I can barely see straight. It is no big secret that today is Valentine's day. So here is how my day went. No no...let me preface this.

Last week, because I control the budget, I put $200 in DH's wallet. I laid several blatant hints that the money was for his ability to buy a gift this year for Valentines. He complains every year that he does nothing because he never has cash to spend in his wallet.

So today I wake him up with aa very treat. Shall we say he got a nice wake up call and my lips were numb for about 30 minutes after. I take him to work, and drop the kids off, then go get my toes and nails done. He likes that, and I pick out a color that is sure to get him going. I call him to see if he wants to meet for lunch...I am already at the mall where he goes to lunch. He says no...he needs quiet time. I think "okay...gift buying time." So I go home. I clean up (we are about to move so the place is a mess.) I go to the other room and REASSEMBLE the freakin dining room table so we can have dinner tonight. I take the chairs out of the closet. I give the dog a bath (something I have been asking him to do). I get all dressedup. I go to the grocery store and buy some sole and shrimp and potatoes and pre-prepare a fabulous dinner...ready to throw in the stove. I go and pick up the kids, so he doesn'thave to walk in (hee hates it in there). I pick him up. He is all depressed. "whts wrong?" I ask. "nuthin..." he replies. We get home, and it does not take a genius to see he did not go shopping. So I tell him..."Can you go to the store and get some wine? I forgot" So he goes out, and I make dinner. He is gone 2 HOURS!!! food is cold. He gets home, I reheat the food, kids are already in bed. I put it on the table, candles lit. He comes to the tble, grabs the plate and wine, and walks over to the couch and sits down to watch the olympics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remindhim that the table is back out and made up for a reason. He says..."oh, sorry." Comes back to the table, and complains that the fish is a little tough. I tell him that is because I had to reheat it. He wolfs it down without saying anything to me, puts the dishes in the sink, and kisses me on the forehead and thanks me fore dinner. then goes and sits back down.

I keep thinking he is going to surprise me with a gift. I am now in bed. he is not. He is still watching tv. I am in bed because I have a really early morning meeting tomorrow.

Just a LOVELY V-day. I hate men. I mean what the hell?!?! I married a great guy!! What the hell is going on??? Why is he suddenly an asshole? On today of all days????

Wow.. you mean the low life, selfish asshole didnt steal your money and sleep with another woman? Unbelievable. *grins*

Happy to hear it all worked out for you!

HAHAHA amazing isn't it?

Glad it all worked out and you two were able to talk.

We do come from our own experiences, so I'm glad my case is not your case (yes he was a cheater too!)

Inany case, sometimes these bumps make for good relationship tune-ups. :-)

February 14 is just a date....I actually forbid my husband from buying roses on that day...$80 can buy a pair of shoes. He has 364 other days to choose from. Make your own romance...don't let the calendar dictate it!

Couldn't have said it better myself! I refuse to allow commerse to dictate what love should be for me and mine.

I agree with those who pointed out that something is obviously bothering him. I also agree that his behavior would have pissed me off too if I'd gone to that extent and he didnt at least acknowledge my effort in some way. I'm sorry you were hurt after all the love you obviously put into the day. Communication is key, and you two obviously weren't on the same page Tuesday. I refer again to NJGirl's quote. 2/14 is just another day. <hugs> and wishes for better days & nights ahead!

I would have went back in his wallet and took out the $200. Go to the store and pick out what you want.

Amy, glad its better now. Hope all goes good. Well, it looks like I may need to check out that book that was mentioned, sounds like it could help. Kare, thanks for your input also, I appreciate it.

I may need to check out that book that was mentioned, sounds like it could help. Kare, thanks for your input also, I appreciate it.

Sorry if I came on strong DiDi. I guess I still have a lot of energy on the pain I went thru in my marriage. I really did try sooo hard for so long. When someone finally explained to me what was going on (it wasn't all in my head) it was a revelation. My family is all pretty aggressive/aggresive so I just did not know the power of passivity.

Anyway, that may not be what is going on with your husband at all. I just had such a strong reaction to your post that I responded with my gut emotion.

Also, we shared our 50th birthday week and I've got some pretty negative energy on that too! I'm so relieved it's over. Do you feel that way as well?

Well, it looks like I may need to check out that book that was mentioned, sounds like it could help.

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I'd be interested in knowing what you think of it...even if you think it's filled with cheesy pages of crap! Many relationship books are just that, but this one has more than a few good pearls that have been very helpful to us. When I get that "gosh...somethings wrong...somethings missing...???" feeling about my marriage, I can usually boil it down to a love language issue. And of course, most of the time, it his fault, right? LOL That and the fact that for years I thought my language was Quality Time, when it's actually Words of Affirmation. Anyhow, let me know what you think.

FD, I'm glad you two are back on track. This has been an interesting thread, indeed!

Wow - I read every post and I'm shocked to see what kind of controversy this thread sparked. I too believe people are all too willing to jump on the cheating, stealing, selifsh bandwagon these days - myself included. Its hard to let go of past pain others have intentionally put us through - I'm learning too.

I did have to say that my beloved actually surprised me this year - I was expecting nothing more than a Happy Valentines day - which I got at aproximately straight up midnight into V-Day which was sweetly sent in a text message. Then when I arrived home that morning (I work nights) there was a homeade card laying on my pillow that said happy v-day - I love you - all colored with red & blue crayon on a big heart cut out of construction paper. It was really the sweetest thing, and totally unexpected from this man whom I've been with for 3 years now - just the thought of how it must have taken him at least an hour to make it was what made it special - he actually took the time to do that. No roses, no candy - but we made some great love that had to be post-poned until the next morning - but really it was very nice.