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Taking Those First Steps
 

Did You Realize?

Which band to go with? The Realize or LAP-Band? I'm sure I'll talk it over with the surgeon but it's definitely something to think about.   I had my big 4 hour appointment today with everyone under the sun. The dietician was super nice. We first did the informational session on life and diet post banding. I then saw the Internist/Endocrinologist for an hour. He was nice...reminded me of Rain Man but very thorough. After hearing my symptoms that I've dealt with my whole life, he wants to do one additional lab test (24 hour urine collection - yippee!) to test for a Phenochromocytoma (benign tumor in the adrenal gland)but decided I didn't need any furter pre-op testing. Whew! I then had the 1:1 with the dietician. Not surprisingly, my method of skipping meals then ravenously eating isn't the best. After that I had the 1 hour Physical Education class which was interesting but nothing I didn't already know but still, another check mark off my list of To-Do.   After my psych appointment March 27 then April 2, I'll be ready to schedule with the surgeon! Super excited. I start my pre-bariatric surgery diet tomorrow. No, not the scary 2-4 week skim milk diet, but the very low calorie, balanced, high-protein diet. They gave me basically a list of foods from 4 food groups to pick from for each meal, and two protein drinks as snacks between meals, and that's it! I do really well with a regime, and it's expected that I lose weight before seeing the surgeon, so it looks like my journey begins tomorrow!
jen_1381

jen_1381

1
phatkatblue's blog
 

5 Weeks Post Op-Feeling Fine! Oh And In The 2Teens!

well today makes five weeks for me and i still can't believe that i am on this journey:) i guess it became really real for me when i went back to work this week for the first time since having surgery and everyone seemed to notice my weight loss...i was very shocked by this and a little uncomfortable i must say. when i look in the mirror it all looks the same and i really think it is. i started this journey wanting to lose 80 pounds and i am only down 27 pounds---14 pounds since surgery...not a real huge difference...but they noticed...   i am happy this week because i am finally in the 2teens which was the first goal i set for myself! i am 219, but a 2teen none-the-less:) i have been alternating my eating with the pre-op diet this week because i felt that i was stuck, meaning that i hadn't lost weight in two weeks...so M-W-F of this week are pre-op diet type days for me...my next goal is to be in the single digit 2's and then under 200 of course! i don't have dates set to meet these goals...so no pressure...right?!   i have still been eating soft meats, cooked veggies, and soft fruits and don't feel any restriction. i actually heard my stomach growling today, but i didn't feel ravished with hunger. i am still focusing on the difference between head and physical hunger...i have caught myself eating when i'm not really hungry and feel horribly guilty...i did this yesterday and was really upset with myself for finishing a whole salad when i was full after eating half:/ overeating a salad...wow! my first fill will be coming up next friday and i am nervous and ready!   i am still managing some type of cardio exercise daily and my weight regimen every other day...i have been alternating walking on the treadmill and taking the dog for a walk. there have been quite a few times before i went back to work t hat i would do both. i walk at least 3 miles a day and my best day i walked a little over 8!!! that included a slow walk with the hubby, a walk with the dog, and getting on the treadmill...this weekend i began a mission to buy bikes for me and the hubby and have been on craigslist like crazy...well we hit the jackpot today and got brand new beach cruiser type bikes for a steal. they were in perfect condition and we went riding this evening for 45 minutes and i truly felt like a kid again! it has been over 18 years since i have been on a bike and while i was a little wobbly in the beginning it all came back to me and i was soaring through my neighborhood zipping and zooming down streets that Miles (my dog) and i normally walk! i am so proud of myself (pat-pat) because last summer i barely left the house...   life is getting greater and i am feeling fine!!   btw way hubby is 8 days post-op and doing wonderful! he walked three miles today and rode bikes with me for 45 minutes:)
phatkatblue

phatkatblue

7
sweetsoutherngirl's Blog
 

Five Weeks Post Op-Ready To Try Zumba Again

Before surgery I was a Zumba addict. I would go four times a week, five if I could find the time. I did try about three weeks ago and I was so exhausted afterwards. So tomorrow I am going in with a different game face on and Itry it again. I also am thinking about trying the "hot" ypga. Seems like it should be fun. I keep wondering how long it will be before I will get my stamina back. I honestly did not expect to have this much down time with my exercise.   NSV today- I pulled a pair of jeans out of the back of my closet that I have not been able to wear in almost ten years. LOL! Yes I kept a pair of jeans this long! It felt great to slide into them!
sweetsoutherngirl

sweetsoutherngirl

3
Magic Mini Mushroom
 

Almost Like I Was Banded!

Well, I finally did it! I finally lost an amount of weight in one week that didn't show up on the scale as 0.something or 1.something. This week, I lost 2.8 lbs!!! (Picture me doing a happy dance here. It involves sparkles. And trained poodles.)   This feels almost like I've got a lap band. It's hard sometimes to read about how fast other people are losing weight when I've been losing mostly a pound a week, if I'm lucky. 2.8 brings me real satisfaction. Even if it doesn't happen like this every week, getting a result like this at least every once in a while is like a shot of inspiration. I can take this and run with it. GO ME!!!
morelgirl

morelgirl

5
chriper's Blog
 

Potatoes Not Prozac!

So if you've read my last post I mentioned that I thought I had an addiction to sugar. Well I spoke with my weight loss therapist and she suggested I read the book Potatoes not Prozac! After getting about halfway through it, I knew it was right for me. Don't worry it follows the same eating plan as the band but it gives perspective to why we do the things we do and why even when we try all we can we don't lose weight. Check it out, I think you'll like it.
chriper

chriper

0
Ruth71's Blog
 

Here I Go Again

Greetings from Australia 9 Weeks ago i had my Lap band removed and in 12 Days will have Sleeve surgery. Started pre op diet and currently Weigh a hefty 111 kg. My lowest after lapband was 79kg then all went wrong. So Here is go again..... i will never give up till i get this right. I look forward to chatting to fellow members about there experiences
Ruth71

Ruth71

1
shues138's Journal
 

A Way Better Day!

So enough crying and whining yesterday--today was a new day and I think I did alright! I had some scrambed eggs, a hash brown and also got some pink grapefruit that I couldn't eat. I think tomorrow I'll cut out the hash brown, it was a little gross. Had my kashi cereal for lunch and I just discovered these AWESOME chips that if I can find them in single serving size at the grocery store I'm going to pick up, because 75 cents a pop at the vending machine is a little expensive. They are from Herr's and they are "popped chips" they are good, but I could probably have way more than one!   Last night my friend and I went to a "total conditioning" class. I did alright, kept up with the instructor and did my first pushup EVER! I was so proud of myself! I did more than one pushup obviously but I was just in shock with myself! The part I couldn't do were the "planks" those are tough, but I'm going to keep up with it, and try to do it. I have to call tomorrow to pay for the rest of the classes I'm kind of sad that I'm going to miss the class next week. Also the girl I went with I convinced her to go to Zumba with me on Thursday nights after I get back from vacation. So, with everything being said and done, that's 5 nights a week of excercise!   Tonight I'm going to go to the track and re-start week 4 of c25k since I missed Monday due to the migraine. Thursday I'll do another c25k train and then Saturday when I get down to Florida. The dbf is going to come over tonight to hang out and relax since we won't be doing much of that Friday!   Have a good day everyone!
shues138

shues138

0
carlamcgrath's Blog
 

One Week Out

I want to thank the people who commented on my last blog. Yes, I admit I have a food addiction. How do I know, well I dream of food and lots of it. Then I wake up and realize I cant eat any of it and it fills me with sadness. I dreamed last night that if I would have known you couldn't eat I might not have gotten the band. But then in my dream I said no, I would still get it. Those of us who are on the post phase of the band (short lived I do hope) are mourning our one true love. FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I have come to the realization that I never really tasted food. Not really enjoyed it. Ok you say "Oh Carla you enjoyed your food". Yes but not in the way food was meant to be enjoyed. I am on the pour off the spoon stage and that can really limit your choices. But, I pureed vegatable soup and had 3oz of that then mixed in 1oz of fat free regular yogurt. It was actually quite tasty. I would have never done this before, but I was trying to get some protein in my meal.   Until I actually realized I wasn't eating enough(I know this has never happened before), I was starving to death. Not starving like you gotta have that cheeseburger, starving like my system felt like I was actually for the first time in its life starving.
carlamcgrath

carlamcgrath

0
Phat Diva on a Mission Blog
 

Ready, Get Set.....go!

Monday, March 19 was a very emotional day for me. Today was my first meeting with the surgeon. I was scared, nervous, shaking, stomach pains and sweating profusely. ( It was warm on Monday.) Luckily, the Ambulatory Surgical center had complimentary valet parking. It was a blessing in disguise. As I walked to the building my legs felt like cement beams with every step I took. I glanced at the directory but already knew the office was on the second floor. I was a little thrown off because there were signs for center, west and east elevators. After getting to the secod floor I learned the office was on the west side of the building. I was 30 mins early so I sat for a minute to collect myself and mop up some of the sweat from my brow. The chairs in the lobby were snug so I figured I would be much more comfortable waiting in the doctors office.   The girl at the desk was pleasant, Joan was sweet (Physicians Assistanct), Dr. Nusbaum was awesome and Denise was very informative in a matter of fact kind of way. Denise will be my point of contact because she handles the approval process with the insurance complany. Dr. Nusbaum calmed my fears and I feel completely safe in his hands. He explained the procedure and answered any questions I had. I didn't have many at the time but I'm keeping a journal of future questions to ask. I left the office feeling confident and ready to get my journey started. :wub:   I was surprised that I do not need to follow a pre-op diet. I was hoping I would get to experience how it would feel to consume only liquids. I guess I will have plenty of time to do so my first week. Dr Nusbaum said I will need to stay in the hospital overnight and then after a week I can return to work.   I have tons of tests and appointments with doctors for clearance. I've made all of my appointments and will have everything complete next week. Awesome!! Below is the list of things I have to do before my surgery can be approved by my insurance company. Letter of Medical Neccesity from my PCP
Letter from my Nutritionist
Pulmonology Consult
Cardiology Consult
Psych Evaluation
Bloodwork
Venous Doppler Lower Extremites Bilateral
Filter to prevent Blood Clots inserted
Trans-Nasal endoscopy
I figure I'm on track to get sleeved mid April!
phatdivabbw

phatdivabbw

6
ShapeShifter's Blog
 

This Is Dedicated To My Future

I have never before kept a blog or chosen a 'screen name', or for that matter, consistently kept a journal. As I begin this journey into a healthier future with Sleeve Gastrectomy, I have been strongly encouraged by a friend to put things in writing, seek support from an experienced community, and to offer support to others, as I do in my every-day world.   I am 43 years old, happily single, and 250 lbs. I am also an open book, or so I thought, with friends and family... always speaking my truth with kindness and compassion, to seek understanding and support, and to offer the same in return. I've read in several places (or viewed on vlogs) that some people have lost friends through this process, and aside from possible hair loss, that scared me the most. Craziness, I know. So, I have chosen to tell my friends about my research and my hope for changing my life and future. I have been surprised by my emotions as I enlighten those who have always seen me as a ray of sunshine, about the darkness I carry and have not shared. When they have not known my suffering, how could they understand my choice to expose myself to risk through surgery? So. What does my darkness look like? I'm sure many of us share some of these broken pieces...   When I was 12 and put on puberty pounds, I recall my mother saying to me: "You'd better be careful, or you'll be fat like your father." I cannot recall my weight or size at that age, but it was just the beginning. I thinned out in Jr. High as we walked to school every day, then gained again in High School. The words from my mother that I recall in the car one day were: "No man wants to marry a fat woman." I still don't remember numbers, but I'm pretty sure I never got above a size 12 or 14 in High School. I did Weight Watchers at age 18 and got into a size 10 pair of Coca-Cola jeans, which was a huge accomplishment. A friend showed me a photo from that time when we were in our 20's, and I realized that the girl in that photo absolutely believed that she was fat and ugly. In the first few years of my 20's I gained 20 lbs a year, and got up to a size 22 (all while trying and re-trying Weight Watchers, Jazzercise, etc.). I remember thinking about that picture, that I wished I could be that fat now.   In the last twenty years, I've been no lower than 220 and probably higher than 270 (there was a period when I didn't weigh myself every day, believe it or not) - between size 18 and 22. During that time, I realized that I loathed myself when I was a size 10, and that I had the choice to do the same at size 20... or I could decide to love myself exactly as I am. I worked with a therapist specializing in Harville Hendrix Imago Therapy, made a list of the negative words that played over and over in my head - realized that my mother did not intend to hurt me, and that in my late 30's I had to take responsibility for the voice... and so I reprogrammed. I chose never to say to myself something I would not say to another human being. If a negative word was uttered, even in my mind, I would have to replace it with something loving and kind. I was quite successful with my reprogramming of 2005. And after losing 38 lbs with Weight Watchers (again), I felt quite happy with my curves at size 18. I was triumphant! I wondered... how might my world have been different if my mom had said: You are perfect... exactly as you are? Another AHA moment was while watching "What the Bleep do we Know?" and seeing the water study. A Japanese scientist placed water from the same source into multiple bottles marked with different thoughts: I love you. Thank you. I hate you. I will kill you. Others were invited to view and read the bottles, then drops of that water were placed on a frozen slide and the positive thoughts were crystalline, like snowflakes, and the negative thoughts were discolored and sludge-like. The question was stated: "If our thoughts can do this to water... and we are 80% water... what are our thoughts doing to us?" WOW! That was life altering for me. I had been standing in front of a mirror for 25 years telling myself I was fat and ugly (talk about manifestation). I would be horrified if I knew a child I love was doing this to themselves.   I have not let my weight stop me from traveling, which is my passion... but much of my darkness is wrapped in the memories of sacred journeys. At around 100 lbs heavier than most of my friends, I have felt like a burden, as we climbed one mile from 6,000 ft to 7,000 ft in Colorado... and a friend acted as my sherpa, staying behind with me as we climbed and our other friends went ahead. When I reached the top and saw the water gushing from 'Spouting Rock', I lay upon a nearby boulder and sobbed... every step I took going up that mountain was not in triumph... but in heartbreaking shame. In 2008, I went by myself to Ireland. I had looked forward to Skellig Michael, where at the top of 620 steps, in the middle of the ocean, was a 6th century monastery with beehive huts. My friend even bought me a pair of leiki poles for the journey. When I was finally at the base of that rock... I looked up and decided I just couldn't do it. The tour guide came back for me and said: "Wasn't this your dream?" And so I did follow, and though he could have gone up and down those stairs as I struggled to get to the top, he stayed with me until another woman on the tour took over. I wouldn't have done it without the encouragement of others, and I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. And yet... every step I took was in shame. In 2010, I went to England and there were many magickal sites to see in Glastonbury and Cornwall. But this time, I was in my 40's... and I carried the same shame, but with a little more fear. In 2011, I went to Scotland... and though the hikes were not as steep, I was still the one left behind... I was 30 lbs heavier, so my body hurt in each bed, and I panted to get up the stairs, and my feet and ankles were severely swollen on the trip home.   In 2011, I went from 250 lbs to 267 in a matter of weeks. I had planned a return to Ireland, but decided I just couldn't do it at this age and at this weight, and so I cancelled my plans. It was about this time that a friend told me about Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. And, so... this is where my new story begins.   Wishing you love, light, and laughter on your own journey to wellness, ShapeShifter
ShapeShifter

ShapeShifter

1
kdp's Blog
 

Seminar/doctors Appt

Well I went to the free seminar regarding all the different surgeries that are out there. I know that I am not the person to have a bypass surgery.....that one scares me and is just not for me. I have decided that I want to have the lap band surgery done. The seminar was a huge help in making me understand better and not be so scared about having the procedure done. I have my doctors appt set up for April 6th and I have to go in and have some test run before hand. I was really happy regarding the dietician that I will have to go see. I think that will be a big help. If anyone has any suggestions regarding questions I should have for the doctor, please let me know and things to ask or pay attention to when it comes to the dietician. I am ready to get started with the new journey. I have started walking in the evenings with my husband. Not very far but I figure something is better than nothing. My husband is really excited about me doing this. I just hope that he will be a help with the life change I am fixing to start. He went to the seminar with me and asked questions. He has been my best friend for over 25 years and I have always told him that I need help with this weight issue I have. We will see.....   I do have a question....what should I be prepared for regarding the liquid diet I will have to be on in the beginning?
kdp

kdp

1
legnarevocrednu's Blog
 

4 Months-60 Pounds=Onederland!

I have to say, I am simply amazed by this journey thus far! I wanted to post my story (in a condensed version) for those of you who are thinking about getting this procedure or have just begun your journey. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I just ate what I wanted, and enjoyed it very much. I had little to no concern about my health. I remember in middle school, I would sit in my bedroom closet just eating a can of icing. How disturbing is that?! I finally started thinking about WLS about a year ago. My highest weight was 259 LBS. Although I didn't have any health issues, I had began to miss my monthly visitor (sorry for the TMI). This really concerned me because I desperately want children in my future and I knew that the direction I was going in would make that difficult. I went to meet with a surgeon, and got the ball rolling! My insurance required that I meet with a nutrionist for 6 months before surgery. Those 6 months just FLEW by! However, I had not originally planned on getting the Lapband. My heart was set on getting the Vertical Sleeve. A week before surgery, my Insurance Cordinator gave me a call saying that my insurance will not cover that surgery as I needed to have a BMI of 50. I was really far off. However, I COULD get the Lapband. So after crying my eyes out all day, I decided that this is how it was supposed to be and I agreed to get the Lapband. It was the best decision of my life! I stayed one night in the hospital. It was my first surgery ever, and was relatively easy. The only difficult part was that I felt more comfortable resting in a chair than I did in the bed. I did not sleep much that night. Also, the first time they got me up to walk, I thought I was going to throw up and/or pass out. It got better. Today, it is exactly 4 months since my surgery, which I got on November 21st 2011. Today, I am exactly 60 pounds lighter. Today, I am FINALLY in Onderland (199 pounds)!! It has been simply amazing! I have had 2 fills. My doctor decided to hold off on another one due to the amount of weight I have lost. My weight loss has slowed down a bit, but I am still losing about 2 pounds a week. I will probably ask for another fill when I see him next month. I know everyone says this, but the band really is a tool that YOU have to use. I believe you have to want to put some effort into this before even getting the surgery or it won't work for you. Your mind has to be in the right spot. You have to WANT to change. You have to be willing to give up some of the foods you love or at least only have them on a very rare occasion. You have to be willing to work out. I guess its possible to lose weight without working out, but you will lose more slowly and you may end up looking disproportionate. Thanks to the band, better choices, and the gym, I have lost 60 pounds. I never thought I would be here. I love to work out as it makes me feel so much better and I have so much more energy. I also do the Couch to 5K Program. I strongly suggest this program to anyone and everyone! Although I am only in the 4th week (9 weeks total) I am seeing an improvement. My thighs are smaller, I have lost inches, and I am more fit! Since my surgery, I have also lost 2 inches on my neck, 7 inches on my waist, and 6 inches on my hips. Oh, I also use myfitnesspal like a fanatic! Feel free to add me on there. My username is legnarevocrednu. Also, feel free to message me on here if you have any questions. Good luck to all of you on your journey! I still have about 54 pounds to lose, but I'm glad that I could finally post my story as a success!!
legnarevocrednu

legnarevocrednu

5
Phoenix Rising's Blog
 

It Finally Happened.

It really has happened, I can hardly believe it myself. I went into hospital on Monday 19th March and they allowed me home on Tuesday 20th March. They also sent me home with a ton of medication.I am truly thankful that my husband is here to help me make sense of it all. He has already made me a wipe board with my medications and times to take them on. He is so supportive I couldn't manage without him.   Anyway, the operation went very well, I didn't need a drain thank goodness, everything looks good and my incisions were covered in a glue that holds everything together. They are beginning to heal well because they have started to itch. I am leaving them well alone. I am able to drink albeit slowly and steadily. I am also able to swallow all my pills even the large ones. (they are not comfortable but are doable) I have been both ends (if you know what I mean) so that is all working just fine. In fact, apart from the fact I feel as though I was kicked by an elephant I am just fantastic.   Although I was on a morphine drip the first day I stopped using it at two in the morning as I really didn't need it. I have been incredibly lucky. I haven't really had what I would call pain. I have been uncomfortable but I expected that as a minimum. I am sure that I was able to cope so well was because of everything I have read on this forum. Thank you everyone here, you made this so much easier for me and I am truly greatful. :wub:   I am drinking but not sure how much yet. I have been told different amounts by different doctors (!!***!!) But, I think the minimum I should have would be 1 and a half pints of liquid and if I can do 4 pints that would be amazing. At the moment I am on track for the 1 and a half pints, but who knows I may get better at it sooner than I expect. I will try and keep everyone informed on how I am doing as my head gets a little clearer and I have a little more energy.
Phoenix Rising

Phoenix Rising

6
newlife4nekaylyn's Blog
 

Obsessed To Controlled

Ok as everyone knows and as i have said before i have had an obession with food my whole life. Starting from when i was about four years old. I think that is when it started. I remember sitting in the living room watching my cartoons while my mom worked in her office in our home. I ran in and ask may i please have a snack. My mother told me no you may not. I was hungry and not fully understanding the reason why i couldn't have one of my favorite snacks (a hot dog with cheese no bread) i went in to the kitchen and i took it any ways. I took my stolen snack back to the living room and ate it as fast as i could before i herd the calculator machine stop. That would have been where the problem seem to come from, being told no when i was really hungry. Back the i didn't know what fat was or what over weight was, i was a healthy little girl but again with big bones and i wasn't fat! I remember many times eating dinner and not eating everything on my plate and getting in trouble and then later when i would be hungry being told no that i couldn't have something because i didn't clean my plate. I was always told to clean my plate and then i could have something. Well when a child doesn't make his/her own plate its a little hard to say you have to eat everything when the child gave it a good run. But a child's stomach can only hold so much at a time. My mom would always make dinner or order it in, sit me down in the living room with a small child sized TV tray and load a plate not really load but give me small portions and give me about three cups of juice, milk, and water. I was told i had to eat and drink everything. Thinking about all this now i can understand why i really didn't eat everything on my plate most times i would just drink to much and not be hungry. I don't want to blame my mom for this but then again she was part of the cause for my food obsession. I am not saying that i was a miss treated child no i had everything a kid could ever want and i didn't want for anything. My mom was obsessed with body image and the way that she looked and the way that i looked. Being a mother now myself i can kind of understand somethings that she did, but i will never be able to understand why she did some of the things that she did to me. Here is why i want to talk about this because i have wrote briefly about this but never really told any one but my husband my obsession with food. Its not that i just love the taste of food and its not that i love the smell or different foods its that i have a problem with food. The best that i can tell any one is that i have had eating disorders and an unhealthy obsession with food. Life with food wasn't a good life for me I realized early on that if i could sneak food then i wouldn't have to ask for it therefore i wouldn't have to be told no and i wouldn't have to be hungry. I was told no and could deal with it i wasn't a spoiled kid i knew the word no and i didn't through fits but for me being told no to food was just being mean. I never question why i was told no because that's just the way life was i was told no and i was never to question it. And i really didn't. I guess the next time i remember a problem involving food was when i was about six years old, My mom put me in every dance class possible and i loved basketball i wanted to be a dancer and play basketball when i got older i remember telling my grandmother. But my mom told me that there are no fat dancers. I didn't understand but one night at dinner she told me i couldn't have any more food because i wanted to be a dancer. It was a little like she was using my dreams against me. I didn't really care because after that i learned if i went and ate with my grandma every night then she would let me have seconds on anything that i wanted. When i was five we moved from Bedford Texas to ranger Texas because my mom wanted to sale ostriches and live on our family ranch. She moved my grandma and grandpa out there to so we lived in a little house and down the road a bit they had a house. It got to the point that i stayed at my grandmas all the time because her house was warm and because i loved her and wanted to be around her all the time. When i was six she started teaching me little things to cook, she told me what to put in and how much and how to measure things and all that fun stuff. By the age of eight i could make my favorite meal all by my self. She called it stuffed weenies, you take a weenie and cut it open and fill it with mustered and mashed potatoes and then add cheese on the top. My mom had a fight with my grandma about how much she was letting me eat all the time and that i was getting fat. I wasn't meant to hear that conversation but i did and it hurt my feelings. I didn't stay in all the time I loved to go outside and play and i did all the time. I remember my grandpa would pick me up from school and take me to his house and my grandma would let me have whatever i wanted as an after school snack and i would watch my cartoons and do my home work and go outside and play. If i was eating an my mom was about to come in my grandpa would either come and tell me or he would hit the floor really hard with his cane so i would know to put away whatever i was eating. sometimes i would get caught with my food and i would be in trouble and my mom would tell me that i had to go home. I never wanted to leave my grandmas house it was my safe house to do what i wanted. When i would go home i usually had to heat up my own dinner and do my home work which wasn't fun with my mom she had very little patience's for my lack of math skills or that i had a hard time reading. Pulse i was always hungry when i would go to sleep. When i got to be about 14 we moved into a new home still on the ranch and still not very far from my grandma. My grandma and grandpa where both getting older and my grandma had Alzheimer and my grandpa had gone blind in both eyes. i didn't have a food outlet and my grandma kept me all that summer and bought me whatever i wanted and all the sodas i could drink which i said before with my mom wasn't allowed. I had gained weight and my mom only came down on me harder. I still wasn't fat but she didnt see that. She and my dad would ask me do you really need to eat that? They would cook spaghetti and i wasn't supposed to eat it i still don't know what i was supposed to eat but every time i would take a bite they would watch me to the point of i just didn't want to eat any more. I had stopped eating for two weeks and my mom thought it was a good thing. I stopped because she told me that cheerleaders where not fat. And i was trying out but didn't make it and i was told if i had lost more weight then i could have made it. I never tried out again for fear that my life with food would be a bigger hell then it already was. I weight a good 100lbs at the age of 14 and gained about thirty pound that year because of all the weight lifting i was doing and at the end of the year i weighted 130lbs but again i wasn't fat i was big boned and had lots of muscles all the way up until i was 16 i weight the same. I had a rundown of diet pills to take every day and shakes that i was supposed to drink. When i was 16 i was sick of being told i couldn't have this and i couldn't drink that so sick to the point that i stopped eating for about four weeks i found that I could drink soda and stay fool. i lost weight and started weighting about 120 my mom said that i should keep doing what i was doing. I was sick of her and started to just not like her and not want to be around her. I also started to binge eat i would eat and eat until i threw up. My mom and dad where gone most of my sophomore year and left me 300$ for gas food and all the stuff that i might need pulse my lunch money for school. Instead of going out like most kids my age would have done i would stay at home and eat. I would cook rice and mac and cheese and all the things that i couldn't have normally. I would eat so much i couldn't even sleep at night and i would wake up at night just to eat more. On the weekends i would stay at home and lock all the doors and eat. That's when i thought maybe i have a problem. i would wake up at night when my mom and dad where sleeping and sneak food out of the fridge and hoped that no one found out in the mornings. I had lots of basketball games and came home real late at night and there wouldn't be any food from dinner for me that was my moms way of saying i was getting fat and didn't need to eat. That only seem to add to my problem i would get home from a basketball game or any after school things and go to a fast food place and get all kinds of food and eat all the way home. I wasnt fat i worked out like crazy then. That was my life until i went to college and found out that if i wanted it i could have it. Again by the time i realized i was over weight i was a good 240lbs. My mom would talk to my friends and ask them if i was drinking cokes, when she came to where i was living she would see a coke can and tell me "this is why you are as big as a barn" she would tell all my friends that i was as big as a barn and just be cruel and mean. That didn't want to make me loose weight that only add to my problem. I got to a point of food was the only think that i could count on all the time. It was always there and it seem to always make me feel better. My dad has a conversation with me about my weight right after a horrible relationship, he told me that no man will ever want me because i was so fat. i was 240 and while i know that isn't the ideal weight i was still a person and things like that still hurt me. I went to the kitchen that night and just ate and ate and ate. i was on a roller coaster for the worst. I didn't think i would ever have anyone to love me because of that conversation right there. When i met my husband i was about 250 or more i didn't believe that he wanted to marry me or even that he loved me. by the time we got married i was about 265 or 275. But she said that he loved me no matter what. we got married and by last summer i was a good 285lbs. At that time my mom informed me that my husband was going to leave me if i didn't loose weight. that made me eat more and more i hated her i hated me and i hated my husband who said he would always love me and that i shouldn't listen to any one. I cant say that i love food in fact i hate food but obsessed yes. I am my husband told me that when we would sit down for dinner before i would eat about three plateful of food and it wasn't because i was hungry its because i could. I talked to a consular about my surgery. He asked me how i felt about food i said i hate it but its like im obsessed and that all that i can think about and i cant make myself stop on my own i need help. I needed the help to see that food didn't control me that i could control what i wanted and what i didn't. I needed more then anything to know that i was in control again. And without lap band and my Doctor i would have never been possible for me to get over the control that food had on me. Some times i still have the want to to just go and eat and eat but i don't have to and i have the control not to. So yes i am still obsessed with food but it doesn't have control over me any more. Being an overweight mom was hard for me and i was doing wrong with my kids and i can see that now. I would let then eat 24/7 whatever they wanted any time they wanted and that was wrong of me. They would eat all the time. I could see my own son start to get a big belly and sometimes throw up from eating way to much. I realized that kids shouldn't have to clean there plate that if they are full they should stop eating. Since i had surgery and lost weight i give smaller portions to my family and they are getting healthy along with me. Something else good did come from my surgery my family is healthy and all at healthy weights for there ages now. I let them have snacks like pizza rolls and stuff but i don't let them eat all day long i ask them are you hungry or are you board? Usually the answer is just board mom so i give them a game to play out side or hand them a basketball and tell them to go play. They are not starving and they are healthy and happy and they will never have to sneak food from our house all they have to do is get what they want.
newlife4nekaylyn

newlife4nekaylyn

2
ChaChaBurch's Blog
 

Just 24 Hours To Go

I can't believe I'm just 24 hours away from my surgery! I've lost 8.2lbs on the pre-op liquid diet. Yesterday I had a few hours there where I almost gave in and ate something more than liquids.But I pushed through it. I haven't gotten nervous or scared yet, just still excited. I have had a moment or 2 (very short moments), where I thought that maybe I shouldn't do this, but then they too passed.   I've enjoyed meeting new folks on this website, and the amount of information and support is staggering!   Don't know how I'll spend this day, but DH took vacation and is home today, and won't be going back to work until Monday. He's such a great guy! Taking time off to help me recoup. Guess I'll get all the laundry done since it will be a while before I can do that again
ChaChaBurch

ChaChaBurch

2
desertmom's Blog
 

Easy To Get Too Much Calories

Now I read all these posts of women saying:"o,its so hard to get in enough calories" and I want to laugh my head off!!!!!!   It is the easiest thing in the world to get too much calories in one's quest to get enough proteins.   So you drink 2 protein powders and they are 360 calories.Then you have 1 cup of milk at 100 cals.Another cup of veg beef soup at 220 cals and look where you are already.I read of people keeping around 600 cals in liquid phase and it freaks me out as I am already over that.   I dont have a problem drinking anything.When the dr says 6 half cups of liquid something during the day as food,do you now wait 30 min before and after or do you not?then,like with me not being able to drink water,I have to drink tea and all kinds of stuff to get the fluid in.   I AM SO SCARED I WILL FAIL AT THIS.   I cannot wait to feel a little more like a human so I can just stop thinking about all this ALL THE TIME.   I really like things that are more of an exact sience...with this I just dont know what ia going on from one day to the next.
desertmom

desertmom

1
tony179@aol.com's Blog
 

From: Operation Skinny Jeans

Back in 2009 my medical Dr, told me while i weighed 350lbs. that i need to do something about my weight before i hit 50 yrs old, which at the time i was 46 yrs old and on BP Meds. So i was like yeah,yeah ,yeah. On July 3, 2010 i participated in a health research and was weighing 395lbs. Then moving forward to the early 2011 weighing 410lbs. and now had a new female Dr. for a while now. She had me do blood work-up which showed elevated cholesterol and sugar level rising. So my Dr. starts to mention about bariatric surgery to lose weight. So now I'm looking at my Dr. who looked like she weighed 350lbs herself(keep reading it get interesting). So I'm not convinced by what she was talking about, but agreed to attend a bariatric seminar at Jacobi Hospital. The same day i met with a nutritionist who impressed me and gave me a meal plan. As soon as i got home that meal plan went into the night stand somewhere.So i attend the seminar and walked away displeased by the noisy people in the audience and a post-op pt. talking about his ordeal while holding up his old trousers he wore prior to his surgery.(keep reading trust me). At the seminar i get an appointment for the bariatric clinic which i didn't bother going to. So now summer 2011 comes around and i balloon up to 442lbs, 90 degree weather outside and i'm wearing long pants because I'm embarrassed by my swollen legs. I make an appt. with my Medical Dr. and when i arrived at her office I WAS LIKE WHAAAAAAAAT. My Dr. had shed like 100 lbs and i was like WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY REGULAR DR. So she proceeds to tell that she had a Gastric Sleeve operation was the reason she had slimmed down. So i confess to her that i didn't attend the bariatric appt. So she gives me another meeting date for a seminar, i attend and receive my appt for Oct,2011. I attend the appt and weighed 331lbs. I receive a list of appts for various specialties which took from Oct 2011 thru Jan 2012. One of the Appts was for Sleep Apnea which i wind up having and get put on a sleeping machine call CPAP. Now i go back to my Medical Dr. who now looks like she lost 150lbs and i was amazed and went home that day and began exercising. So finally after completing a whole battery of test i receive my surgery date for March 1st. So i had to request a Leave from work for 6 weeks which was approved based on the Dr. notes i submitted from the Bariatric Dept. So the day before the surgery i go to finance Dept at Jacobi and was devastated when i was told that My insurance didn't approve my surgery because some nutritional notes were missing. I went home and began to lose hope and felt that the last few months were all in vain. So my wife and daughters begin to tell me not to lose hope and have faith. The very next day i receive a call from Jacobi and I recognized the voice as the Bariatric nurse Lynn who tells me how she is fighting with the insurance company and filed an appeal. This call does little to cheer me up but my wife does not want me to think like that. So on March 2 i get a call from Jacobi stating that i have been approved for surgery and if i wanted to come in on March 5th, and i was like WHAT TIME YOU NEED ME TO BE THERE. So March 5 comes around and i have my Gastric Sleeve surgery and i awake in a PACU ward and staff telling me all went well with the surgery. I then receive instruction on using a Morphine drip and feel a pain below my chest above the stomach which i was eventually told that is the area where a alot of cutting takes place. I also had a dry feeling sensation in my lips and kept requesting for ointment to be put on my lips. So my family and co workers begin to come into the hospital ward to see me, so i'm smiling when i see them but inside my mind is starting to ponder was this the wrong decision i made to have this surgery. March 7 i get discharged from hospital with a meal plan for the next 10 weeks and a load of prescriptions to fill plus vitamins and protein shakes i have to get. So prior to leaving the hospital i weigh myself and i was 415lbs. So the first two weeks go by and I'm on a liquid diet and I'm doing walks in the streets and parks.My wife and daughters start telling me that I'm trimming down' in my eyes i do not see it but I'm noticing that i'm not getting back aches and don't feel that heaviness that i felt with 442 lbs of weight on me. I go into my closet and i tried on a suit jacket i brought 12 years ago for my best friend's wedding and was able fit into it and that's when it hit me and i thought about the guy (remember earlier in my story) who held up his trouser at the seminar and now realized what that meant to him at that time and his accomplishment. Week 3 just started this Monday March 19 and i'm onto pureed food.So today March 20 i attended my first post-op appointment and my weigh was down to 386lb. I was elated that i began to text my family and close friends of my accomplishment. Although i'm just 3 weeks into my Post surgery i continue to follow the meal plans, drink my fluids, drinks my protein shakes and read on line anything i can find on the subject of nutrition and pass on tips to my friends struggling to lose weight. So far i have lost 56 lbs since Oct 2011, and 29 lbs. of that in 2 weeks since my surgery. My brother has also been an inspiration to me as well because he's trying to run 50 marathons by the time he's 50 years old. I now sit back and think of that Dr. who told me in the beginning of my story to get my act together before you hit 50yrs old because it get harder to do then. So Dr. i was listening all along.     Source: Operation Skinny Jeans
tony179@aol.com

tony179@aol.com

6
This is it!
 

Nagging Doubts

Day 50: "Still Fat"   It's been a while since I've posted because most days were starting to look alike and it seemed a bore to write about. I'm doing well, not great. March has been a slow month for me. Everything was clicking along really well in February, losing an average of a pound every two days. It really felt good to see the changes in my body. I was on a real streak with my exercise, bumping walks from 45 minutes to an hour to an hour and 15 minutes. I was trying out different gyms to see which one to join, loving the strength my body had to go the distance.   But then I got hemorrhoids. Not just your run of the mill stuff, but the really painful stuff that made everything come to a halt. I hadn't been constipated, and I'm still convinced it was the stupid seat on the gym bicycle -- the hard, plastic piece of crap. Was fine that morning, but all wrong that night. I immediately spent 2-3 days mostly lying in bed, getting up for short spurts to make food, shower and a few other things. The weight loss nearly came to a halt. I found myself very depressed and upset that I was knocked down from my streak. A week went by, no change. Then I go see my gynecologist who's been monitoring the horrific pain I had been getting every month with menstruation. Turns out the last ultrasound showed another fairly large cyst, hemorrhagic, just above 4cm. I'd had these before, landing me in the emergency room with how painful it can be when they twist or rupture. To treat it, she decided to put me on oral contraceptive even though I've shown in the past I can't tolerate it. Sure enough, it was one of the worst weeks of my life. I would not get out of bed until 10am and force breakfast down. The nausea was absolutely unbearable. Then I'd lie in bed, both for the hemorrhoids to heal more and because I didn't see the point in getting up. I'd cry a few times out of sadness, then make my way to the shower sometime in the afternoon. I was picking fights with my husband for no reason, unable to sleep through the night without waking up wanting to cry. I barely ate, watching my protein and calorie goals go unmet. Thankfully, I was able to see my gynecologist about a week later and she immediately stopped the pill listening to my symptoms. Meanwhile, I had barely lost 5 pounds in the first 16 days of March - such a disappointment.   Now I have to get vaginal ultrasounds every two weeks to see if the cyst goes away on its own, or needs surgery. Ugh, the thought of another surgery just makes me shiver. On top of that, I may have endometriosis. It can't be diagnosed without going in laparoscopically. But it means potential fertility problems down the line. Something my husband and I were very much hoping to try for in a year or more after my weight loss.   Then comes in my two orthopedists. Yes, two. I have one for my right knee and one for my left knee. Complicated story. I'm getting joint fluid injections in the right knee, and can't go walking or stand for very long in the 48 hours after the injections (a series of five over five weeks). So, more time not exercising! They confirmed that I can't do squats or anything that involves bending the knee past my toes, elliptical is out of the question since it makes my knees hurt within just a few minutes of using. I have maltracking patella with hyperflexibility which basically means the cartilage behind my kneecaps is rubbing on bone and disintegrating. It's very painful and limiting.   My best option for exercise is swimming. But my bathing suit no longer fits and I have to have mine custom made in the mid-west. It costs me about $180 per suit and they aren't made for real swimming. The chlorine in pools kills the material. Plus, they take about two weeks to make and ship. I have such an odd chest size (34/36I) and I'm only 5'2" so the option of just ordering online or walking into a store does not happen for me. Then I'd have to join a gym with a pool, and get lap swim lessons since I've never really learned. That's about another $60 per month/$75 per lesson. Did I mention I'm unemployed right now and that kind of money is all tied up in the credit card that paid for my surgery and all these medical bills?   So, yes. This is a rant. I've had a crappy month of crappy realizations about my situation. It seems every corner I turn is giving me a new obstacle and I'm getting really tired of it. I'm losing my momentum and wondering if I did the right thing. It's amazing to me that I can eat less than 600 calories a day and still not lose weight! I was afraid of just this scenario and here it is. I'm drinking fluids to the point I pee 7-8 times per day. I'm getting in my protein, following the guidelines all the time (since stopping the pill). And yet, still only 6 pounds down in 20 days.   I hope this is just a stall, due to all that's been going on in my life. Now that things are on the mend, I hope this stall will break. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow and I'm scared. He's an excellent surgeon, but has no personality whatsoever. He's a hardass and I'm sure he'll see my lack of a good loss as a failure and will accuse me of cheating. I really don't want to see him, don't want to hear another person disappointed in me. I'm already pretty sick of myself right now.   The nagging voices are taking over my life. I'm really having a hard time wondering why I did what I did. I know 40lbs is a lot to lose, but why can't I be proud of that? Why is it not enough?
AliveAgain

AliveAgain

5
Glenda045's Blog
 

I Thought I Already Knew....

Well, It has been a few weeks since I've blogged.... I guess I should use this blog session as a confessional. Got my third adjustment in January wherein I achieved great restriction. That's what I was waiting on....the kind of restriction that stop me from eating. WRONG!! The band doesn't make me stop...I have fought it. I found a way around it....I haven't been following rules as I should. It is totally my fault that I haven't had more than 3lb weight loss in one month.   All I thought about was good restriction before I got it....after I got it I found a way to fight it. My doctor said my meals should never be longer than 20 min. I eat sometimes for 40 min. I thought I knew how to stop after 20 min. I had practiced it for 6 months prior to my surgery (Sept. 2011).   I seen my surgeon today and he said those horrifying words that I already know deep down "YOU ARE A FOOD ADDICT and you have to change your mind-set so you can change your behavior". I know its true. But, at this point, I really don't know how to let the band work for me, instead I am finding myself fighting the one thing that can help against my addiction.   Although frustrated and aggravated, I refuse to give up. I will keep trying. I have 6 weeks before my next appointment and I am determined to have at least a 6-8 lb. weight loss. I just gotta figure this thing out. I thought I already I knew....
Glenda045

Glenda045

4

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