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Are You Telling People?



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my husband is the only one who knows I have had the surgery. My kids are too small. I prefer for people to not look at me differently or talk.

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Hi all,

I started this process in March and I do not want everyone knowing. In fact I just recently told my best friend only because she called me crying about feeling distant and like I was keeping something from her. I love the girl to death so now she knows. I have a new guy in my life as of June and I have not said a word to him, Im not even sure if I should especially since its not exclusive; I kinda dont think its any o fhis business right now. I just recently told my brother and his girlfriend simply because they only associate with each other. I can trust they wont go around blabbing this all around town.

I have not told my mother or grandmother none of my immediate family honestly, other than my brother.

My kids do not know (they are too young to understand)

I just recently told the few people around me (6 people) only because at this point they began asking why was I always running to the doctor or the hospital or why was i all of a sudden seeing a nutritionist.

I have no intentions on telling anyone else. and after the surgery when people I ask I will respond honestly and say. Im watching what I eat and have become more active. this will be true because with the surgery I will be doing just that watching what I eat and being sure to work out so I can get the best results from this surgery.

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I'm hesitant to tell people about my plans to have the surgery because of how my fiance reacted when I first discussed it with him. His opinion at the time was that weight loss surgery is a "cheat" for people who are too "lazy" to lose the weight "the right way". I know a lot of people share his views and during this process I really don't need the voices of negativity barking in my ear.

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Yesterday i told a co-worker about my journey for the WLS. I trust him very much and he is a life coach.

He kind of made a face and went through "you can do it through exercising etc" and I respected his opinion and he offered to lend me exercise equipment etc but he supports me

And it feels good to have people support you

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I am a "low BMI" bandster and I don't care who knows! I've told all of my family and friends. Most of them have been supportive but some have said "you aren't THAT big!" And my response to them is.....You carry around 60 extra pounds and then come tell me how you feel! I have fought this weight all my life and I can lose it but I suck at keeping it off and have torn my knee up in the process. My band is what is going to keep me from being 100 lbs overweight.

99% of the time spent with family and friends involves food. They needed to know why I'm not eating! Besides my hubby & cousin have had gastric bypass and a couple close friends are banded....I have a built in support group! :o

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wintobethin- Thats horrible. How can they be so jealous? Family is supposed to be supportive. Uhhh Sorry to hear that! Some people really just suck! :sad:

Day- thats really sad that your fiance isn't super supportive. He should be encouraging you to be the best you can be.. Its not the easy way out cause its still a lifestyle change, still need to watch what you eat and still need to exercise, it just makes the process more successful and long term, rather then the usual lose 10 gain 15 lose 25 gain 40. But yeah, lots of people probably have that idea as its easy... Screw them all I say! :P Take care of yourself how you feel would be best! :o

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Hi,

I hadn't told anyone other than DH but, a girlfriend saw reading material and asked, "I said not sure looking into it." Later, my sibling found more books at my house and said I hope you won't consider this surgery. This was 2 days before my surgery date. So, I said more than considering it. And, left it at that. After I had the procedure, I sent an email to all my siblings - 14 total. Telling them i'd had the procedure and that i didn't want any negativity. Either support or don't say anything. So, fast forward now 9 months later and I am 15 lbs from goal, I 've gotten nothing but support from siblings. I also told a couple of people at work. I now regret that because, people are always asking what have you done. And, I secretly feel that the couple of people I shared it with have told others. But, I usually will say, "Oh, I did a few things , I changed my diet, exercise more and a few more changes." Then, they'd say like what--I'd say some of this or that. End of conversation. LOL

Brigette

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wintobethin- Thats horrible. How can they be so jealous? Family is supposed to be supportive. Uhhh Sorry to hear that! Some people really just suck! :laugh:

Day- thats really sad that your fiance isn't super supportive. He should be encouraging you to be the best you can be.. Its not the easy way out cause its still a lifestyle change, still need to watch what you eat and still need to exercise, it just makes the process more successful and long term, rather then the usual lose 10 gain 15 lose 25 gain 40. But yeah, lots of people probably have that idea as its easy... Screw them all I say! :thumbup: Take care of yourself how you feel would be best! :biggrin:

Well since we've discussed it in full he's come around and become very supportive of my decision, especially since he sees now how much it means to me. He's still worried about some of the after effects and the idea of such a major surgery concerns him, but he tries to stay positive. I think if people who felt like he did in the beginning would just educate themselves on the subject they would realize just how wrong they are too!

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Going through process now and have only told my wife. I won't tell anyone else. Also doing P90x now and will continue a workout after surgery to aid weight loss. I have ran the idea passed a couple of close friends and they have VERY negative thoughts about it.

It's really no one else's business except my own. Just too much negativity out there, been dealing with it my entire life--so now I am ready to get rid of this weight without negativity from those around me. Except my wife is jealous, she thinks she is fat, but she is just fine. So she wants to get fatter to qualify for the surgery, silly girl!

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I am telling most ppl I know for 2 reasons. 1) they will wonder why I am only eating soft foods for almost a month and 2) because they will wonder why I stopped drinking alcohol. LOL

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I am going through the notions about telling people as well. I only told my parents, hubby and best friend, not even my siblings know. I figured that if everyone knew, they would be sitting around waiting to watch me lose weight. They wouldn't know what to expect. I have been dieting for two months and have lose about 15 lbs on my own, so that is my story and I am sticking to it. You cannot untell once you have told. Support is great, and there are tons of groups out there just for that. you are not alone....we all go through this...Good luck to you....NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS!!!!

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