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I hit a milestone today I am super excited about! I have finally lost 300 pounds! I have been stalled the past few months and finally lost those last 6 pounds to hit this milestone! I am so thankful to be making this journey. It still feels like a dream to me. It's crazy how I went from having to be on oxygen 24/7 and hardly being able to cross a room without getting out of breath to being able to walk for 6 miles and still be ready to go out and do other things! I am loving life right now and wanted to share my excitement at hitting this milestone with you!

Today I had an "ah-ha" moment. It took 4 years, but I think I get it! It was triggered by this before photo popping up in my facebook memories from 5 years ago, (coupled with my most recent post-op photo taken last week, down 120 pounds since surgery in 2013). (attached below) ....And then reading the following quote on a friend's post: "Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that isn't you so you can be who you were in the first place." I've struggled for years since losing the weight after surgery with questions of "is this the 'real' me, or am I just pretending and the 'real' 'fat' me will resurface sooner or later?" "Can people really change long-term?" It felt like the obese, sad, self-hating "me" was a monster waiting just below the surface to re-emerge. Give enough time and the right circumstances, the "real me" monster will rear it's head and I'll find myself back at nearly 300 pounds. Guys! I get it now! It's not about change. It's not about the "sticking power" of change. It's not about willpower or determination. It's not even about counting carbs, protein, calories, and ounces of water. Sure those are tools that help. But it's not about that. It's about doing the hard emotional work to figure out why I was hiding myself behind 150 excess pounds. It was about allowing myself to have a voice and using it. It was about demanding self-respect and respect from others. It was about leaving behind, painfully as it was in some cases, the toxic people in my life who emotionally damaged me. It was about processing the feelings that I didn't allow myself to feel for 18 years. Once I realized this, once I did this work, I could little by little shed the layers that hid who I was. I don't hate myself anymore. I'm not even angry at myself for letting myself get to be 300 pounds like I was when my journey started. I realize now that I was coping. I was doing the best I knew how to do at the time. I look at that person in the "before" picture below and I feel compassion because I know she did her best. I'm able now to let go the "fear" - and trust me, it's a literal fear - of that "real me" monster re-emerging from just below the surface. I can let it go because I realize, this is the real me. It was actually opposite. It was all the hiding I was doing under the emotional eating and the 150 excess pounds that was hiding the "real me." So I have to on some level disagree with those who say this is a process of change. Sure, you have to change your behavioral choices with food and exercise or none of this will work. But for me it was not "becoming a new person" or "changing" who I am as a person. For me it was about simply allowing myself to feel and allowing myself to return home to who I was before I was hurt and who the universe intends me to be. Feel free to check out my blog linked in my signature for more of my journey!

I can't believe it guys! I really can't! I am seriously crying tears of joy. When I started this process I was 540 pounds (I'm 5'10) and I wore a size 36/38. As a lot of you know I had my panniculectomy on June 5th and they removed 15 pounds of skin. Before my panniculectomy I wore a size 22 bottom and 14/16-18/20 top. I had bought smaller sized pants before my surgery because most of my pants were held up by my extra skin flap. Guys...I fit into a size EIGHTEEN!!! And I look super good!! I'm attaching some before and after pictures for you guys to enjoy! I can't believe this is real life! My stomach is flat!! (Please excuse my one drain in my one picture!)

Well BP FAM , I'm back again with a rant. My husband and I were talking last night and he made comments in how he wished I never had this surgery. He stated that my butt has gone almost away and he felt all unneeded to do was tone up and lose my belly initially. Well, first of all, I don't know how you tone up 242 lbs with BMI 0f 39( which was my initial weight and BMI). So.... he proceeded to run his mouth about all the things I can't do like drink gallons of sweet tea, eat cake and Cookies, go to restaurants and eat appetizer , entree and dessert.. You know all of the healthy stuff that led me to be 242 lbs in the first place. Well, I was really hurt by his comments. My rebuttal was how much healthier I am , I am a lose size 10 as opposed to a tight size 16, I am no longer out of breath with walking 20 feet and I am able to exercise. I like how my body has changed and I told him I love my size. Well, he said "you don't have to be attracted to you, I do and you only needed to lose a little belly but now your butt has gone down tremendously " well needless to say I was pushed to my breaking point. I was like if you don't like what you see, go and find you a thick chic with a donkey's ass. I'm not even at goal yet so I'm gonna lose more and just ticked that he would say that to me which made me feel a lil insecure about my looks. Then I snapped out of it. I have posted pics on my other forums but I will put my last one here as well. Not tooting my own horn but I worked hard for these results . I had surgery in Dec 2016. I am just like dang I can't win for losing .i really thought I was doing good . My pics show one week after surgery on left, middle is 1 1/2 months post op and last pic on right was about 2 weeks ago.

HW: 282 CW: 198 Goal: 160

50 all together counting pre op diet, my doc was shocked.. I am to yesterday was my birthday.. And my weight loss was my greatest gift!!.. I sent this pic to my mom she was so shocker my face has slimmed down alot!!/& I have a neck now lol happy Sent from my Z981 using BariatricPal mobile app

I am a little less than three months out and am down 40 lbs from my highest weight!! Only 100 to go! Left pic is at highest weight, right is last weekend. HW 285.8 SW 272.8 CW 246.4 GW 140 Sleeved 11/23

My heaviest weight was 370. In 2010 I had the band installed (such a mistake, waste of time, money and effort IMO) March 10th, 2018 at my Pre-Surgical check in I was 310. March 21st, 2018 at check in for surgery I was 294.4. I had the band removed and revised to the bypass. Today, January 23rd, 2019. 308 days after surgery... I hit a number that I haven't seen in more than 20 years Onederland. I'm down 95 lbs since surgery, 110.6 lbs from pre-surgical. And a staggering 170.6 lbs from my heaviest weight. I need to thank so many people that if I tried, I'd forget someone and then we'd start with the hard feelings. So I'll go with this. Thank you. If you've helped me through this in any way, shape, or form, Thank you.

First of all at 5'4 and 165 you won't be skinny or anything close to it. Everyone is so damn fat in America, people don't even know what legit skinny even looks like. Big boned is a myth, yeah some people might have slightly larger frames but big bones is BS. My bones are 3x denser than the average woman my age and they still barely weigh anything, and they look TINY on a DEXA scan. they are covered in fat and muscle. Big bone is just lie people tell themselves and others to justify obesity. Just because the weight is harder to lose or slower coming off doesn't mean you aren't meant to lose it or you can't lose it. You are barely one year out from surgery. It will probably take you another 6 months or so to lose the rest if you keep eating right. People need to think about their general health and wellness. The way insurance is going right now, those few extra pounds can cost you a lot in insurance premiums in the future. Everyone should be striving to get to a normal BMI at this point. And just because you are smaller doesn't mean you won't have curves. I have lost an entire grown man in weight and I still have enough titties for 3 broads and I have hips, thighs and a butt. Slim thick is really a thing. People need to stop kidding themselves. You will never be this young ever again in life. Go for your goal, go for it hard. It is never going to be this easy to lose weight ever again.