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  • Entries

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About this blog

weight loss and ups and downs with it

Entries in this blog

I was told when i was 20 that i would never be able to have a child of my own. I got married at 23 to a man with three children that i have raised as my own. I got lap band to live a health longer life with my husband and our children. The lap band doctor said there is a small possibility that one day it could happen. To be honest i really didnt think it would ever happen and my OB was pretty sure it wouldn't happen there was just to many problems with my body despite the fact that i have lost o
Up until my one year appointment i think that i would have said very nice things about my Doctor, However im not happy with him at all! Maybe i expected to much maybe, but even at my very lowest expectations didn't seem anything like what happened. Its like he didn't even care once i had come back and i wasn't fat any more. He came in and ask what my problem was i said i dont have a problem they told me i had to come up here for my one year. He said so there isn't a problem well ok any thing els
One year and a day I went to have my lap band surgery, I remember being scared and not really know what my future was going to be like. Before i got started my heaviest was 301lbs. I still dont think that i have ever said that out load but there it is. The day of surgery i weighted a good 295lbs, i wore a pant size of 20 shirts where XXXL, bra 44C, underwear 18s, Sweat pants XXL, and wedding ring was a 10 1/2. Today with all my ups and downs i weigh a 185lbs, pants size 11 to 10, shirts Large,
Monday i will be going back to school, I am so scared and excited! My life didn't really turn out like i thought it would leaving high school in 2005. Sure i went to college just like all my friends and i did the classes but after a while i realized that i had no clue what i was going to do and while i knew i had a good job i was content with not going back after two years. I always had the intention on going back but i wanted to go back when i was sure i knew what i wanted to do. However my in
One year ago today i made a choice that has changed my life. One year ago today i said ok to having lap band surgery. Not knowing what was going to happen to me later on but scared and excited all at the same time. I didn't have my surgery until September but today is the day i said ok to changing my life forever. This time last year i was well on my way to three hundred pulse and my feet, knees, legs, back, everything hurt. I huffed and puffed everywhere i sweat doing the smallest things and i
Well i am almost at my year mark. only one more month and ill be there September will be one whole year. Last month was truly the hardest month i have had in my journey. And it turns out it really wasn't my fault. But for me to get to the point of how this happened i guess you kinda have to go back to where it started right?? Back in February i found out that i have arthritis in my hands crazy because im only 25 but my reg Doctor said i have had it for a while i was just to big to really see it
OK so here i am six days later and so far no pain!!!! I did have my husband call my Dr last night because the pain was so bad that i was shaking and crying something that i rarely do. And i never ask to call the dr and i never go to the er, so when i do that's when people start to worry about me. But it was so intense last night that i thought i might die yes for real. I know that when ever i have pain that bad i turn in to like this awful person who cant control what i say lol. My husband just
OK so after my scare of yesterday i am feeling better today, They took out 4ccs because of way to much acid in my stomach. I feel more like a pin cushion today then anything. Trust me an unfill by a Dr that hasn't ever done it before not a good things ugh but here i am living to tell the tail and to go on another day right!! OK look im not putting down any kind of a hospital except for the one closest to me that i will never ever in my life go to and wouldn't let anyone i dis liked go to either,
Ok someone please help me with this PLEASE don't just read and then go on with your life because as of right now i am ready to rip out the lap band and say to hell with it. I have been sick for a week now. not get me wrong i love my lap band but as soon as i need to throw up the pain is so bad that i just want to say to hell with it but i stick it out and i go on with life because that's all that we can do right? but please tell me that someone else feels this. It starts as a burning and then mo
It is possible that i am in a bander hell! Its also possible that life is hard right now. Of course i am making the best of this and i WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!! ok so here is my problem and just so everyone knows i am working through it! I will win this fight i really will! Ok so last month i couldn't eat at all and that is hard no matter what so they took out .4cc's not to much and i did just fine. This time i went back and they put in .5cc's so yeah i was kinda worried. But i thought they know what
Ok so here it is summer and here i am with three kids who LOVE swimming just as much as me. Which was always fine as long as it was our own pool but about two years ago my kids learned about hurricane harbor and all the water fun that has to offer. All that i could see was me being the over weight mom wishing that i wasn't. I love to make my kids smile and i knew that i would be the only one uncomfortable with myself because i was over weight. I mean i never ever bought myself a swim suit becaus
I have found that sometimes it really not the big things that keep you going its really the small things. My husband put up a meddle fence in our back yard but left a very small space so the kids could get through if they needed to. And when he put this fence up there was no way my fat little body was going to get through. I had looked at it many times and wondered can i get through this? And i didn't want to try because i didn't want to look like a fool trying to squeeze through such a small sp
Well i Know that i haven't written anything in a long while but well its been a crazy month!! I started a new job that i love so much! And it takes up half of my day then my family takes up my other half. Any ways I got a fill on April 30th where they put 1.4cc's in and i go on liquids for two days after, the first thing that i tried to eat after my two days was chicken nuggets that usually i have to cut into small pieces and they go down good and i usually eat about four. However this time it w
This weekend although nothing really special, it was nice quite and really all i did was stay at home and work on house projects. My husband and i refinished an old desk, and that got me to thinking. When we started our project this desk was his mothers and probably her mothers before that. Any ways this desk was in pretty bad shape. One of the drawers was completely broken, The broads that held a mirror a long time missing was broken off and useless, it was dusty, dirty, and it had marker on it
I think im letting things just get to me. I am siting here just thinking about things and you know maybe i have changed allot in the past eight months. That would be from August till now April. See i started out this journey that in my mind i wanted to be skinny and i wanted to be beautiful and i wanted my husband to be happy to be with me lol little did i realize that he already was but any ways. Now here i am and i am about 90lbs lighter then when i started and i have to think am i changing or
Well im on my month seven of lap band. I have to say that so far i have had my bad times my good times and my blah times. Mainly the times that have been bad have really been my own fault. Like when i don't go to the bathroom for four days and i get built up gas all in my stomach well that's my fault and i have learned that i have to keep up with things like that. Well that is what i am going through this week and let me tell you it hurts and its not fun and i couldn't even go to work today beca
Well yesterday out of pure want to i tried on my wedding dress from 2009. I put on the slip that wouldn't stay up with out a fight, i put the suckeriner bra thing on that i didn't need extenders for any more and i gracefully stepped into my wedding dress that was about six sizes too big. As i thought back to my wedding day i thought about before the wedding the scared feelings that excitement then i remembered thinking what am i going to look like in the pics? I thought omg call off the wedding
I am so excited!!! I found a friend that started her lap band journey last month!!! And we live in the same town and our kids play sports together! I know that sounds crazy but i live in a very small town and i have yet to meet anyone that has lap band. Not only that but we have the same doctor and her first fill and my like seventh is on the same day at almost the same time. Its so nice to know that i don't have to go alone any more. Now i am no longer shy about telling people that i have had
Ok as everyone knows and as i have said before i have had an obession with food my whole life. Starting from when i was about four years old. I think that is when it started. I remember sitting in the living room watching my cartoons while my mom worked in her office in our home. I ran in and ask may i please have a snack. My mother told me no you may not. I was hungry and not fully understanding the reason why i couldn't have one of my favorite snacks (a hot dog with cheese no bread) i went in
One day while my husband and i where not married but a couple i went out to where he works for lunch, As we ate our lunch we got to talking about this guy that he didn't like and i had just seen. I ask what his name was he said Robbie i said oh like my name lol he said yes. We where talking and the conversation came up that he had had lap band surgery about two years ago. I said well how much did he weigh before? My husband said he weights more now then he did when he started. I could tell i had
It took me five months to see that i had lost weight. It took my mom forcing me to into a size 16 from a 20 (because i was scared they wouldn't fit). And sometimes i don't see that i have changed at all. When i look in the mirror sometimes i still see the old me, the me that was over weight to the point of i didn't look like i had a neck. I don't recognize the person looking back at me sometimes. Although lots of people have said to me "you have lost so much weight! How did you do it?" The first
On my journey the one thing that i can say is that its not my fault that i am loosing weight and your not! I have worked hard to be where i am right now and what have you done? Nothing but put me down! Ok let me explain please i have known lots of people like this, Before when i was big there where people that would talk to me but we were not friends. Now the same people think that its ok to pretend like i dont exist or they will talk bad about me say things like so and so's mom (and point at me
Ok im going to make this short and sweet because i had a four hour drive today and then a big basketball game that was a real nail bitter so i am a little sleepy. Any ways i kinda want to talk about sweets tonight. Ok now even though i have done really good with my lap band I still sometimes eat sweets. I still eat cookies and ice cream and very rarely do i ever eat candy but sometimes. I don't really like candy all that much. Any ways i have lost a total of 80 something pounds since i have been
Well its a new day and that means new obstetrical, I have found since me and lap band became friends that i have new things to deal with everyday. What are you talking about you might ask well here we go lol. Before banding i would wake up in the mornings slowly get out of bed and want to cry as soon as my feet hit the floor. my feet hurt and my back was in a big amount of pain. Then i would go to the bathroom, Then strait to the kitchen for a soda and the remote. not to menchen i would wake up
Ok i know that i already posted a blog earlier but i cant help but to remember things that i want to talk about and didn't. Life with lap band isn't perfect and it wasn't meant to be its a tool just like a computer or a calculator is its there for help. It isnt there to just take the fat away while you do nothing its not an easy fix, now the reason i say this is because i can not count the number of time i have been told well isnt that cheating? And this is my answer "NO you dont understand i ha

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