I have been pretty private with the decision to have the Lapband. My husband, parents, sister and best friend were all that knew I was even thinking about it, and other than a co-worker, know that I am having it done in February. I own a two-family home, and my brother and sister in-law live downstairs, and who are both very overweight. We always joke about out weight and out horrible eating habits, but she has noticed that I have had a lot of appointments lately, and have changed my usually over-eating ways. I am very close with my sister in-law, and I want to tell her, but I am afraid of what her reaction will be. She could either be really supportive? Or she can be kinda negative, or even worse compete with me and go for it too. She always said she felt like we were always so close because we are heavy. I don't want that anymore, ya know? Am I making sense?

At work, I am a teacher surrounded by men and women who are tiny. I am very tall and very overweight. I would love to have someone to talk to about this in the lunch room, or have them stop asking if I want another chocolate. They won't understand, and I just feel like this is so private for me still. Anyone else feel that way? That is such a private thing that they don't want people to know about?

I told everyone-my church, my work, my family, my Facebook. I'm really glad I did. I've gotten such great encouragement from them all. Mostly people tell me they want me around a lot more years and that made me feel great. I didnt know how worried some of my friends had been about me. But I know everyone is different and has different kinds of friends and family. It was a good decision for me though.

Your manager broke the law in telling the coworkers...glad you can put a positive light on it!

I didnt have a choice but to tell my work. I work for a very small buisness and we get no vacation time. So if you need a week off you better have a VERY GOOD reason. I am a little upset though that the manager took it upon herself to tell everyone I work with...oh well more motivation to do well I guess

I think you should just tell her. I told everyone I know as well...work, family, best friends.. some people still don't know but I just tell the people that I'm around the most, its just easier that way...if they don't like it, that's their problem! I'm doing it anyway- but everybody is very happy for me- my mother had gastric bypass and lost 100 pounds, was able to keep it off for ten years now. So she is very supportive for me doing this, she wanted me to. Even though she had complications, but this is a totally different surgery and safer. Good luck.

Amanda, I am like you I dont want anyone to know. It is a very personal and private decision. I am still in the 6 month nutritional phase of it and I have only told my mom, my daughter, and one close friend at work. I guess my reason for not telling people is that I dont want to be talked about, judged, or told that was the wrong thing to do and you took the easy way out. Well what is easy for them is not easy for me. Plus if I dont loose like I want to I will be discouraged enough and will not need them putting in their two cents.

Good luck

I didnt have a choice but to tell my work. I work for a very small buisness and we get no vacation time. So if you need a week off you better have a VERY GOOD reason. I am a little upset though that the manager took it upon herself to tell everyone I work with...oh well more motivation to do well I guess

That's against the law. Although considering its a small business I'm sure you won't do anything about that (I would just let it go.) For your boss to share your medical information with others, HIPAA violation big time! So sorry that you have to deal with that. But you'll show them all! Good luck to you.

Hello all.... My mother had gastric bypass in 2004. She was very private about it and I didn't really understand. I had lap band surgery in January and I told EVERYONE... I was so excited and had my mind made up about the surgery so I did not care about anyone's opinions.....BUT I find that now that I have had the surgery I no longer get "hello how are you?" I get... "so how many lbs have you lost" and people expect that you are going to leave 100 lbs over night. I also find some "friends" and co-workers blatantly try to sabotage... They will sit right in front of you and eat bad food and make comments it was very annoying for me.... Also I have one specific friend who has lost weight in a VERY unhealthy way (she drinks wine all day and only eats dinner) I sent her a message yesterday and we talked about my recent struggle with my weight loss and she then sends me a message that says "you need to come over to eat and drink" not we should get together some time "you need to come over to eat and drink" REALLY? I politely responded.... " I would be glad to come enjoy a low carb dinner and sugar free drink with you" .... Good luck with you surgery and I hope whatever decision you make it works out for you!

Bekh86- above post. I must just be really emotional lately d/t upcoming band, but I feel like that is exactly how it is. I have had to work with nutritionist for 6 months and do exercise plan for 6 months before hand, and of course I told everyone, bad mistake. Because you do get the 'you look great!' but it's ALWAYS followed by 'how much have you lost.' You're absolutely right. And then followed by 'why get the surgery if you're already losing weight...' I just want to say a 100% agree with your post, it is always nice to find someone who feels the same way- we're not in it alone! Thank you and Good luck.

I actually ended up telling my sister in-law about a week ago. She was curious why I had a sleep study done, and I just came out and said it. She said she was so jealous but happy for me at the same time. She is still planning on having more children, so when she is done, she said she may do it too. Was a lot easier than orginally planned. Since I started this post, I have told a few more people. I told another co-worker that works in the next classroom, and my cousin. They were both so excited and supportive. Makes this journey so much more exciting when people around you are on board and supportive with you!

It seems like to tell or not to tell: Just tell the right people, people who you know care about you. And as was said, you can't un-tell. But I'm glad you are getting support, and it must have felt like a huge weight was lifted to tell your SIL.

It defintely was!

That's really awesome Amanda! I'm so happy for you. If they love you they should support you either way!!

I am so happy you told her. I had a feeling that would be her reaction. A lot of us heavy people who can't lose weight and are hopeless sometimes act like the weight doesn't bother us but its just a front we put up. You can now lead the way and you can possibly give her hope and new Outlook on her health and hopefully you both will support each other along the way.

I actually ended up telling my sister in-law about a week ago. She was curious why I had a sleep study done, and I just came out and said it. She said she was so jealous but happy for me at the same time. She is still planning on having more children, so when she is done, she said she may do it too. Was a lot easier than orginally planned. Since I started this post, I have told a few more people. I told another co-worker that works in the next classroom, and my cousin. They were both so excited and supportive. Makes this journey so much more exciting when people around you are on board and supportive with you!

That's an interesting diet. Never heard that one before. Sounds like your friend has a drinking problem now instead of a food problem. I really didnt tell many and i am beginning to realize that only few people understand food addiction and being banded. Lucky for me my husband was just banded and i will be banded in 5 days. I have a feeling though I am going to gain lots if new banded friends and that will be alot more supportive then any of my real friends. Try to go to some support groups and if course here, there are tons of inspirational friends out there

Hello all.... My mother had gastric bypass in 2004. She was very private about it and I didn't really understand. I had lap band surgery in January and I told EVERYONE... I was so excited and had my mind made up about the surgery so I did not care about anyone's opinions.....BUT I find that now that I have had the surgery I no longer get "hello how are you?" I get... "so how many lbs have you lost" and people expect that you are going to leave 100 lbs over night. I also find some "friends" and co-workers blatantly try to sabotage... They will sit right in front of you and eat bad food and make comments it was very annoying for me.... Also I have one specific friend who has lost weight in a VERY unhealthy way (she drinks wine all day and only eats dinner) I sent her a message yesterday and we talked about my recent struggle with my weight loss and she then sends me a message that says "you need to come over to eat and drink" not we should get together some time "you need to come over to eat and drink" REALLY? I politely responded.... " I would be glad to come enjoy a low carb dinner and sugar free drink with you" .... Good luck with you surgery and I hope whatever decision you make it works out for you!

Thank you. My fiancé and family are VERY supportive as well as my fiancé's family. That is all I need. And you are absolutely right. I think she does have a drinking problem and I really do distance my self from her and the other negative people in my life. Life is too short! Congrats to you and your husband! You two will be so happy!

I hope so because I am scared sh*tless lol.

Thank you. My fiancé and family are VERY supportive as well as my fiancé's family. That is all I need. And you are absolutely right. I think she does have a drinking problem and I really do distance my self from her and the other negative people in my life. Life is too short! Congrats to you and your husband! You two will be so happy!