Needing Support

[Wondering If I Should 0]

Hi...I'm a newbie. I don't really have a date for my surgery. In fact, my initial consultation is on 1/8/11. I'm really just not sure what to do yet. I'm getting so depressed.

My husband is very supportive and I love that. However, I recently told my close friend that I was considering it and she was very negative. She said things like people need to just diet and exercise instead of doing this "quick fix" surgery. It's not like that for me. I was a size 12 (which is the size that I really loved) and I'm now almost too big for a size 24. I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and shortly after discovered I was pregnant. I gained over 100lbs in the past 2yrs (with thyroid and pregnancy) and I have tried every diet and exercise regimen...but they just don't work. My friend's comments made me feel bad as if I was a slacker for even considering the surgery. Did anyone else have a similar response from friends/family?

[malexander 0]

I have had people say things like that to me before too. Right before my surgery my sister said "Why don't you try going to the gym?" You can't let anyone's opinion rule your life. You know what is best for you. This is not an easy way out-- AT ALL. It is a life changing event and there is no quick fix to it. It requires sacrifice, self control, and a lifetime of comittment. Maybe you should educate her... Sounds like she doesn't know much about the surgery!

Good luck to you. It is an exciting journey. You deserve to be happy!

[kcg 6]

Welcome to the site. In regards to how people respond to the wls, they vary. Not everyone sees wls as the appropriate response to weightloss. What you have to bear in mind also is that not everyone will support you unconditionally about every decision you make. My advice will be for you to be content in yourself and make the decision that best meets your needs.

Did I read right that you`ve gone from size 12 to 24 in 2 years with your illness and pregnancy? Did you manage to lose any weight post the birth? Weight issues can be real hussle and depressing. Ignore negative comments and do what`s right for number 1. Good luck on the journey.

[Dave_NW 92]

You need to remember, and maybe tell your friend, that if weight loss surgery was a quick fix, then nobody would be fat anymore. This is YOUR journey, and if you're comfortable that the gym isn't the right answer for you, then banding might be a solution. Don't let others try to distract you from your ultimate goal, which is weight loss so you can be a healthier person. A side effect of that is clothes that fit, and a better attitude. But in the meantime, you'll be healthier and happier for your child and husband, but mostly for yourself.

Keep researching, and decide whether banding is the right choice for you. If you do decide to do it, you'll find a whole new world is waiting for you after your surgery. The alternative is to do nothing, and continue to be frustrated with your life as it is now.

My biggest regret about being banded is that I waited as long as I did. I wish I had done this years ago.

Good luck!

Dave

[camille01 2]

Hi...I'm a newbie. I don't really have a date for my surgery. In fact, my initial consultation is on 1/8/11. I'm really just not sure what to do yet. I'm getting so depressed.

My husband is very supportive and I love that. However, I recently told my close friend that I was considering it and she was very negative. She said things like people need to just diet and exercise instead of doing this "quick fix" surgery. It's not like that for me. I was a size 12 (which is the size that I really loved) and I'm now almost too big for a size 24. I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and shortly after discovered I was pregnant. I gained over 100lbs in the past 2yrs (with thyroid and pregnancy) and I have tried every diet and exercise regimen...but they just don't work. My friend's comments made me feel bad as if I was a slacker for even considering the surgery. Did anyone else have a similar response from friends/family?

hello,Wondering

I was just reading your blog and thinking about what you were writing about as I was reading,I was in the same position ,my husband was against it till we shared in the info,then it gave him a better understanding as what I wanted to do this for,there are reasons we do what we do to our bodys,there is several different websites to educate your self before making such a drastic desision,and your friend,she cant really call herself a friend if she doesn't support you in your desisions that you make because if it was her I am sure that you will support her,this is like a life altering change that we make,I havn't had my 1st appointment yet until Jan 10th and Iam excited so if your friend dosent support you in your desision ,you need a new friend...think about it if the shoe was on the other foot,I am here if you need dont mind support from a strainger...Just keep your husband by your side,he's your best friend anyway....love and cherish your relationship with him like I do and please thank him for being there ....thanks for reading and leting me share my feelings....camille01

[Wondering If I Should 0]

I have had people say things like that to me before too. Right before my surgery my sister said "Why don't you try going to the gym?" You can't let anyone's opinion rule your life. You know what is best for you. This is not an easy way out-- AT ALL. It is a life changing event and there is no quick fix to it. It requires sacrifice, self control, and a lifetime of comittment. Maybe you should educate her... Sounds like she doesn't know much about the surgery!

Good luck to you. It is an exciting journey. You deserve to be happy!

Malexander - I think you are so right. The general perception is that once you have the surgery, the weight just falls off with little to no effort. From what I've read, there's still the need to manage your nutrition, exercise, etc.

Thanks for the encouragement!

[Wondering If I Should 0]

You need to remember, and maybe tell your friend, that if weight loss surgery was a quick fix, then nobody would be fat anymore. This is YOUR journey, and if you're comfortable that the gym isn't the right answer for you, then banding might be a solution. Don't let others try to distract you from your ultimate goal, which is weight loss so you can be a healthier person. A side effect of that is clothes that fit, and a better attitude. But in the meantime, you'll be healthier and happier for your child and husband, but mostly for yourself.

Keep researching, and decide whether banding is the right choice for you. If you do decide to do it, you'll find a whole new world is waiting for you after your surgery. The alternative is to do nothing, and continue to be frustrated with your life as it is now.

My biggest regret about being banded is that I waited as long as I did. I wish I had done this years ago.

Good luck!

Dave

Thank you so much, Dave!

[Wondering If I Should 0]

hello,Wondering

I was just reading your blog and thinking about what you were writing about as I was reading,I was in the same position ,my husband was against it till we shared in the info,then it gave him a better understanding as what I wanted to do this for,there are reasons we do what we do to our bodys,there is several different websites to educate your self before making such a drastic desision,and your friend,she cant really call herself a friend if she doesn't support you in your desisions that you make because if it was her I am sure that you will support her,this is like a life altering change that we make,I havn't had my 1st appointment yet until Jan 10th and Iam excited so if your friend dosent support you in your desision ,you need a new friend...think about it if the shoe was on the other foot,I am here if you need dont mind support from a strainger...Just keep your husband by your side,he's your best friend anyway....love and cherish your relationship with him like I do and please thank him for being there ....thanks for reading and leting me share my feelings....camille01

Marnetta - It certainly sounds like you know where I'm coming from. Your first appt is 2 days after mine. Maybe we should talk after yours and discuss our "take" on the information we received. I would love to have a friend that is going through the same process as me. Are you a self-pay or trying to get your insurance to pay?

[Wondering If I Should 0]

Welcome to the site. In regards to how people respond to the wls, they vary. Not everyone sees wls as the appropriate response to weightloss. What you have to bear in mind also is that not everyone will support you unconditionally about every decision you make. My advice will be for you to be content in yourself and make the decision that best meets your needs.

Did I read right that you`ve gone from size 12 to 24 in 2 years with your illness and pregnancy? Did you manage to lose any weight post the birth? Weight issues can be real hussle and depressing. Ignore negative comments and do what`s right for number 1. Good luck on the journey.

Yes, you read correctly. It's a long and convoluted story...I thought my weight gain was due to something else and then I found out about the hypothyroidism and then the pregnancy so I ignored it and assumed I could just lose it after the baby was born. However, I didn't lose the weight and just continued to gain more. Now I need to do something to stop this vicious cycle.

[TanyaOwens 0]

Hi There, I think a lot of us know what you are feeling. I just decided I want to get the surgery and was very thankful that my husband and my mom are all for it. My son 14 seems a little nervous but I will show him more info and he will be fine. I told my husband I didnt want everyone to know, I think cause I am afraid of getting the same reaction you got. Ya, we all know we should be able to just excercise 5 hours a day and eat celery right! Wrong. I think it is natural to feel like this is the easy way out but after reading and talking I have come to realize that it isnt. So we dont need to feel guilty or whatever. I am excited. I have to wait 2 weeks to see my primary doctor and hopefully she will be on board with me so I can be referred to a surgeon (hmo). Let me know when you go to your appointment and how it goes.........forget about the negative people around........we will show them!

[Quilter at Heart 0]

Hi...I'm a newbie. I don't really have a date for my surgery. In fact, my initial consultation is on 1/8/11. I'm really just not sure what to do yet. I'm getting so depressed.

My husband is very supportive and I love that. However, I recently told my close friend that I was considering it and she was very negative. She said things like people need to just diet and exercise instead of doing this "quick fix" surgery. It's not like that for me. I was a size 12 (which is the size that I really loved) and I'm now almost too big for a size 24. I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and shortly after discovered I was pregnant. I gained over 100lbs in the past 2yrs (with thyroid and pregnancy) and I have tried every diet and exercise regimen...but they just don't work. My friend's comments made me feel bad as if I was a slacker for even considering the surgery. Did anyone else have a similar response from friends/family?

Hi Wondering...

I have my initial consultation on 1/13/11 and I understand how you feel. I hope that we will be able to keep in touch throughout our journey. I have only told my immediate family as I too worry about what people will say. My close friend has voiced an opinion several times that it's too extreme and badly affects you for the rest of your life. I agree with bubbles772 and say that she is simply not informed. No one knows unless they have been in our shoes what failure feels like. I told my primary physician today that the only thing holding me back was the guilt that I failed at being able to loose the weight "the right way". His answer says it all -" in this world we will fail without Christ in anything we do................and to not let guilt overcloud this desicion - this is a decision to get healthy."

I agree with him, so I scheduled the appointment and go for the seminar on the 13th. Would love to hear how your visit goes!!

God bless,

Quilter at Heart

[Alikat0409 0]

Hi...I have told everyone and I have had a few negative comments but not too many. I dont think people that are not very overweight understand how it feels and how hard it is to get the weight off. I chose the band as I want a tool to help me not eat so much. Honestly it really doesnt matter what anyone else thinks. When you are thinner, exercising will be easier and you will feel better. Prove them wrong.

Oh and i got the ticker at tickerfactory.com

Alison

[Stephy5 33]

Ohhh I am sorry she made you feel that way. When I think back to myself being against WLS there were a few reasons and the biggest one I think is jealousy. I think when I heard friends were doing what was best for them I was jealous that I wasn't strong enough to make that decision for myself. I don't mean your friend doesn't want the best for you and I am not even saying she is jealous. But it is something to think about. Second thing is lack of information. When you tell those people you want to know ,maybe you need to have some brochures with you or something to explain it. This is not a quick fix but a tool. Obesity is a disease and can cause bad issues including death. If you explain to your friend that you want to be healthy she may understand better.

Now that I have decided this IS what I WANT now I can stand up and tell people I AM DOING THIS and I WILL live with the good or the bad of it. They have been much more supportive.

Good luck in your decision and stick around here. These people have alot to offer.

[Dreamingof139 3]

Hi...I'm a newbie. I don't really have a date for my surgery. In fact, my initial consultation is on 1/8/11. I'm really just not sure what to do yet. I'm getting so depressed.

My husband is very supportive and I love that. However, I recently told my close friend that I was considering it and she was very negative. She said things like people need to just diet and exercise instead of doing this "quick fix" surgery. It's not like that for me. I was a size 12 (which is the size that I really loved) and I'm now almost too big for a size 24. I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and shortly after discovered I was pregnant. I gained over 100lbs in the past 2yrs (with thyroid and pregnancy) and I have tried every diet and exercise regimen...but they just don't work. My friend's comments made me feel bad as if I was a slacker for even considering the surgery. Did anyone else have a similar response from friends/family?

This us a huge life changing decision and you need to learn as much as you can and educate yourself until you are comfortable moving forward. I had my surgery in September and less than 10 people know about it. No one at work, not my husbands family, very few of my friends. I told my family, but they all live thousands of miles away and I told them after the fact. I just told a close friend last week - we were eating lunch and I was careless and starting foaming and had to excuse myself - she looked panicked, so I told her. She was really happy for me, but she is really big and I can predict that our friendship will NOT survive my weight loss. Very sad.

Thank goodness you have a supportive husband - that is a great asset to you on your journey. Let me guess, your friend with the opinion is either naturally thin and likes that you are bigger than her or she is also big and scared of what will happen if you lose the weight. Major reason that I did not tell people - I just did not want to hear it. My primary doctor said to go for it, it is completely excluded in my insurance, so I ripped open my retirement and flew to Cancun for a few days. Only my husband knew where I was going.

YOU ARE NOT A SLACKER. Trust me, if this was easy, morbid obesity would not be as big an issue as it is right now. Statistically, the risks of staying obese are much worse than the risks of surgery... in my case, I was WAY more likely to die driving to the airport or flying to Cancun than I was during or after the surgery.

In the last five days, I have played racquetball for an hour four of the five days... and while I am not great at it - I can run around and hit the ball and laugh for an hour without having to stop every few minutes to avoid fainting (pre op).

Has it been all roses, heck no. Would I do it again - in a NY minute. My two biggest regrets are not doing this years ago and not bringing someone with me to Cancun - I had a nurse friend lined up and she was not able to make it. I also realized that I do not want/need an expensive aftercare program - good thing as I live in the middle of no where and I have been kicked out of the closest one (three hours away) for asking them to bill my insurance for a fill - I had to ask six times and it has still not generated an EOB... people... so, they told me to find another doctor.

Talk to as many people as you can who have had the surgery - most docs will have info seminars and will have patients there for you to talk to. I was able to email and call a number of people before I had my surgery. For some/most people, a support group and aftercare are crucial - if this is you, be sure that the program that you choose has all of the things that you need.

Learn as much as you can and lean on the support that you can find here. Be careful about other groups - some are very negative - this one is wonderful...

Good Luck and please remember that you deserve to be happy and healthy.