I am in the process of getting a lapband. My husband is a FA (fat admirer). I am worried that once I lose all the weight he won't be attracted to me anymore. He swears that it isn't just the physical attraction, but even more the mental attraction for him. Has anyone else dealt with this? Thanks for any advice.

I am in the process of getting a lapband. My husband is a FA (fat admirer). I am worried that once I lose all the weight he won't be attracted to me anymore. He swears that it isn't just the physical attraction, but even more the mental attraction for him. Has anyone else dealt with this? Thanks for any advice.

i'm not married, so i know married people love getting advice from non-married people (lol) but you want to get healthy. your not going to stay overweight to keep a guy, and sacrifice your health?

i had a friend...tell me the same thing over lunch one day her husband loved her the way she was, he didn't like skinny girls...less than 4 months later...his new girlfriend was pregnant (while they were married) and skinny, my friend and him got a divorce and shes lost close to 80 lbs since then.

i know there are alot of compromises in a marriage, and i haven't had to deal with them, but in my opinion, he loves you, and if he wants to grow old with you, thats only gonna happen when you lower your risk for heart disease, diabetes, and any other comorbities that come with being overweight.

im married and my husband constantly feels like if I loose weight that I will not be attracted to him and feel the need to find someone else...

He thinks im going to be thin and move on to someone knew or something, its a constant battle, almost like he doesnt want me to have the surgery...

I tell him thats not going to happene and I want the band to feel better about myself and be heatlher...

Your health is the most important! He should love you no matter what size you are and you being around longer should be important to him.

Would yoou change how you feel about him if he changed, if got fat skinny went to war and lost a leg- this is all outward, love is inside unconditional, but for us to really love another, we want te best for them. to be healthy- happy fullilled, and satisfied we have done our best. time to get our eyes off looks and look deeper into our hearts

There is actually a psychology behind guys who like heavy girls and a lot of it has to do with a sense of control over the girl because of her lower self esteem. The knowing that the girl feels like at her size she is happy to have someone. I would say it's a good time to really establish a stronger basis for your love for each other beyond outward appearance...

Good luck to Master Harper. Love is more than skin deep (or is that skin depth!) I thought my husband was a fat admirer too until he encouraged me to get my band because he doesn't want me to die or end up in a wheelchair.

Thank you everyone! He has already said that he loves me no matter what weight I am. Even if he hadn't said that, it wouldn't effect my surgery. Getting healthy is my number 1 priority right now. I really appreciate all of your thoughts and advice!! Much luck to all of you too!!!

My hubby likes bigger girls too and I was afraid at one point that he would be less attracted to me (and he was afraid I would run off after becoming 'hot and skinny') but like these other girls said, he loves me for me regardless of my size...bigger or smaller (I was 100 lbs smaller when he met me) and I know I will still love him just as much no matter what size either of us are.

If he loved you enough to marry you, I'm sure it wasn't only because you are a big beautiful lady

Thanks ErinMarie!! I know that he will love me regardless of my size. I think it is just the nerves and everything else with impending surgery. Thank you!!!

im married and my husband constantly feels like if I loose weight that I will not be attracted to him and feel the need to find someone else...

He thinks im going to be thin and move on to someone knew or something, its a constant battle, almost like he doesnt want me to have the surgery...

I tell him thats not going to happene and I want the band to feel better about myself and be heatlher...

Oh my goodness i go thr the same thing with my husband. He really feels like im going to get thin and go freaking nuts ! He watches the Youtubes videos of wls ladies in bikinis and it scares the crap outta him.

i told him he better watch it ! i kid. lol

invite him to go along the process with you...he doesn't have to lose weight or have wls, but to be with you through this time and celebrate with you as you learn a new life style and being a new you.

my DH loves big, bold, beautiful bodacious gals and did not want me to have wls because he was worried about the surgery. I sat him down and told him that I was going to do this for me and not for him, but would love to have him by my side as i do this. Once we talked it out and he knew that i was doing this for my health and not because i thought he wanted me to...he jumped on board. he is my strongest supporter and advocate. he goes to the follow ups, the support meetings and even exercises with me when he can.

there are many reasons why a relationship does not survive wls and then there are the many whose relationships maintain and continue to grow stronger...

congrats on choosing your journey and good luck with your new life style

There is actually a psychology behind guys who like heavy girls and a lot of it has to do with a sense of control over the girl because of her lower self esteem. The knowing that the girl feels like at her size she is happy to have someone. I would say it's a good time to really establish a stronger basis for your love for each other beyond outward appearance...

I agree with this. Within reason, I'm not really conscious of DH's weight or about how he looks, he's just him! I know for a fact that I'm not his "type". We didnt meet because we saw each other across the room and the sparks flew, we got to know each other through mutual friends and a friendship grew - if he'd been looking for a woman who caught his eye, she wouldnt have looked anyting like me. He likes petite, curvy, very dark haired and ivory skinned kinda women, I'm mousy brown, 5ft 10, willowy and not the least bit curvy with olive/freckly skin. He's a breast man through and through, I'm lucky to fill out a B cup. I dont worry in the LEAST that his eye will wander becuase we've built a life together which eniether of us would jeaopardise. I know he'll look occcasionally, but so do I!

Fat/thin can be a little different because I agree there's that control issue over the fat chick thing going on, and its about health also. I mean if DH hit 300lb I'd be pretty concerned.