats fine.....but it it one of those things of "I will pay you back as soon as I can" then I think they need to be paid in full first.

The only way around it would be to talk to them and arrange something else.....but since you don't think they will approve of your surgery, I guess talking with them about paying them back later is not an option.

If you haven't agreed to "how" you are going to pay them back, then I would figure out how much you can afford to pay them and still pay for the surgery...if they agree to the payment plan, then I think you are in the clear.....just don't make it something unfair like 10 a month.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey waitingpatiently,

No, I plan to make 4 monthly payments and they would be paid in full. I'm actually giving the first payment tomorrow, so 3 more after this. I would actually have made 2 of the 4 prior to surgery. I can pay for my surgery over 2 or 3 years on my care credit card. I am starting a new job in July making more money as well. Im certain I can do both. I just know my mom especially will have a lot to say about me having the surgery in the midst of my personal issues and prior to paying ALL the money back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Since you have a payment plan set up to pay your parents back I say GO FOR IT!! I had my done 4 weeks ago and I couldn't be happier. I feel so much better in my own skin I have had 3 different procedures with a thigh lift in my future and my confidence is appropriately better. it seems you are starting a new chapter in your life why not a with a new body? I just want to state that although I am a believer in plastic surgery My value comes from who I am in Christ but being able to have the surgeries has been a blessing. Best of luck to you :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if you have the money to pay your parents back and pay for the surgery then you should do what will make you feel good about yourself. and make you happy.your parents opinion i am sure you will take into concideration but ultimitly the decision is yours.it is your body and you are in control of it. you have to listen to your heart and do what is best for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you so much. My mom always asks me, "have you prayed about it?" my response is always yes, but I don't think she believes it because she doesn't like it. I'm glad to hear someone else say that Christ is one of the most important aspects of their lives and decision making. Something usually happens to open the door for me to do this financially and I feel privileged and blessed for the opportunity. I wanted Lapband for years and couldn't afford it. God has just really been moving things in my life and making things possible. I'm truly blessed despite my other issues.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would just be concerned about your financial future and stability at this point. You say you cannot afford to live apart from your soon to be ex until the house sells... Personally, I would be stockpiling my money for a rainy day. I would also put off the elective surgery for this year so you don't take on more debt. If you don't need the money you save, then you can always pay cash for your surgery later :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

NWgirl, thanks. Let me clarify, we can't afford our current home independently. I have already been approved for a home loan pending the sell of our current home. I was in my own home when we got married. We lived there briefly and sold it to buy a home together. I am taking on an additional summer job and getting a new job (promotion) in July (more money). Financially, I would be using care credit and paying monthly payments for surgery. The sell of our house (with a reasonable offer) would provide a down payment for my next house. However, having that money as a back up plan would be good. I can save some of the summer job money for that even with the surgery. Thanks, I need all the input I can get.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also wouldn't put money for a cosmetic surgery on a credit card. Save up, and pay cash. Have you done the calculations to see how much interest you are going to pay for that?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As long as it's not going to interfere with the payment plan you have with your parents go for it. Might just be the self esteem boost you need after a divorce. You sound like a very hard worker and deserve to have a little something for yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all so much for the honest and thought provoking input. I'm taking it all into consideration. I couldn't do this alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well LBT friends, Today (my birthday), I went for what was to be my final consult before surgery on July 2. I was informed that I had to have the stitches removed at the 2 week mark and I couldn't do that because I start my new job on that exact date. Therefore, I canceled and hope to reschedule in December. I have to call back in October and try to secure a date. I was told it fills really fast, so wish me luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also wouldn't put money for a cosmetic surgery on a credit card. Save up, and pay cash. Have you done the calculations to see how much interest you are going to pay for that?

I agree..... When i first started looking into my TT I got approved for the Care Credit. But then i looked at the interest and was in shock. So i went to my bank an asked about a personal loan. My friend at the bank said, you can defiantly get a personal loan for the $8800, but let look at this other option.... Chase Slate card. We did, got approved for the $8800 with 0% interest for the next 15 months... Have you looked into this option?

About your parents, can they afford to foot the bill for your surgery with out putting them selves in debt? If yes, then go for it...... If, then i would wait. I would never want my parent to take on debt for an elective surgery for me. I know they don't want you to do it, but this is a personal choice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks, I will look into the Chase card, but if I didn't get it, I will be using Care Credit. I don't have an issue with that. My parents aren't paying for any surgery. They loaned me funds for lawyer for divorce. I will have paid them back in full in two more months. Therefore, by December, it will be a non-issue. Thanks for suggestion about the card.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you really prepared for the procedure itself? I had a brachioplasty after I lost weight the first time. The pain was excruciating. I could not wipe or wash myself, so DD & DH had to help. That was so humiliating but I just could not move my arms around.

I also wound up with horrible infections but prior to that, the pain was unbearable. Please keep all of those things in mind before you move ahead with the timing of your decision.

I know what it's like to desperately want plastic surgery so I wish you luck in your decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×