I can barely see straight. It is no big secret that today is Valentine's day. So here is how my day went. No no...let me preface this.

Last week, because I control the budget, I put $200 in DH's wallet. I laid several blatant hints that the money was for his ability to buy a gift this year for Valentines. He complains every year that he does nothing because he never has cash to spend in his wallet.

So today I wake him up with aa very treat. Shall we say he got a nice wake up call and my lips were numb for about 30 minutes after. I take him to work, and drop the kids off, then go get my toes and nails done. He likes that, and I pick out a color that is sure to get him going. I call him to see if he wants to meet for lunch...I am already at the mall where he goes to lunch. He says no...he needs quiet time. I think "okay...gift buying time." So I go home. I clean up (we are about to move so the place is a mess.) I go to the other room and REASSEMBLE the freakin dining room table so we can have dinner tonight. I take the chairs out of the closet. I give the dog a bath (something I have been asking him to do). I get all dressedup. I go to the grocery store and buy some sole and shrimp and potatoes and pre-prepare a fabulous dinner...ready to throw in the stove. I go and pick up the kids, so he doesn'thave to walk in (hee hates it in there). I pick him up. He is all depressed. "whts wrong?" I ask. "nuthin..." he replies. We get home, and it does not take a genius to see he did not go shopping. So I tell him..."Can you go to the store and get some wine? I forgot" So he goes out, and I make dinner. He is gone 2 HOURS!!! food is cold. He gets home, I reheat the food, kids are already in bed. I put it on the table, candles lit. He comes to the tble, grabs the plate and wine, and walks over to the couch and sits down to watch the olympics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remindhim that the table is back out and made up for a reason. He says..."oh, sorry." Comes back to the table, and complains that the fish is a little tough. I tell him that is because I had to reheat it. He wolfs it down without saying anything to me, puts the dishes in the sink, and kisses me on the forehead and thanks me fore dinner. then goes and sits back down.

I keep thinking he is going to surprise me with a gift. I am now in bed. he is not. He is still watching tv. I am in bed because I have a really early morning meeting tomorrow.

Just a LOVELY V-day. I hate men. I mean what the hell?!?! I married a great guy!! What the hell is going on??? Why is he suddenly an asshole? On today of all days????

Sounds like my ex. They do everything to get you, then once they do they figure they don't have to do it anymore.

Sorry you had such a bad Valentines Day.:cry

hey i know what you mean. men are just asshole. there is no pleasing them sometimes. well i hope you have a better nite and a good tommorrow

Sorry you had a crappy Valentines Day. I was bummed because I'm in a different city than my husband tonight. Maybe I should be thankful - my guy's not a big romantic either.

Look on the bright side - wouldn't it have been worse if he'd brought home a big box of chocolates?

Ya, you're right. Even chocolates would have been better.

Sorry.

DonnaB

Hey

Sorry you had such a bad day....i'm floating in the same boat.

I'm out of town and haven't even gotten an over the phone "happy v-day" from my man.

They're all assholes as some point or another.

I would be so f'ckin pissed too. I don't blame you one bit.

Sorry about that! Sounds like a bad day for sure. If it's any consolation, I had a bad day, too. My H (leaving off the D tonight) and I got in a fight and I found my roses in the driveway when I got home. Here's to Feb 15th and a better day tomorrow! Hang in there!

Kim

I'd be pretty ticked off, too. So sorry about your day--I hope tomorrow's much better.

I mean what the hell?!?! I married a great guy!! What the hell is going on??? Why is he suddenly an asshole? On today of all days????

I can see how deeply disappointed you are. I know how much you're hurting. You wanted him to see all you did for him, and to appreciate you and show you how much he wants to return the love. But something happened to him today, you said you saw he was depressed. You said he's a good man and, from your surprise at his behavior, I'd guess this is not like him to act like this.

It is very hard to get past our own hurts in times like these. It is very hard to stop and feel empathy for the one who hurts us. But as an outsider, I see two hurting people who need each other and yet are apart, each with their own hurts. Why not go out there to your man, tell him how much you love him and find out what upset him so much today. Sometimes, people know that a lot is expected of them and they just crumble. Who knows, maybe he was so worried about disappointing you that he just went ahead and did it. I used to struggle with that a lot. Then again, maybe something happened today that he's trying to deal with alone and he doesn't want to tell you and worry you? I dont know. But clearly somethings wrong.

Before you just write him (and all other men) off as assholes, why not try to love him enough to find out what happened to him.

And please.. if I've overstepped my bounds here and offended anyone, Im sorry. I'm not implying that Amy hasn't loved her husband enough. So don't think that's what I was saying. I'm just trying to encourage a healing rather than encouraging her pull even further from him and hang onto the anger.

Oh Photonut,

You're so clear minded. It is obvious you are loved, if not by a man at home, certainly by the Man upstairs.

Happy V-Day

Very good advise, Susan. Bravo.

It's much harder, but more productive to work at working things out, rather than just throw a fit and sulk and just compound the hurt and resentments.

I don't know the guy, but he clearly sounded very depressed/disappointed/possibly passively angry?? .. something was definitely wrong.

Next time keep the $200 and give yourself a day at the spa!! On second thought, ask him for the money back and make an appt. That is such a terrible thing for a husband to do and there's no excuse for it.....even if he had a bad day at work, he could still communicate that to you.

On a more rational note, I have had disappointing times, including Valentine's Day, during our marriage and come to find out, my husband didn't realize how important those "little things" were to me. He was doing what guys do best....NOTHING. I finally convinced him that doing dishes and giving the kids a bath is sexy. Things couldn't be better, but "communcation" is the key!!

Take care and maybe after letting go of a few tears, try talking to him like PhotoNut said.

Not me. He would be sleeping on the damn couch (the ratty one in the basement) if he did this! Man, the more I think about it the more pissy I even get and my DH got me an awesome vday gift. But man, I am pissed FOR you! I am all for being forgiving but some things are just the icings on the cake.

Like for instance... my ex husband got me a vacuum cleaner for christmas. Then... cleaning supplies in my stocking! Unreal. And believe me, I am already a clean housekeeper!

Just a LOVELY V-day. I hate men. I mean what the hell?!?! I married a great guy!! What the hell is going on??? Why is he suddenly an asshole? On today of all days????

Like for instance... my ex husband got me a vacuum cleaner for christmas. Then... cleaning supplies in my stocking! Unreal. And believe me, I am already a clean housekeeper!

Helloooooo he's a man:moony:!!! COME ON IF IT WAS SPELLED OUT ON THEIR FOREHEADS THEY WOULDN'T GET IT!!!!! When you do something make sure it is because YOU want to do it and you enjoy doing it. Because more then likely they won't notice it or won't say anything nice on purpose. Now get your money back and go buy yourself something:present: and then show him and tell him that it was from him.:biggrin1:

OK, I have JUST got to know... Did you ask him where the heck the money was and what the heck he was thinking? Obviously he had a bad day, but he should have given you a reason!