Not Getting Support

[crash878905 2]

Hi Everyone

I have not been banded yet, but will be on July 6th. I know of 2 family members that have been banded and one family friend. I have researched all things Gastric Banding for over a year and thought about it for what seems like forever. I see a lot of people in their 40s, 50s, even 60s say that they wish they got it in their 20s. Well, I'm 23 and ready to lose this weight get healthy, and start my life.

Only one problem-- some people that I tell about the band are either not excited or try to discourage me. I have limited the number of people I tell because I haven't gotten a very positive response. And at this point, all I want is support for my decision.

The one person I thought would hate the idea is actually one of my biggest supporters! Which is a great feeling. I just wish that people didn't see this as a terrible, deadly, unnatural decision. They're making me nervous and filling my head with doubts. I just keep thinking of the positive and looking forward to my new life.

Have any of you banded people been through the same thing? How did you handle it?

[kaydin81 8]

Yes, I am currently going through the same thing. In all honesty, I haven't told very many people BECAUSE of the negative responses I've been getting. And typically its the really skinny people who are quick to comment. One coworker said "so you just feel like this is the end, theres no other way to do it, huh?" I said, no I feel like this is going to be the beginning of my new life! Once I am banded, I'll be happy to tell people, but really its no ones business but my own. I will be working hard, so I know its not just the band doing all the work. So who knows if I'll talk about it a lot or not. But, the most important person you need to keep happy is yourself. A lot of times people are jealous because they think you will be skinnier than they are!! Thats why a lot of people are negative. Keep your head up. We are doing this for a reason and have committed our life to changing. Hang in there!

[crash878905 2]

Yes, I am currently going through the same thing. In all honesty, I haven't told very many people BECAUSE of the negative responses I've been getting. And typically its the really skinny people who are quick to comment. One coworker said "so you just feel like this is the end, theres no other way to do it, huh?" I said, no I feel like this is going to be the beginning of my new life! Once I am banded, I'll be happy to tell people, but really its no ones business but my own. I will be working hard, so I know its not just the band doing all the work. So who knows if I'll talk about it a lot or not. But, the most important person you need to keep happy is yourself. A lot of times people are jealous because they think you will be skinnier than they are!! Thats why a lot of people are negative. Keep your head up. We are doing this for a reason and have committed our life to changing. Hang in there!

Thanks so much... you're right... I am the the one who I need to keep happy.

[Msz Alie 0]

Don't worry about what other people have to say. We all want support, but we have to realize that not eveyone will be supportive. It starts with us. Don't let anyone fill your head with doubts, it is your body and this is your decision. Everyone i've told so far ( mom, boyfriend, bestfriend, and 2 aunts) have been supportive. My moms first reaction when i was just contemplating the idea was horrid. She was more afraid though. She got me to join the YMCA... i'm paying 40 bucks a months for nothing... for the last 6 months. I've gone on and off but after awhile i made the decision to attend a seminar and get all of the pre-liminary stuff done. I told her i've started the process and she's a little better now. she even offered to go to the hospital and my appointments with me and everything... I think she's just worried about something happening to me. I'm not planning on telling more people about it. I have a channel on Youtube and if someone happens to come across it, then so be it. I don't care who knows, I just don't care to hear people trying to discourage me from what I WANT DO! Go ahead girl.... you need to do your own thing and make this work for you!

[mesha030 0]

I'm so glad to see this blog because I'm going through the samething with my family and not been supportive just on this father's day everyone came up to me surrounding me saying no please don't do it's got to be another way for you to lose the weight. I was so down when I left I was just crying and not knowing what I should do and my husband say you can't listen to others you have to do what right for you. I'm just going through to much stress about this I wish I never told anyone. So I know how you feel too...

[ms.lady 3]

Hi Mesha ~

I agree with your husband. I personally have chosen to tell no one other than the person I will ask for a ride following my procedure. I have gotten negative comments in the past when I was playing with the idea. Best wishes to you in the future.

[dixiechick 4]

Yes, I am currently going through the same thing. In all honesty, I haven't told very many people BECAUSE of the negative responses I've been getting. And typically its the really skinny people who are quick to comment. One coworker said "so you just feel like this is the end, theres no other way to do it, huh?" I said, no I feel like this is going to be the beginning of my new life! Once I am banded, I'll be happy to tell people, but really its no ones business but my own. I will be working hard, so I know its not just the band doing all the work. So who knows if I'll talk about it a lot or not. But, the most important person you need to keep happy is yourself. A lot of times people are jealous because they think you will be skinnier than they are!! Thats why a lot of people are negative. Keep your head up. We are doing this for a reason and have committed our life to changing. Hang in there!

I understand your need for support. I have decided to keep it only a very close circle of people. Of course I told my husband (he had lap band in Oct 2011), my best friend ( she had it March 2010) and my mom.

I really did not want to tell my mom, because I knew she would not approve. I also knew that I could not keep it from her, due to change in eating habits . I also knew that I would hurt her even more by keeping it from her. Once I explained to her why I wanted the surgery and showed her all my information, she is on my side.

Hang in there and we are doing what is right for us and for the first time in our lives putting ourselves first and getting the life that we deserve.

[coffeelover 0]

I had trouble deciding if I wanted to do the surgery. I felt like it was the easy way out and could not get the question "Why can I not do this on my own" out of my head. My doctor explained that there is a chemical in our bodies that tell us to keep eating. It's not a matter of willpower, our bodies work against us. So...I have realized this is NOT the easy way out. I will have to work very hard to make this work and be successful. This is just a tool, like joining the gym, or joining a diet program.

[Elie936 1]

Yeah, ppl can be mean and jealous or just judgmental. Many ppl i told about the lap band did not listen to my explanation and tought it was by pass. Some ppl told me after the operation, well i didnt want to tell you, but my friend died on the o table, after hours of surgery! I said that is because it is not the same surgery At allllll!!!!!!

Once they see you loosing weight, thwy will think differently. A woman at my work had it done 3 yrs ago, my mother didnt understand her And was so quick to say how dangerous it was. Finally, other ppl got it done, and the day i told my mother i wanted the surgery, she wS just waiting for me to bring it up, because her too thought ppl were succesfull.

Another thing, our dr say not to tell too many ppl, because the weight loss is not that quick.

I Am in this phase, i feel everyone is wAtching me

[brbm6 6]

I have had the same experience with my husband's family being non-supportive. I really think it is the fear of the unknown. They have heard a lot of bad things about bypass but not much about Lap-Band. Also, my husbands family is very heavy and I think the negative comments are really about their insecurities. Hang in there. You did this for your health not theirs!