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Anyone thats ever had a traumatic event in their life can relate to what I'm about to say. I spent a lot of time in the counselors office talking about forgiveness. Forgiving your abuser and those who supported the abuse, either by denial or by complacency is more about healing you than giving that other person anything. I never once in this whole process ever thought about forgiving myself. I was watching a recent episode of Heavy and one of the counseling sessions was about forgiving yourself. There is so much guilt associated in childhood trauma, at least there was for me. I can honestly say that I have forgiven those involved, but I have never forgiven myself. Part of this journey for me is to work through the reasons I turn to food for comfort. Part of my realization is that I have not forgiven myself; I did not allow myself to break free from my abuse because of the guilt. I feel responsible for what happened, because I didn't speak up, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't make it stop. Why didn't I? Logic sets in and tells me it was because I was only 2,3,4,5,6,7 years old but my memories are processed through my mind, an adult's mind. I am mature enough to know it is wrong..now! But then? I remember saying " this is wrong" and him saying " why?" and I couldn't answer him because I didn't know. How could I not have known? These are the things I am working through...it's not a sob story, so don't feel bad for me. It's just my reality, one that I've lived with my whole life. I'm working through it now. I have no choice because I can't consume large amounts of food anymore to avoid working through them ( thank god!) I'm just telling myself every day that I have the right to what everyone else has and that.... It was not my fault! It was not my fault! It was not my fault!

This is really my favorite of all the flavored hummus! When i get lazy I buy Sabra, they make the best Red roasted pepper Hummus. I eat it daily! Thanks for posting this

That's why they call it Furr-niture LOL

I didn't tell many people at all because I didnt want to deal with the negativity, so I just had my circle of friends and family would give me the support that I needed. well I am her to support you but I must say you are about to embark on a wonderful life style journey...good luck and i wish you nothing but the best..

glad you are doing better

Congratulations! It's awesome fun buying new clothes. I keep on doing it In fact, today I went to a clothes store at a shopping centre because I wanted a pair of three-quarter length pants for work (it's summer here in Australia). The shop was having a sale with a whole rack of clothes going out at just $3 each! So I picked up a pair of slacks, shorts, a lovely sun dress plus the three-quarter length pants I went in for.

I am very proud of you! You are taking back control and taking care of yourself!! We are all here to help.listen and never judge because none of us are perfect. Have a great New Years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You deserve it. We all do.

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!

I am 16 days post op today. I have a non-scale victory to report. About eight months ago I took off the diamond ring my husband bought me for anniversary last year because it was cutting off my circulation. Once I took it off I couldn't get it back on. I was able to slip it on last night and there it stays! I have totally embrace this journey from day one of my preop diet and I don't hope that I will be successful I know that I will be successful. I'm down 22.6 pounds.