I can barely see straight. It is no big secret that today is Valentine's day. So here is how my day went. No no...let me preface this.

Last week, because I control the budget, I put $200 in DH's wallet. I laid several blatant hints that the money was for his ability to buy a gift this year for Valentines. He complains every year that he does nothing because he never has cash to spend in his wallet.

So today I wake him up with aa very treat. Shall we say he got a nice wake up call and my lips were numb for about 30 minutes after. I take him to work, and drop the kids off, then go get my toes and nails done. He likes that, and I pick out a color that is sure to get him going. I call him to see if he wants to meet for lunch...I am already at the mall where he goes to lunch. He says no...he needs quiet time. I think "okay...gift buying time." So I go home. I clean up (we are about to move so the place is a mess.) I go to the other room and REASSEMBLE the freakin dining room table so we can have dinner tonight. I take the chairs out of the closet. I give the dog a bath (something I have been asking him to do). I get all dressedup. I go to the grocery store and buy some sole and shrimp and potatoes and pre-prepare a fabulous dinner...ready to throw in the stove. I go and pick up the kids, so he doesn'thave to walk in (hee hates it in there). I pick him up. He is all depressed. "whts wrong?" I ask. "nuthin..." he replies. We get home, and it does not take a genius to see he did not go shopping. So I tell him..."Can you go to the store and get some wine? I forgot" So he goes out, and I make dinner. He is gone 2 HOURS!!! food is cold. He gets home, I reheat the food, kids are already in bed. I put it on the table, candles lit. He comes to the tble, grabs the plate and wine, and walks over to the couch and sits down to watch the olympics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remindhim that the table is back out and made up for a reason. He says..."oh, sorry." Comes back to the table, and complains that the fish is a little tough. I tell him that is because I had to reheat it. He wolfs it down without saying anything to me, puts the dishes in the sink, and kisses me on the forehead and thanks me fore dinner. then goes and sits back down.

I keep thinking he is going to surprise me with a gift. I am now in bed. he is not. He is still watching tv. I am in bed because I have a really early morning meeting tomorrow.

Just a LOVELY V-day. I hate men. I mean what the hell?!?! I married a great guy!! What the hell is going on??? Why is he suddenly an asshole? On today of all days????

Sorry you had a crappy V-day He should have been more thoughtfull.

Did you get him a card or explain that the candles and dinner was for Valentine's?

OKay it is obvious that the money is spent. He probably was so excited about having the $200 extra bucks he couldn't see straight. He might of thought you slipped. LOL So with that said next check give him just enough for a beer and some peanuts. Go buy you something fabulous. Get the hair , nails, and toes done. WHen he gets home dress up and go somewhere all dolled up. Even if it is just to the movies or to dinner with your girlfriends. When he asks you where are you going tell him oh it's Valentine's Day and I have plans. LOL LOL

WOW there is a lot of hurt here. It makes me sad for everybody. My DH and I have NEVER exchanged gifts for anything like Christmas, birthday, V-Day or anything like that. I have always been of the philosophy that if it is a gift from the heart why what until a certain day to give it. Give it when YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING IT. If I see a need I fill it if I am able to. If I see a gift I give it when I am able to. Very satifsying that way. M

It appears you have a communication problem, from this perspective both you and your DH spent the day waiting for the other one to do the right thing but you bothe refused to tell the other person what the hell you wanted. He obviously had something on his mind and he was waiting for you to ask him what the problem was. You obviously were in the same position. You both chose to sit and stew about your issue, I bet he is now discussing how his DW was completely un-interested in him last night and how she paid no attention to his strong signalling that he needed support.

Both you and he need to say whats on your minds and get things on the table. If you are waiting for your partner to be able to read minds you will be waiting a long time and so will he.

Make February 15th your special day this year and start it off by communicating.

WOW there is a lot of hurt here. It makes me sad for everybody. My DH and I have NEVER exchanged gifts for anything like Christmas, birthday, V-Day or anything like that. I have always been of the philosophy that if it is a gift from the heart why what until a certain day to give it. Give it when YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING IT. If I see a need I fill it if I am able to. If I see a gift I give it when I am able to. Very satifsying that way. M

I have to agree with you 100% I've been very happily married 19 years. Married when I was 18.What I got for valentines...A wonderful kiss and "I Love you more than Yesterday". Then we went to Costo& looked for things I can eat at the health food store for phase 2. What a great day..just about like any other.I would never probe my husband for "whats wrong" If he is having a bad day ..I'm here if he wants to talk..If not than he'll get over it and life goes on...It has for 19 years.We are a team"equals"I never have to ask him for anything..vice versa.

I agree with 3loves ask for the $200 and buy yourself something "from him". My DH didn't get me anything either but he wrote me a poem and put it in my purse for me to find.

It made me make me happy............

Wow I too would be pissed and hurt. Why do some Men act like that? I would get the money back ASAP. Why is he depressed? Did he spend the money else where and did not want to tell you? So act depressed - I know that all too well. My husband soon to be ex did not give our boys anything.. Go figure

Fathers are expected to give their sons gifts for Valentine's day?

Should fathers do anything for their sons? Why not! If we expect our sons to grow up and treat their woman right, we have to show them "how it is done". My husband and I sent valentines to all our kids (35 yrs old down to 20)... boys included. They all called to wish us a nice day...

I have always thought of valentines day as a HALLMARK HOLIDAY. A day to make those alone feel bad, a day for those who have someone to have expectations..... With expectations always come disapointment.

I am sorry for those who had bad days, ... but today is a new one and I hope the sun is shinning on you

Wow, so when did the day for romance and love become something that parents did for their kids. I'm not being snotty here, seriously. I thought this was a day for lovers, sweethearts, romance.

One question not answered is where did he think the money came from; what was it meant for; and what did he do with it. I hope he gave it back. Men...I miss mine horribly. He never, ever forgot Valentine's Day and to tell me he loved me, but he died 10 years ago. I miss him with every breath I take.

To me Valentines is a day of showing you care about that someone whether it be your wife your Girlfriend Or Love of your life. I teach my Son's about every holiday but I also stress to them the best gift of all is "I LOVE YOU followed with a HUG"

We as wife's do so much for our mates and if they cannot do something just once a year then that is pretty sad.

My Husband comes from Mexico and says that in his family they never celebrated it so why should he?:faint:

In my relationship it is my wife who is more likely to forget things like Anniversaries and valentines day. We love each other very much, every day of the year. We are not perfect we fight and get mad at each other but I have no doubt that she loves me and she has no doubt that I love her. I laugh when she forgets because I know this to be true.

If you expect different results do things differently, as I have said in the past, the only person you can change is yourself. So go out and bye some flowers and give them to him, if you like to get them he probably does too. I have a sign over my desk that is reads "Insanity - Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result"

If you plan to sit and wait for someone to do something you want versus them doing someting they normally do, plan to sit and wait for a long time

We sometimes set ourselves up for this stuff.

I've learned in the course of a 23 year marriage to simply tell my husband what I expect - a few days before I want/need it. Then if he does not do it - I can honestly be mad at him. Remember just because you have asked for something does not mean that when you get it that it is less of a gift.

Try the library. There's a great book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Excellent resource for any couple! There's also a version for finding out your kid's love languages. Anyhow, thought I'd throw that out there.

I requested no flowers, no card, no money spent (the budget is waaaay too snug these days!) and got "I love You"s and "Happy Valentine's Day"s all day yesterday. And we put the kids to bed early My Love Language is Words of Affirmation. Hubby's is Physical Touch. We are both happy!

Here are the 5 Languages:

Quality Time

Words of Affirmation

Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch.

Intriguing stuff. Just in case anyone is interested. I'm sorry VDay has been a bummer for some of you. (((((HUGS)))))