Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Attracting women.



Recommended Posts

I'm not banded yet but my weight has fluctuated considerably through the years. I have noticed a significant correlation between my weight and my ability to attract women even though I have never truly been thin by most standards.

MY weight is currently around 290 although being very muscular I carry it well - so I'm told. But I'm not sure what your question has to do with anything.

Okay, so then we wear our weight very similar, then. I have also fluctuated, so I know what you mean. I was probably only skinny for one summer when I was a kid. haha. I was also banded at 291lbs and dropped 91lbs, by the way. I would consider that a pretty hefty loss.

Anyway, I asked because I have this sneaking suspicion that you think WAY too much about it. For the record, make no mistake that I agree that a guy's weight and his ability to get women are directly correlated; however, there are outside factors that are not being considered. Having said that, you have to factor in where the increased confidence comes from, whether it be due to significant weight loss, increased exercise or some combination of the two. Make no mistake, too, there were other girls before I met my fiance and I had little trouble getting them to like me. haha.

Going into this a little deeper, for a "study" to say that women can rate a man's confidence level is would make self-confidence an external trait, rather than an internal trait, therefore making it an unreliable study. For example, that's like me looking at every single post on this message board and deciding the average age of the normal poster on here, by asking everyone what they think the mean age is on here. Without proof from that person, who knows their age is. It's not empirically possible to figure out from an estimation.

All I'm saying is that you can have any MTV/VH1 dating course you want, which I saw on TV by the way, but that doesn't mean that it's going to work. lol. Trust me, if you did half of those things with girls who don't go to clubs and get wasted all of the time, you would never get a date because they ALSO watched that show and know what you're doing. lol. I have a few female friends who go to clubs and tell me about guys who do that and make asses of themselves. Just a fair warning. lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I apologise edub, it wasnt meant to be personal or insulting, merely making the oberservation that based only on this thread, I *could* form enough of an opinion to make all sorts of assumptions about who you are. That has nothing to do with your weight because I cant see you! No doubt, you *could* do the same about me.

For the record, I really do attempt to suspend assumption here, becuase you can easily misread what people or meaning or the tone in which they're saying it.

Surely you can see that in real life also what you say and do matters as much as how you look?.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sigh...

I really didn't want to get into a debate about the question. What I was hoping for is a few guys who have been down that road to weigh in on the issue.

Yes, one could always attribute their success to increased confidence and in some cases they may be correct. But, I'm sure there are guys like me who have confidence in spades but find it doesn't overcome the negative image of being fat.

See, I know all kinds of techniques for appearing confident that most people are not even aware of. The science of attraction goes way beyond the goofy stuff the amateurs in the VH1 series do. And no, I never use any of those corny bits. That is pure amateur stuff.

For instance, the way a man sits indicates his level of confidence. Open body language and a relaxed position are a couple - body language is a science in itself and it is powerful when used correctly. Confidence can be expressed vocal tonality, by proximity to others including other guys, in the way one touches someone and in the way one approaches. Politicians are trained in how to shake hands in such a manner as to appear confident and so am I. In fact, I have a special handshake I use specifically to give the impression of confidence.

All of these things (including confidence) are meant to give the guy the appearance of high social standing which women find attractive. This trips their attraction switches because a man with high social status is seen as more able to ensure the survival of the woman's offspring. Numerous studies have shown that a man's height is of the utmost importance in attracting women. Tall men are viewed as better protectors.

The problem with being over weight is that it has a strong negative social stigma. Fat guys are seldom the center of the "in crowd." The impression of a negative social status is incredibly unattractive to women - especially if the guy is short. So, it is more than just a visual thing.

See, guys are simple. We look for signs of health, youth and fertility. That is how our brains are wired. But that also includes a woman with good values in the end.

Women, are much more complex as explained above. But, in todays age of pressuring women to act like men, more and more women are imitating male sexuality and seeking "boy toys."

So sure, back in the day when all the fat guys were in the Chief's or the King's inner circle, that was seen as attractive. (Actually, heavier women were seen as more attractive back then too.) But today, being fat means you are an outcast and that is unacceptable for women who have a great deal of options.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, let me get this straight........

You are short, fat, and can't be the "Boy Toy" you would like to be? Ahhhh, I'm just razzing ya :)

I think you are thinking too much about it. You'll get the band, attract women and the world will be right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, let me get this straight........

You are short, fat, and can't be the "Boy Toy" you would like to be? Ahhhh, I'm just razzing ya :)

I think you are thinking too much about it. You'll get the band, attract women and the world will be right.

LOL. I doubt it will make the world right but it might make it a little more fun.

Anyway, I reposted this in the men's room in a more appropriatly crude manner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sigh...

I really didn't want to get into a debate about the question. What I was hoping for is a few guys who have been down that road to weigh in on the issue.

Yes, one could always attribute their success to increased confidence and in some cases they may be correct. But, I'm sure there are guys like me who have confidence in spades but find it doesn't overcome the negative image of being fat.

See, I know all kinds of techniques for appearing confident that most people are not even aware of. The science of attraction goes way beyond the goofy stuff the amateurs in the VH1 series do. And no, I never use any of those corny bits. That is pure amateur stuff.

For instance, the way a man sits indicates his level of confidence. Open body language and a relaxed position are a couple - body language is a science in itself and it is powerful when used correctly. Confidence can be expressed vocal tonality, by proximity to others including other guys, in the way one touches someone and in the way one approaches. Politicians are trained in how to shake hands in such a manner as to appear confident and so am I. In fact, I have a special handshake I use specifically to give the impression of confidence.

All of these things (including confidence) are meant to give the guy the appearance of high social standing which women find attractive. This trips their attraction switches because a man with high social status is seen as more able to ensure the survival of the woman's offspring. Numerous studies have shown that a man's height is of the utmost importance in attracting women. Tall men are viewed as better protectors.

The problem with being over weight is that it has a strong negative social stigma. Fat guys are seldom the center of the "in crowd." The impression of a negative social status is incredibly unattractive to women - especially if the guy is short. So, it is more than just a visual thing.

See, guys are simple. We look for signs of health, youth and fertility. That is how our brains are wired. But that also includes a woman with good values in the end.

Women, are much more complex as explained above. But, in todays age of pressuring women to act like men, more and more women are imitating male sexuality and seeking "boy toys."

So sure, back in the day when all the fat guys were in the Chief's or the King's inner circle, that was seen as attractive. (Actually, heavier women were seen as more attractive back then too.) But today, being fat means you are an outcast and that is unacceptable for women who have a great deal of options.

"trips their attraction switches"

"todays age of pressuring women to act like men"

This might be the biggest bunch of BS I have ever heard, and I am a car salesman and I have heard a lot of BS in my time.

FYI--You cant "attact women" because you act like an egotistical, chauvinistic, pseudo-intellectual and that is not attractive at any weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"trips their attraction switches"

"todays age of pressuring women to act like men"

This might be the biggest bunch of BS I have ever heard, and I am a car salesman and I have heard a lot of BS in my time.

FYI--You cant "attact women" because you act like an egotistical, chauvinistic, pseudo-intellectual and that is not attractive at any weight.

LOL! All that huh? Let me guess - you must be an ardent Feminist, am I close? I know how much you guys hate that stuff. You don't have to shoot the messenger though.

And I can get lots of women - I just prefer ones that are drop dead gorgeous.:tt2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL! All that huh? Let me guess - you must be an ardent Feminist, am I close? I know how much you guys hate that stuff. You don't have to shoot the messenger though.

And I can get lots of women - I just prefer ones that are drop dead gorgeous.:tt2:

Ardent Feminist, no. Anti-BS, yes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have merged the two threads. One of these is more than enough.

I only ask that all posting please keep it civil. Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Closed per Original Poster request. Please see "Bedding Hotties" for reference.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f110/bedding-hotties-118441/

Again, just keep it civil, thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×