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Magic Mini Mushroom

A blog by morelgirl in General

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    35

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About this blog

Morelgirl's Lap Band Life

Entries in this blog

Boy, I needed that

I had a difficult weekend. I've been stressing over a work deadline for the last week or two, but things are really coming to a head. In fact, I'm beginning to hear that whooshing sound a deadline makes as it goes shooting by me. It won't be the end of the world, as it's mainly a self imposed date, but I'm still frustrated with myself that I haven't been able to make it, so the stress is building. In the past, stress for me has always equalled overeating, so my head hunger has just been rising a

I Am a Duck

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.   Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depend

Good Food is a Good Thing

One of the best parts of getting back on track and living like a compliant bandster is the amazing food I get to eat. Nope, not kidding. I happen to be a pretty darned good cook. The problem is that when I'm not living right with my band, I get lazy. Cooking for one person half the time just doesn't seem "worth it," as if I'm not worth taking care of as much as the other people I cook for. That leads to take out, dining out, fast food, convenience foods, and processed foods. And that leads to we

Reality Check

I really need to learn to do these often. I am the Queen of Unrealistic Expectations. I'm a smart girl, so I know and understand that 1-2 lbs per weeks is the average and is considered by my doctor and the entire bariatric surgery community to be good weight loss, but that somehow does not stop me from being disappointed when I don't lose more. So what do I do? I need to give myself a reality check.   While I was moping about "only" losing 1.6 lbs this week after entering my progress into MFP

Not So Scary

Today, my housemate very sheepishly asked me for a favor. She asked if it would freak me out or upset me if I made a batch of Mac n' cheese. I am famous across several states for my baked Mac n' cheese. No soupy sauces, just a cheese-laden bowl of goodness so dense that you could cut it into squares to serve it and each square would hold its shape until attacked with a fork. Oh, how I love the stuff.   My first reaction was to think that I couldn't do it, because I couldn't face the temptation

Self Control

Not the self control needed to keep from eating. Thanks to yesterday's fill, I'm currently honeymooning in the luxury resort of little food = long satiety. Yay me.   No, I'm talking about the self control it takes me to remove myself from a conversation with no constructive outcome. The self control it takes not to yell and scream and tear out my hair when someone exhibits just how widespread the stigmatization of the obese in our culture has gone. It's so accepted in our culture to hate obesi

The Breakfast Rant

Breakfast and I have never been friends. Then again, mornings and I are not on the best of terms either. I'm so not one of those people who get out of bed ready to face the world and any challenges that come at me. Rather, I get out of bed bitter, grumpy, semi-conscious, hostile, and mute. It takes a minimum of one cup of coffee before it's safe for anyone in the vicinity to approach me, let alone talk to me. If I attempt to eat sooner than at least 1 to 1-1/2 hours after I wake up, everything I

Putt-putt-puttering Along

Reality has set back in. For the first seven days after my last adjustment (first one in 6 months) I was in paradise. Scale kept dropping close to a lb per day. Yay! Thanks, Santa, that's just what I always wanted! Then there was the aberration of a 1 lb gain that I knew had to be bs, so I ignored it, checked my food log, and chalked it down to sodium. Since it was almost all off the next day, that's still my story and I'm sticking to it. Today, the scale just stayed still, so I'm exerting a lot

Am I Hungry or Am I Hungary?

I'm actually fairly certain that I'm not a nation in central Eastern Europe, but beyond that, things start to get fuzzy. While I was off the bandwagon, I forgot all the rules about listening to my body and my band to determine what was hunger and what was head hunger. Actually, it would be more correct to say that I ignored all those rules, and now that I'm trying to pay attention again, I think my skills have rusted.   I'm not sure I was ever very good at really distinguishing between head hu

Back to Work

So I made a couple of forums posts that explained what happened to me, so I won't rehash it. Suffice it to say that frustration both psychological and financial made me give up on my band for the past 6 months, but on Wednesday, I got my first fill since August of last year. It brought me up to 9 cc in my 11cc band, which still scares me a bit, but this is what's happened so far...   I spent Wednesday and Thursday on liquids, progressing to a thick puréed black bean soup last night for dinner.

Finally Hit It!!!

Yay! I finally hit my first self-imposed goal: 25 lbs down!!! WooHOO! (******cue dancing poodles and waving sparklers******)   Tomorrow will mark 3 months of being banded (surgery was Feb 1st), and in that time (well, including pre-surgery liquid diet) I have lost 25 lbs. Forgive me for repeating myself so often, but this is big for me. I think one of the reasons I set my first goal as one that would take some time to accomplish was because I needed hard evidence that this "band thing" could a

Back On The Chain Gang

Not that following the rules of being banded is the equivalent of being on a chain gang (face it, it's not hard physical labor, just a good mental work out) but I've always loved the Pretenders. I mean, how cool is Chrissie Hynde?   I got myself back on track as of Tuesday, and I've had a few good days this week. Of course, I'm also back to weighing myself obsessively (give and take, I suppose), so I'm trying to remember that it's normal for weight to fluctuate day-to-day, so having the scale

If I Know It's My Fault, Why Is It So Hard To Fix?

Today, I'm buckling down, because I've completely stopped losing. In fact, over the past month, I've gained 0.6 lbs. Now, part of me is celebrating and praising my band that I've ONLY gained about half a pound when I have been doing nothing right and totally slacking off this process of being banded, but the other half of me is kicking itself repeatedly in the head and screaming that I'm a #&*%#$%! idiot for paying thousands of dollars for surgery if I'm not going to follow the program that

Exhaustion = Philosophy***

Feeling so tired today, and I'm not sure why, so I might just decide to blame the weather. Yesterday was beautiful, but today it's back to Spring in the PacNW. Translation = Cool and Rainy.   So I was out of touch for a couple of weeks there. Nothing horrible happened, but I had a work deadline that butted right up against a trip out of town, so I was a bit preoccupied and not spending much time on the forums or even online in general. I did learn something, though, that has made me both happy

That's Not Real Food

So one of the things I'm still working on figuring out nearly 8 weeks after banding is what foods are worth it for me to eat. This is a new equation in my life. Before banding, I just ate. Half the time I didn't think about what I was putting in my mouth (if I did, I would have lived in a state of perpetual self-disgust) and the other half, I just didn't care. I was already fat and unhealthy, so why stress about the food that was making me that way? Clearly, I was eating too many calories, but n

Fill 'er Up!

Just got back from having my second fill. This time I know better than to try to predict how it will work until it's had time to settle in. Of course I didn't notice any immediate difference (unless you count belching a couple of times within a few minutes of leaving the office, and with the way I belch after being banded, I put no store in that), but I know it will take time for the stomach to adjust to the additional pressure in the band, so for now, I'm just in waiting mode. Waiting and liqui

Almost Like I Was Banded!

Well, I finally did it! I finally lost an amount of weight in one week that didn't show up on the scale as 0.something or 1.something. This week, I lost 2.8 lbs!!! (Picture me doing a happy dance here. It involves sparkles. And trained poodles.)   This feels almost like I've got a lap band. It's hard sometimes to read about how fast other people are losing weight when I've been losing mostly a pound a week, if I'm lucky. 2.8 brings me real satisfaction. Even if it doesn't happen like this ever

Water, Water Everywhere

The excitement of the moment is that I will be getting my fence fixed! Yay! In a remarkable stroke of luck, I got a phone call last week from a detective with the local police department (this was entirely different from the department that took my report of the fence damage...since I live outside the incorporated city limits, the sheriff's department had jurisdiction over my report). It turns out that she was in the neighborhood the morning of the incident and actually SAW a tow truck hit my fe

Can't You Just Be Happy For 5 Minutes?!?!?

Well, yesterday I was. I was happy for 5 minutes. Maybe 7. I didn't time it (though now I think maybe I should have).   I had my weekly weigh in, and for the first time since the week after surgery, I actually lost 1 whole pound. Plus. I lost 1.8 lbs. Yippee! That's like a normal weight loss, right? That means I really CAN lose 1-2 lbs per week just like the surgeon told me. I can be a real bandster! I can lose this *#$#&$%@! weight in less than 5 years! I can do it! I ROOOOCCCCCKKKKKKK!

Quick And Dirty

This is a quick update because things are fairly status quo at the moment. It was a crazy weekend punctuated by the pain of having to go and order my dress for my bff's May wedding. Let me tell you, there's nothing in the world that can slam a new bandster back down to earth like trying on satin dresses in a bridal shop in front of about 97 million mirrors. I mean, I'm doing well, but I've only been banded 6 weeks and am not at restriction yet, so I've lost only a tiny fraction of what I need to

Rambles

Not the healthy kind, mind you, that involve long walks over varied terrain where you can breathe the fresh air and move your muscles all in the embrace of nature's beauty. No, I'm referring to the kind of rambles where I attempt to disguise the fact that I have nothing new to say, but feel the need to vent the same old whining on you poor people yet again. Feel free to ignore me. I ignore me half the time.   1) This has not been a good week, loss wise. Despite getting my first fill a week ago

Off Site Blog

To anyone who might be interested, I've started a band blog off of LBT. The link is here: http://themagicminimushroom.blogspot.com/   Posts may or may not overlap here and there (they do not at the moment), but I think I probably have enough rants to be okay with both at the moment.

Am I Really Going To Have To Be Adult About This?

Seriously, there are times when I totally resent having to be a grown up, especially about things I want but am not getting. Those are the times when I want to throw myself down on the floor and have a kicking, wailing, punching, sobbing fit worthy of a sugar-crashing three-year-old. And I could do it. Trust me. I could rock the #$&% out of that. RIght now, I'd like to give in, but instead, I'm just going to whine and trust that if you don't want to hear it, you all know where to find your "

Fill, Full, Feel And Other F Words

A little over 24 hours since Fill #1, so anything I say here is speculative at best and ridiculous at worst. Good thing ridiculous has never stopped me.   My surgeon instructed me to stick to liquids for my first meal after the fill, but said that I could progress to mushies after that and back up to soft solids and then solids as soon as it felt comfortable. I'm assuming I still have some swelling, but no discomfort at all. Having liquids yesterday was touch and go. I felt full quickly at lu

Wish Fulfillment!

Yay! I got my first fill this morning! I'm so happy, it's ridiculous. Even if I don't reach restriction from this fill, at least I now know that this journey has really started and is really progressing, and as long as I do the work, I can expect to get results. I can't even describe how that feels. It's euphoric!   Even though my surgeon had indicated I would likely have a fill at this appointment (4 weeks post-op), I still had paranoia that it might not happen. I'm just that kind of girl--a

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